Whether you followed this blog for a few laughs, mutual interests, curiosity, entertainment, or any other reason that brought you joy even if it was just for one second.. thank you. This isn’t Zenjestrr writing, it’s his sister, Grace. Unfortunately Ivan passed away on August 16th, 2025. My life partner, my brother, my first and forever best friend is resting peacefully.
Ivan would always talk about the fun things he would see and all the friends he made/connected with on here. He was very chill and wasn’t a man of many words in real life unless it was something he was interested in. If someone started a conversation about animals or video games my god the boy could yap. He would talk my ear off about the shenanigans and drama that would happen on (as I would say) “video game side of tumblr” or (as he would say) “my corner of the internet”.
My brother was also a lover of art, music, history, science, animals. He played the French Horn growing up, which inspired me to also play the French Horn. What a blessing that we got to enjoy high school band together for one year. Whenever we would walk outside in the spicy Florida heat we would always say “this that band camp weather”. Ivan would eat everything in sight if he could and loved soda more than anyone I’ve ever met. A man that tried to save the planet one ant and one recycled bottle at a time. I’ve never met anyone more selfless and compassionate than him. The one and only person I could bully and will continue to banter with until my very own last breath here.
It took a while for me to get through his things but the one site I knew I NEEDED to log into/update was his tumblr. If you only spoke to Ivan once, hours on end, knew/hung out with him in person, chuckled at whatever nonsense or joke he said, or simply just liked a post he made/reblogged, just know he loved every second of the community he felt and made here. He loved every person he interacted with and met along the way.
I will not be deleting this account and will log on every once in a while so tumblr doesn’t delete it due to inactivity. If you have questions or honestly any memories with him, please message because I would love to read it. I think when my parents are ready, they would love to hear it too.
Please take care of yourselves, my friends. Life be life-ing sometimes, but enjoy it as much as you possibly can. Even if it’s the small things. Thanks for reading and if you have no idea who Ivan was because this was just a random blog you followed, he would just want you to enjoy the hell out of your hobbies and loved ones.
Would you time travel back and re-live the entirety of your high school years if it meant you could make different choices based on your current knowledge (within the reasonable confinements of still being perceived as a highschooler ofc)?
IMO, one of the most annoying consequences of people treating autism like it’s just quirky special interests and nothing else is that people will say “autism isn’t an excuse for [known symptom or common trait of autism, including actual diagnostic criteria]” with no irony.
I’ve seen “autism isn’t an excuse to be a picky eater,” “autism isn’t an excuse to struggle with tone/misread sarcasm in a post,” “autism isn’t an excuse to be bad at social cues” (with the comment of “literally just go out and learn by talking to people, it’s not that hard,” as if autistic people don’t already do that), “autism isn’t an excuse to not make eye contact, that’s so rude,” “autism isn’t an excuse to wear headphones in class or work, nobody else gets to do that,” and “autism isn’t an excuse to be unemployed/live with your parents/not leave the house enough” (wondering if this person has any idea HSN autistic people exist?). Some people here are like half a drink away from saying having flat affect is “literally weaponized incompetence!!!” or something. I’m starting to wonder what you people think autism even is. Because if you’ve found a way for autistic people to turn off the most basic symptoms (like sensory sensitivity or difficulty with social settings), that’s news and you need to share your incredible findings with the world immediately.
(Disclaimer in case one is necessary: I am not talking about assholes trying to use autism as an excuse for bigotry, like white tumblr users being racist about rap or musk’s nazi salute. I am talking about things that autism symptoms actually cause, including things that are completely harmless to others but are treated as problems simply because allistic people find them weird or annoying.)
It’s especially infuriating to me because the more autism comes to be understood through research, the more we’ve learned that radical acceptance and unmasking are crucial to autistic well-being. There is scientific evidence of the damage caused by ABA and masking. It is a major risk factor for the autistic suicide rate, which is fucking astronomically high.
So, society deciding, “No, we actually won’t make an effort to destigmatize autism. We won’t support autistic advocacy or systemic accomodations! Bc it’s totally just an excuse that should be handled on an individual level!!” is not only a slap in the face, it also runs contrary to all of the evidence of harm we have unearthed over the years. It’s truly a step backward.
ALT
ALT
