you ever think about how this is moment Ed chose to live, because his gravy-basket vision conjured up Stede in his mind, & he realized, he BELIEVED for the first time that he was, in fact, lovable and worthy of love?
& that it might have been the first time he felt loved in his entire life? & that he'd finally learned to love himself, which made it possible to recognize/accept love from someone else, so this was an earth-shaking epiphany to him to the point where he brought himself back from the brink of death?
and now i'm thinking about how Ed saved Stede, that there was a compassion in Ed that compelled him to care for Stede on *his* deathbed even before he they knew each other? and how Ed's past suffering could have broken him forever, but he ultimately made the choice to love and to live instead?
Some of you need to learn how to read. A headcanon recently expressed by some of us here that Ed's sex life was probably pretty lackluster in his Blackbeard years is not puritanical. The take isn't that this is good and pure and yippie monogamy. Fuck no, it's sad! The point is that it's sad! Here's a guy who loves sex! Who lists orgasms as one of the things to live for! It's sad that this guy who values sexual pleasure so much feels the need to claim it's not just intercourse he likes, he would also like to come. It's sad! And this sadness, and the interpretation that not in Ed's youth but during his fame pleasure was hard to come by is easily supported by the text. (And that's sad!) Ed's life as Blackbeard is characterised by isolation, loneliness, and a constant grind of boring same business as usual with no space for anything that's fun. To assume that includes not much fun casual sex is adding another puzzle piece to the tragedy that is Ed's sad life. It's not approval of him being nice and pure and saving himself for true love magical healing sex, for fuck's sake. The take is that a guy who values sex should get to have much of it for funsies, but he probably doesn't, because he says himself that a lot of it was meh and didn't include orgasms, and because he's a lonely misunderstood individual stuck up on the Blackbeard pedestal. It's not good! It's sad!
Heyyyy thinking about waking up this here Tumblr thingy and posting some of my pastel art ❤️ Here’s frame 1 from the You Drew Me A Lovely Frame project!
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