my body is a machine that turns normal situations into psychological horror
- Double bookkeeping in Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorder: An empirical-phenomenological study
I've encountered many people with schizospectrum symptoms (including myself) who say therapy doesn't work for them, and usually after talking it becomes clear they lie to their therapist, make up problems to talk about, or go along with whatever their therapist's assesment of them is and suppress anything that doesn't fit. This is actually a problem common enough that it shows up in schizospectrum therapy research. It's worth stating explicitly you should be able to tell your therapist whatever youre feeling, even if that is
1. I feel nothing and have nothing to talk about
2. I hate you/think you're evil/think you're plotting again me
3. I think you hate me/think I'm evil/think I'm doing something bad
4. I think this isn't working and the things you tell me don't help me
5. Your analysis of what I'm going through is wrong
6. You're making me feel angry/sad/useless/stupid
7. I feel like you're secretly trying to communicate [x] to me because you said [y]
8. I've just been trying to guess what you want me to say and saying it
9. I'm suffering because of things I can only describe as otherworldly or spiritual or not of this world
Getting a trustworthy therapist can be difficult, and a bad therapist might react in a way that makes you feel like you can't do these things when you do say them. I always look for leftist therapists who will advocate for my rights as a patient and who are critical of police and institutionalization, and this advice is most relevant to people who are entering therapy consensually rather than under coercive, dangerous circumstances. A good therapist will want you to say these things and won't be upset or reject you, they'll just try to help with the issue.
