maybe i’m bitter and mean but nothing makes me more angry than twee little jokes about using “whatever bathroom line is shortest” my girlfriend cannot use any pubic restrooms without explicit threats of rape and/or violence can you find something more funny to joke about . fuck you
gee it sure is fun how tme trans ppl think they get to make flippant jokes about how they aren't the main target of scrutiny and abuse for our transmisogynistic society instead of realising how in complete poor fucking taste joking about that is. if they're going to cry to hell and back about being innocent and unable to hold any privilege whatsoever the least they can do is not rub their overwhelming privilege of avoiding transmisogyny in our fucking faces.
This, it often feels hard to explain TMA and TME experiences from the transfem perspective (i.e actually explaining what it/we mean) but it really just comes down to the fact that transmasculine people (passing or not, binary or not) simply do not have to deal with the Same Kinds of bullshit that transfems have to deal with. Society does in fact treat us differently, and you don't have a chance at knowing those differences if you haven't lived through them.
And if a transmasc has an occasional experience with transmisogyny, it's because they were mistaken for a transfem. Having/making fewer memes on reddit does not make you oppressed. Having the positionality where you can participate in the digital lynching of a transfem without for one second fearing for your own safety, means you are capable of being an oppressor. It means you have privilege, like a white kid at a lynching, or a man at a witch trial, you know that you are not the target (and failing to speak out means you're part of the problem).
The society we're stuck with doesn't care that transmasculine enbies should not have to be tied to or associated with thier agab, and the gender binary. It just treats them differently than any transfem. And transfems have to navigate the downsides of that regardless.
When I talk with my adult trans male coworker (who passes easily) my presence and desire to talk with him often makes him uncomfortable. I don't pass, even though my face is starting to be androgynous and I'm built like mild Korra fanart, everyone can tell that I'm trans. So being associated with me serves as an uncomfortable reminder to him of the reality I have to live with and that the politics around my reality can affect him too (if applied as sweeping legal changes). If that's not privilege I don't know what is.
Hey girls, you ever have that moment where you go up to a secretary who's scowling at you and you ask her if there's a single-occupant bathroom in the facility that you can use. Then you watch in real-time the slowly dawning realization cross her face for the first time in her life that trans women don't want to go in women's bathrooms to rape or brutalize cis women, and that we actually just want to be able to use a bathroom like anyone else, without being accosted by strangers? As she realises that single occupant bathrooms singlehandedly solve the whole controversy and if they were more common then everyone could get a bit more privacy. Then she learns firsthand as she hands me the key that trans women like me might actually have a greater need/desire for privacy than a cis woman like her, given that I'm going out of my way to get it because I feel that I need it?
Lol, fun times whenever it happens. Lol I just love being the first person to ever educate a given stranger that I'm not the demonic inhuman monster they've been told! I unironically go out of my way to do this more often than I need to, education is important after all!
Hashtag just transfem things! Hashtag relatable!!!!!!
