A Beginner-Friendly THC Drink, With a Mysterious Flavor

The five Black Cherry THC Seltzers are a low-dose THC seltzer that I thought would fall flat, but they held their own against their competitors. Did these send me to the moon and all around the stars on a silly high? No. Would I recommend them? Yes. I’ll explain why below.

Get Low, Low, Low (Dose)

I expected a brand called five to have at least 5mg THC in every can, but they took the path of lower doses. Each can contains 2mg Delta-9 THC and 2mg CBD. So if you’re a newbie, these are my top recommendations. 

The 2mg THC is a microdose for most people, allowing you to ease your way into the high and have complete control over your experience. Start with one, wait 15-30 minutes to see how you feel, and then crack open another one to take your high up a level. 

For all my heavy-hitting cannabis users who need more than 2mg to feel anything, I can only recommend these for flavor. Or, possibly for situations where you want an undercurrent of relaxation, but not a serious high. For example, I can drink one of these while working —something I don’t do with higher-dose drinks because I’ll get too hazy to tell all you good people what I think about the product. 

Ideal for Newbs

My base dose for feeling something is 10mg Delta-9 THC. If I wanted to get stoned off these, I’d have to pound at least five at a terrifyingly fast pace. My tummy can’t handle that. 

I did manage to chug (and by chug, I mean pathetically and eagerly sip through a straw) two of these in under 30 minutes. It was relaxing, and maybe even a little airy. I didn’t feel high, but it felt like I was having a good day, even while fighting with my dog over acceptable volume levels for barking. I felt she was a bit too loud, and she loudly disagreed with me. 

Based on the 1:1 THC to CBD ratio — my very favorite ratio — I think these would get a new cannabis user perfectly uplifted. For the rest of us veterans, they’re yummy, but not strong enough for that intense buzz to hit. 

Deliciously Enigmatic

The flavors from five are incredibly easy to drink. There’s something luscious and crowd-pleasing about them. They’re not bland or overly subtle, but they also don’t punch you in the face with an obnoxious flavor either. 

The one place where they lack a bit is in flavor distinctness. I loved the Black Cherry, but I can’t say it was obviously cherry-flavored. It definitely has a rich fruity taste, but water gun to my head, I’m not sure I could’ve told you it was black cherry.  The difference between the Black Cherry flavor and the other flavors, like Guava Passionfruit, feels minimal.

Aside from an ambiguous flavor profile, all the drinks share something else: a smooth, gentle texture. The beverages are carbonated but not excessively so. It’s a lush feel on your tongue that doesn’t leave you bloated, but still delivers that sparkling sensation. 

A Dynamic Brand

The five brands’ packaging is generally sleek while still being playful. The seltzers have a tropical vibe, with a doodle of a sunny road lined with palm trees at the top. I assume the fruity flavor options and relaxing high inspire this.

When we look at the gummies, they have a trippier, vaporwave style. And the packaging for the chocolates looks more artistic and ethereal. The tincture drops and capsules are straightforward, with that medical-like packaging. All the vibes work for me, and they give each product a distinct aura that sets them apart from one another.

Paying For a Slow Experience

They sell these 6-pack seltzers for $30, which is $5 a can. Normally, I’d say that’s a stellar deal, but with only 2mg THC, it’s not the most bang for your buck. 

For the most part, the average hovers around $6 per can containing 5mg THC. Some drinks cost more but give you more bang, like the Upstate Elevator Yuzu Spritz, while others are affordable and gentle, like the Untitled Art Mystic Orbit Planetary Peach Soda. 

If you’re trying to get to Cloud-9 on a budget, this isn’t the most cost-effective drink. If you’re trying to ease your way up and want it to be a lax, slow experience, they’re worth the $5. Plus, they cost less if you subscribe and save. 

High-Five for five’s High

While a lifelong user like me needs a bigger punch, I think the five Black Cherry THC Seltzers are an exquisite product for beginners. The truth is, they’re so yummy I’d drink these if there were no cannabis compounds at all.

If I’m trying to get high, they’re not going to do the trick for me, but they’ll be one of the first cans I hand to my timid friends. Even 4-5mg THC drinks can prove to be too much for beginners. The 2mg dose is a kind dose for those who’ve never tried THC, or users who want a barely-there high that’s relaxing. 

More Microdoses (And a Bigger Punch)

The BREZ OG Micro THC Beverage contains 2.5mg Delta-9 THC, so they’re a teensy bit stronger than the five seltzers — the perfect level-up after you do the 2mg. 

As mentioned, the Untitled Art Mystic Orbit Planetary Peach THC-Infused Soda is very gentle, with just 4mg THC. 

I promised a punch, so here it is: the Upstate Elevator Yuzu Lemonade Spritz. Like I said, this one is potent, so only try it if you’re comfortable with cannabis.