CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.

AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW

PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES

So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.

In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:

When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet. 

Some examples of lies people belive:

When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way. 

In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others. 

Long post underneath.

I think it’s quite possible that Robby would be the one to harm a patient this season.

Despite her flawed, likely misguided corporate-oriented policies, Dr Al-Hashimi is indeed recommending the appropriate procedure. I have seen this popular theory that, either through AI or something else, she could be the one committing malpractice, and I have seen a couple of doctors and at least one Health Administration student in the fandom express their discomfort with her policies and her lack of adjustment to the work culture around her. So yeah, it's pretty likely to crash in some form or another. The whole of S1 was to demonstrate that emergency medicine requires a lot of improvisation, not necessarily adhering to what the corporation says should be done. These people are working with scraps and little to no time. Precisely in this field, time is one of the biggest factors. BUT, there could be a dark twist for all the things that happened in season 1, especially for Robby's character arc.

Dr Collins kept calling him out on long shots he took before having lab results or in implementing risky procedures. That was part of the show's argument on why he is a good emergency doctor, and it was compelling and effective. The fact that he has been as successful as he has and managed to lead the care of almost 300 victims of a mass shooting speaks to his knowledge and skill. But as much as I hate AI, the human gut is also quite flawed; it is built on doctors' experience and is limited by their biases (S1 had some examples). And in Robby's case, his gut is accompanied by a huge ego. All of which adds to the competitiveness and pettiness he is showing right now, mainly against Al-Hashimi, though it could also be directed at Frank.

And it would make a lot of sense for his character arc, too. Robby has basically installed cowboy law in that hospital. The procedures after the shooting were full of long shots that definitely could have been material for a lawsuit if something went wrong. It kinda happened throughout the season, too. They want to save lives, and some of them, inspired maybe by too much confidence, resembling Robby's ego, do a lot of risky things:

All this was done in the name of saving lives, and we cheered, cause we are human. It was an unprecedented emergency that called for unprecedented techniques. But wow, any of that could have gone insanely wrong. Almost all these people knew that what they were doing could be harmful, or had insufficient experience to deal with it if it went south. Notice how it is almost always the young doctors who are doing this; some of them are only med students. But Robby is the first one to pull these moves, and even two episodes in season two, he is applying the same motto.

This cowboy law cannot last much longer before it becomes damaging. You are gonna run out of luck; your gut might finally be mistaken. Procedures exist for a reason. Also, even if someone else commits the malpractice, that is still Robby’s responsibility.

Idk if they'll go in this direction, but it would be interesting either way. Robby definitely uses his ego to justify a lot of these long shots, sometimes only to spite Al-Hashime, and that might fire back at him.

I really think the "haunting" thing is a red flag in itself. Like, even if you wanted to romanticize it, Carmy didn't say it was his guilty conscience that haunted him; he said it was Claire who haunted him, and it seems to be about all these memories of her and how he perceived their relationship. But the word "haunted" seems pretty intentional. This verb was only previously used with the restaurant and Michael. Cicero said the place made him think bad things just by being inside it. Implying the restaurant is a haunted house. The dominion of Michael, even if we think he was also trapped in his dominion. So there is that relationship between Claire and Michael that we have theorized.

But like, being haunted implies being chased by a supernatural entity against your will. It coincides with this implied coercion that has plagued the entirety of Carmy's relationship with Claire. As @morningssofgold has pointed out in various metas. Also, having "haunted eyes" means "having or showing signs of mental anguish or torment". And that describes Carmy every time he is anxious around Claire.

Robby can be quite a bully sometimes. Like, in the first season, his determination to serve his own ego came (for me) from a necessity to reassure himself and his abilities after killing a man he cared for, to save another life. He relies on his work and decisions to determine his self-value but he is willing to aggravate or corner anybody who threatens that ego. He made McKay feel responsible for a teen that had expressed violent thoughts about women because, in that one case, he was the one in the right and wanted to feel good about himself (in the worst possible day if his life)

But now we are in season 2, some time has passed, and he antagonize Al-Hashimi before even meeting her. Listen, I have seen doctors in the fandom that don't like her initiatives because they have seen that in real life. And it's definitely possible all of Al-Hashimi ideas are just corporate pro ai bullshit that doesn't translate into good patient care.

But the show wanted to let you know that Robby resented her before meeting her or actually knowing her intentions on implementation this policies. Didn't matter she wanted to know and follow the way he did things. The comment on her last name. Saying the V.A department didn't have an E.R. Making her catch piss of a baby because that's the test she wanted. He is leaving and yet the idea that someone else could do his job in any different way is a threat to him. And let's be real, I don't think he would be pulling this crap if Baran were a man. And if he did, he would be more subtle about it. He also contradicted his own orders in favor of that woman he is in a relationship with, so yeah, it's about whatever floats his boat.

@tvgremlin and @sonoranbumblebee

Idk of anyone has mentioned this about Mel and her deposition. So not all autistic people have issues with like lying or wholeheartedly respect authority. But me and all autistic people I have met have a strong hold for what we think is right or wrong, black and white thinking. And you don't even need to be right for it to be a solid truth in your mind, true as the sky is blue. And for Mel not only has she potentially “hurt someone” but maybe in her black and white view of the world malpractices shouldn't happen at all, doesn't matter if everyone else considers it normal, and she is likely also not thinking the patience might be acting out of malice (though it may be what's happening here).

Carmy needs to stop seeking validation. Especially Donna's validation.

So, to me, one of the best pieces of television ever written was the first 4 seasons of The West Wing. And they have a very good example of the almost invisible effects that abuse has on the psyche.

In the scene above, Jed Barlett, the president in this show, has 5 nights of insomnia, so he consults a therapist, and the discussion brings up the fact that Jed's father was abusive. The dialogue follows:

And there lies the whole meat and potatoes of this thing with Donna, Carmen, and the culinary industry. Carmen wanted the validation of this hard, exclusive, exploitative industry, so Donna would stop hitting him (and abusing him in general). Even though he is an adult, his inner child is so traumatized that he sees these accomplishments as proof of his worth as a person, that he was worthy of the love and consideration Donna denied him. Which is also why he tolerated Fields' abuse as long as he did, he wanted to prove them both wrong

Carmen said in S3: "We are going to show them." Sydney is like, "Who are they?" and that's the answer, Fields, but mainly Donna.

That's why he was never gonna heal working as a chef; he needs to heal, see Donna as the monster she is, so he can stop seeking her validation through any of his endeavors.

The scene at the west wing ends with this dialogue

Now, the father of the president is dead, but there is an argument that he would never have changed either way. There is also an argument that if Donna never saw Carmen as person who deserved respect and care when he was a literal child, her child, why would she believe that now? She hasn't said she has realized that or why she resented her kids so much; she just said that she is lonely. The jury is still out for me.

There is also the very likely case that Carmen is looking for Donnas validation trough Claire too, so there is that.

Talking to @non-negotiable12 about the possibility of a twist coming in s5, I wanted to mention this:

Sometimes I think even for the people who don't care about Claire to have 3 seasons of Carmy thinking she is good for him and therefore dreaming and pursuing her just so a twist comes and tells you “yeah no she was horrible all the time right in your face” has to be quite a witplash. This is not a murder mystery when you can go aha in a moment, they either have to build to it, which means another season of revealing Claire's true nature, or Carmy on his own doubting her and growing on his own, showcasing the things that made their relationship work are not there anymore.

We might see her double down on insensitive jokes to the point of being obvious to the people who are ambivalent to her. All building up to the now expected confrontation at the end of the season. I assume the Claire reveal and Carmy cutting Donna off would come up together, because that was always the big parallel.

And unfortunately that might be the end of the show. I think that was always Storers intention. To make a story of how we lie to ourselves in abusive situations, the use of the abusive partner to low-key resemble an abusive caretaker. Which is something many people experience.

If @sonoranbumblebee theory of Michael being the true abuser in the background is true, they could frame Donna and Claire as accessory abusers. And therefore we could have a 6th season so Carmen could put all the pieces together. And in that season we could have the long-awaited sydcarmy love confession.

So …my fanfic senses were telling me all day that I should check what fics have updated and long and behold…

I’m halfway but if you need emotional support I’ll see you at the comments

@notthebear @adamuschef @waywardangel-wilds

Things about sydcarmy that makes too much fucking sense thematically.

That a guy that has felt antagonized all his life by his family and peers because of his sensibility and artistic pursuits would fall in love with the only person that presented in his life like an ally to these pursuits and that this woman also fell in love with him tasting his sensitivity in that hamachi dish.

That the guy that is so disconnected with his emotions due to trauma would be attracted to (and therefore scared of) the girl that “allows herself to care and feel things” By falling in love with her, abx being close to her, Carmen is symbolically in the path to integrating his own feelings, the good and the bad. This is something that was pointed out by Richie “you are not fully integrated”

That a guy that feels trapped and haunted by his past would fall in love with the girl that is a complete outsider to all the systems that keep him in the past.

That the guy was abused by a corrupt culinary industry based on taking away peoples ideas and exploit them, would then fell for the girl who wants to defeat that system and create a safe environment where everyone's voice is heard and everyone can grow.

That the guy who doesn't value resources over his own perceived safety would fell in love with the girl who wants resources for everyone.

That the guy who's ego is based on his capacity to do this high-end culinary procedures would fell in love with the girl that is too fucking smart she can figure out in 5 minutes something that it took a chef under him 1 full month to solve. That he cannot help himself but to fall in love with the person that bested him.

That the guy who didn't had any friends growing up would feel attracted to the telepathy and sincronicity he has with Sydney. They are actually “in tune” with each other as if they had been actual friends forever. Even when he had a full girlfriend experience on the side and that could have solved that need of having someone “like a friend” to trust and talk (mind you Claire said they didn't even talked as kids). Carmy now has Marcus as a friend too. Sydneys friendship and approval the one thing he really keeps chasing. He wants to know about her apartment and her dad, he wants to comfort her while she is having a crisis. He wants to be for her the friend he never had growing up. In that same lane the girl that felt alone at her fathers house fell for the idea of having a real partner despite being terrified of being a burden to anybody.

That the girl that grew up with a father that told her constantly to ‘be realistic’ and slow down, would then fall in love with the only man that encourages her to go beyond her own self imposed limits, because he does believe in her that much.

That the girl that considers herself a waste of time and space would fell for the guy that worshipers the floor she walks in, that admires her as a person and a friend and would literally dedicate his time and the building he inherent to make sure she gets to live her dreams. And if he, the best chef in the world, sees the value on her, she might believe him.

That the girl who is very self-conscious of being observed is being loved by a guy that stares at her and creates dishes based on her clothes, but for every 10 times we see Carmy blatantly staring at her, Syd refuses to meet her gaze in almost all of them.

That the girl who feels guilty for a parent that cares too much and sacrificed so much is loved by a guy whose mother didn't care or considered him at all. One feels guilty for being cared for, the other feels unworthy of the little care they got. Uggghhh

That they are both trapped in the freeze response.

That the girl who tries to see the good in everyone is loved by the guy that blames himself for the bad he sees in others. But if Sydney is able to see the good in him, he might believe her.

That the guy who has been begging his whole life for a crumb of compassion would fell (and be terrified of) the first girl that felt compassion and care for him without him ever asking her too, without him ever telling her about his big sorrows.

That the guy that had lived his whole life under rules of abuse and coercion he just had to take, would be loved by the girl that would never hold his flaws against him (as some other vampires we know of) and prioritized his well-being over her everything.