he ran after him btw. he noticed him leaving and followed him.

*yuri beams your hockey yaoi*

god he has all the stupid little tuna melt ingredients prepared in containers in a neat stack in his fridge. he's losing the idgaf war in ways no one has ever lost before. "I was gonna make one for me I can make two" shut up you FREAK with your temperature controlled ginger ale. do you think this is the first time in his life he's actually tried to get someone to stay at his house. like I'm sure sveta has stayed over for a few days or whatever but it's just. baby's first crush. he logicked shane into a corner so he'd run out of excuses to leave and then he put everything in little containers right next to the ginger ale so he could get it all out quickly and smoothly and shane would think he was so nonchalant and wouldn't notice that he just accidentally got a husband. memorized his stupid little schedule. he was pacing around the house before shane got there, putting on his suit in the mirror. he whipped that shirt at Shane so quick HE WASNT EVEN WEARING A SHIRT he put it by the bed so he could put shane in his clothes. oh my god he cleaned his room and left a tshirt casually by the bed. picked out the one he wanted shane to wear. mayor of yearntown. king of yearnia. i think i hauve covid

losing my MIND over the fact that Ilya probably thinks he's actually helping when they go to Shane's parents' house.

They get there and Shane is like "Ilya and I are, uh..." and Ilya is like "hmm we haven't talked about this but I know Shane is really uncomfortable right now, so I will shout out the one (1) english word I know that describes this situation. LOVERS."

Then they're talking about how long they've been together and Shane is like "since our rookie season" and Ilya is like "well, hold on now, you said you don't like lying to your parents, so let's be very clear about when this started. We have to be so clear about the fact that it started the summer before our rookie season. Wait, would it make you feel better if I give your parents the exact date and time of our first hookup?"

And then Yuna is like "you've been in love that long?" and Ilya is like "I need you to understand I've been drilling your son into mattresses from here to Florida for the last decade, but I can't say that because I want you to be my mother in law, so are you picking up what I'm putting down?" and Shane is like ILYA and Ilya is like "I am ANSWERING MY MOTHER IN LAW'S QUESTIONS"

And then he drinks his vodka and eats his pasta in his Boston shirt, very proud of himself for being sooooo supportive, meanwhile Shane is actively praying for a black hole to swallow him up

its actually crazy how good music is. and its all different, too. like wow. huge deal really when you think about it

”genetic” girl WHATEVERRRRR

Piping hot take: I don't give a shit if straight actors play queer characters as long as they do so with empathy and authenticity. When you say shit like "only queer actors should play queer characters" what you're actually saying is only OUT queer actors should play queer characters. If you're assuming an actor (or anyone else, for that matter) who hasn't declared their sexuality is straight, you are participating in heteronormativity.

Happy Birthday, David, wherever you are in the cosmos. Thank you for teaching me that it’s okay, even preferable, to be weird.

pirate summer, vampire autumn and polar expedition winter I'm only missing spring then I'm set for the gay year

first rule of fandom is everything goes back to destiel

second rule of fandom is everything goes back to kirk/spock

third rule of fandom is everything goes back to holmes & watson

fourth rule of fandom is everything goes back to achilles & patroclus

the funny thing is. I originally typed out "fifth rule of fandom is everything goes back to gilgamesh & enkidu" but then I thought 'no, I can't trust that people will be familiar with the epic of gilgamesh'

I should have known. nerd ass website.

The end. The beginning.

my goth claudia + madeleine piece for the blood & brocade zine of @thevelvetcompote (the digital version is available and all proceeds go to PCRF!)

bonus closeup under the cut