you ever get tired of living but in a non-suicidal way

like everything is bad everywhere and no one has money and im tired of this cycle

i tried to explain how i was feeling like this to my drug counselor and she was like "yeah that still sounds kinda suicidal" and i could not figure out how to explain that i don't wanna die, i just like. am so so so tired of the way life is for me and all my friends and family. i'm tired of living like this but i'm gonna keep doing it bc i guess there's no other choice

I don't wanna die, I wanna go lay on a warm field under the sun and watch the clouds go by. How is this hard to understand?