People have real issues understanding why the absence of romance and sexual desire is such a big deal. “No one bothers you over your sexual orientation! You’re basically a straight person!” No wrong. The older you get the more your life is considered a failure for failing to find a life partner and get your 2.5 kids in.
Like people make fun of middle aged women for not getting married or being divorced or “always the bridesmaid never the bride” and all like “oh she’s desperate! No one wants her! Old maid!’ but they become straight up hostile and upset when you tell them you never want to date.
Being unpartnered after your mid twenties is just like "oh what’s wrong with you” and “don’t worry you’ll find your guy” “aren’t you afraid of being alone” “who will take care of you” “you’re running out of time to have kids” and no matter what you are or aren’t people straight up don’t understand that you don’t want them.
outside of the obvious reasons why the hollanov relationship reveal must be crazy to shane’s parents, it’s gotta be wild to them that their shy, awkward kid is dating the league slut. their kid, who cannot even say the word “sex” without blushing, has been fucking a man whose sexual reputation is a topic of conversation. for a decade. they are in fact on a sexcation together. if you want to see them, you need to text them that you’re on your way there, because even if they know you’re coming in advance, they cannot keep their hands off of each other long enough to properly keep track of time. david hollander sees things start to heat up between them and knows instantly that they have probably fucked against every window in that extremely glass house.
idk i’m obsessed with how shane bringing ilya home is not just him coming out as gay, it’s him coming out as an experienced sex freak.
horror is always like oh no they’re possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.
That’s scarier I think. To know the possession is Necessary. That any attempt to stop it will lead to greater tragedy as the angel’s divine mission is interrupted. So you just have to sit there. And watch something else puppet your friend’s body.
aaron starts it and andrew sends it back to him with “dumbass” added on. they mail it back and forth every few months, with a new insult added. just for fun.
for absolutely no reason at all, these past few days i have been thinking about this lukas gage tweet and how i wish people finally understood that an actor’s sexuality is none of their fucking business
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but if your crush is autistic (or suspected), you ABSOLUTELY MUST tell them you have a crush on them. And if your way of telling them is inviting them somewhere as a date, you ABSOLUTELY MUST tell them it’s supposed to be a date.
The only reason I am married to my wife now is that in 2018 she straight up told me she had a crush on me and wanted to be my girlfriend.
Seconding. I didn’t realise spouse had been flirting with me AFTER A SOLID WEEK OF TALKING ONLINE NON-STOP when they explicitly asked if I wanted to go on a date
One of my ex’s didn’t realize I had a thing for him after I whipped off my top, revealing a lacy hot pink see through bra and sat on his lap flirting for half an hour. His eyes never went below my nose. I sighed, took that as rejection, and moved off and said “oh, I had such a crush on you.”
He was genuinely shocked. He thought his crush was unrequited and was trying to be a gentleman. I thought half naked lap grinding was an impossible to miss signal.
If you have a neurodivergent baddie you wanna bang your only option is to yell “I CHOOSE YOU PICACHU”
Remember: this is NOT only if you want to bang
if you want to not have sex but still want to smooch PLEASE clarify that
PLEASE!!!!!!
if you want to not
have sex but still want to smooch
PLEASE clarify that
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Good advice. Reblogging for the haiku bot.
I feel honored that one of my posts was chosen by the haiku bot
Ilya: just woken up in the middle of the night, brain barely firing on Russian let alone English
Shane: rattles off in 3 different ways an entire new life plan he’s been obsessively mapping out sitting in the dark and had to wake Ilya up to tell because he couldn’t let it just sit
I love reading fanfics where one character is tagged as jealous, but their partner is unlovable to anyone but them. Like.. calm down, sweetheart, no one wants your man. We’re still trying to figure out why you want your man.
