my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"
OP the tags!!
I like how here you can suggest ideas that are absolutely horrible and finish your argument with "this will cause insurmountable damage and benefit nobody" and people are like yeah. Nobody will start trying to explain it to you with common sense how that would be an idiotic idea, we can all just accept that people will throw stupid bullshit out here for fun.
Avatar AU where Aang wakes up like 3 days before Sozin's Comet returns and he has to speedrun the entire series.
The south pole and north pole exist on the same map file so if you break out of bound you can get from one to the other without having to travel the world.
Zuko's redemption stat and hair stat are tied to the same variable, so if you put the right wig on him he becomes automatically redeemed.
Toph's Earthbending allows for ample sequence breaks. If you create a ramp next to the Ba Sing Se wall you could launch yourself straight into the season 2 finale.
Unfortunately you have to complete Bato of the Water Tribe because otherwise June won't appear in the finale, softlocking from you beating the Fire Nation.
It's not actually necessary; but everyone always stops at the southern air temple to pick up Momo. It's become a tradition, where the speed runs are automatically invalidated if you didn't get him.
If I see you doing a Momoless run I’m unsubscribing.
Look it's called Any%. Momo% is it's own sub category, which is just how fast you can get Momo, and FullMomo% is Any% but you have to pick up Momo AND do all of the mini-game sections with him.
Momo% runs in 2005: Using the infinite glider glitch to fly straight to the southern air temple
Momo% runs in 2024: Modulating Sokka's SPM (sexism per minute) rate to manipulate the RNG for a favorable spawn in the underground Momo matrix
the speed at which i booted up my computer to make this was wild
Sometimes I can still hear their voice
Breaking: TikTok is better bc it’s more hostile towards humanity
The lack of video content is what kept us here... I thought we all agree that the best feature of this hellhole was and always will be anonymity.
Tumblr's not asking for my phone number. It's not going through my contacts to try and connect me with my fucking colleagues. I can come here and talk about whatever I want without anyone ever seeing my face or hearing my voice. I don't have to censor myself and hide my interests or enthusiasm out of fear of consequences it might have in my real life.
I think the biggest misunderstanding they have of Tumblr is that they think of it as a social media platform when in actuality it's a blogging platform with social features.
I like the use of Metroman here because if there's one thing Tumblr users collectively agree on it's that we want everyone to think we're dead
wish we were still on Tumblr instead of the void
A videogame where your character plays a trumpet, and you can either play it as a rhythm game where you need to hit all the notes right in the exact right order in order to be such a lovely musician that people will let you do whatever you want. Or you need to figure out how to play it so badly that you can use it as a noise weapon. There's a skill tree.
That thing about how cats think humans are big kittens is a myth, y’know.
It’s basically born of false assumptions; folks were trying to explain how a naturally solitary animal could form such complex social bonds with humans, and the explanation they settled on is “it’s a displaced parent/child bond”.
The trouble is, cats aren’t naturally solitary. We just assumed they were based on observations of European wildcats - but housecats aren’t descended from European wildcats. They’re descended from African wildcats, which are known to hunt in bonded pairs and family groupings, and that social tendency is even stronger in their domesticated relatives. The natural social unit of the housecat is a colony: a loose affiliation of cats centred around a shared territory held by alliance of dominant females, who raise all of the colony’s kittens communally.
It’s often remarked that dogs understand that humans are different, while cats just think humans are big, clumsy cats, and that’s totally true - but they regard us as adult colonymates, not as kittens, and all of their social behaviour toward us makes a lot more sense through that lens.
They like to cuddle because communal grooming is how cats bond with colonymates - it establishes a shared scent-identity for the colony and helps clean spots that they can’t easily reach on their own.
They bring us dead animals because cats transport surplus kills back to the colony’s shared territory for consumption by pregnant, nursing, or sick colonymates who can’t easily hunt on their own. Indeed, that’s why they kill so much more than they individually need - it’s not for fun, but to generate enough surplus kills to sustain the colony’s non-hunting members.
They’re okay with us messing with their kittens because communal parenting is the norm in a colony setting, and us being colonymates in their minds automatically makes us co-parents.
It’s even why many cats are so much more tolerant toward very small children, as long as those children are related to one of their regular humans: they can tell the difference between human adults and human “kittens”, and your kittens are their kittens.
Basically, you’re going to have a much easier time getting a handle on why your cat does why your cat does if you remember that the natural mode of social organisation for cats is not as isolated solitary hunters, but as a big communal catpile - and for that purpose, you count as a cat.
This all makes me very happy to know.
A wizard that discovers a potion that has no other trait than giving you 15 minutes of intensely gay thoughts. It doesn't seem to work on anyone else.
It's not magical. The brew just contains plants rich in iron and several key nutrients and vitamins that the wizard is chronically deficient in.
I got this while scrolling on instagram to try to convince me to join threads and I—
We did it. We finally saved her.
I love that it’s technically fully canon compliant characterization that Danny A) once asked if seals were dogs because they bark, and simultaneously B) knows how to successfully land a space shuttle at 14 bc he does simulations online constantly. Truly one of the most Characters of All Time.
Kill me once: owwwiieeeee:(((
Kill me twice: how did you do that
tag via @jackdaw-sprite
God I love Apothecary Diaries. Maomao is like a dog with a mouth full of Lego bricks to me. Babygirl don’t eat that
So imagine you go to a brothel and when you get there it’s full of beautiful women but then also there’s this dog. And when you ask “hey what’s with the dog” they’re like oh the dog, we love the dog, everybody loves the dog, the dog collects rocks from the yard. And you’re like “okay” but later you find the dog gathering piles of rocks and cementing them into a beautiful river-stone wall to protect the building. And you’re like “I didn’t even know dogs could do that”. And they’re like “that’s nothing, check this out” and then the dog starts doing multiplication with the rocks. You’re like “what the fuck” and they go “nahh she’s just getting started”. And they start giving the dog complex mathematical formulas that the dog answers by laying out the rocks. And you go “holy shit that’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen”. And they go “it’s the smartest dog in the world” and you’re like “wow that’s amazing”. And then you look outside and the dog is eating the rocks. And you’re like “can the dog eat rocks?”. And they’re like “no”
One day you find out the dog went missing. “We don’t know where the dog went but we miss the dog”, the beautiful women tell you. A year later the dog comes back. The dog is accompanied by the Duke of wales. “My gardener stole this dog but now I would like to buy it”, he says. “The dog has built me a beautiful castle and solved the viscount’s mysterious murder.” You aren’t sure how the dog did that by stacking rocks but you’re still incredibly impressed. The beautiful women are so happy to see the dog again. “Did you know that the dog can ride a bike?” The Duke asks. You look at the dog. The dog is obviously concealing a mouth full of gravel
This is the post that enticed me to watch apothecary diaries and now that I am watching apothecary diaries I am constantly pointing at the very deliberately cat-coded character, whose name is 'cat-cat', and shouting 'this dog can EAT ROCKS?'.
I’ve gotten so many messages about this post because Maomao is EXPLICITLY cat-coded with cat motifs and cat associations with cat jokes but the truth is there was no energy I could think of that captured her baffling aura like a large old farm dog dog eating a rock. Cat eating plastic? Cat opening doors? Cat eating legos? No, she is my grandpa’s very clever old sheepdog who would roll his eyes at you and tiredly and patiently perform very human tasks as you asked him to like a 56 year old underpaid chain-smoking senior retail colleague and then turn around and try and eat a rock. In a world of elegant show-breed cats she is a cat yes but also The Most Dog cat there ever was. And she’s eating rocks
Yeah actually, one day you give the dog a bath and it’s the most majestic giant Norwegian forest cat you’ve ever seen in your entire life. But☝️it’s still an absolute FIEND for eating rocks
yesterday I had the thought "visual novel for normal people" (?) and halfway through making this image (which I thought would be really funny) I realized it was completely meaningless
yesterday I had the thought "visual novel for normal people" (?) and halfway through making this image (which I thought would be really funny) I realized it was completely meaningless
