reubeam
trucyisright

my mother is playing pikmin and yelling at them in the exact tone of voice she uses for me and my siblings so we go into fight or flight every time. we thought initially that this meant she regarded the pikmin as akin to her children, but I now fear she’s always viewed us as pikmin

goldensunset

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hi your post reads like a poem to me

tbposting
kdinjenzen

you encounter a giant werewolf just outside while standing in your backyard... she's massive, her fangs glisten in the moonlight, her claws could tear through a car door in seconds, you wonder what will happen the moment she spots you...

you step back... a twig snaps under your foot, she's alerted to your presence and begins to give chase, you run as fast as you can back to your home every step feeling heavier and more panicked than the last...

you reach the backdoor to your home, you slide it open and slam it closed knowing fully that it won't stop her from bursting through...

she stops at the door... she sniffs the air, stares through the glass panes and into your eyes before sliding the door open, stepping into your home, and closing the door behind her...

her body is hunched over, as she touches the ceiling with her towering presence... she steps toward you, each thump of her paws feel louder than the last as she gets nearer, she gives a loud hearty sniff of your face as she bends further to get you within range...

and then... she speaks...

"Do you want to hear about my routing changes for the Milk All Cows% speedrun of Ocarina of Time?"

snowylynxx
insomniac-arrest

Depression is such an effective tranquilizer that it creates a great opportunity for plot twists in your real life. I have a pretty consistent opinion of myself which is "low" and "never ending guilt and shame for reasons I don't understand."

Recently received feedback from two different editing clients that started with "Please pass along to Jacquelynn that she is phenomenal at her job" and "I was blown away by the evaluation I received."

You always hear about how depression (and anxiety) lies to you and distorts reality, but there is logically knowing that and then there is like, physical proof of it and you are suddenly Neo in the Matrix jumping out of the fucked up little tube machine.

insomniac-arrest

Look, medication and therapy are essential, but I think we shouldn't underestimate this form of treatment

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(Source)

reubeam
kaity--did

We do not do elf of the shelf but our house does have borrowers. Penny knows that if she leaves a mess out at night the borrowers will take that as a sign that they can have it and take it into the walls to build their homes

This teaches her to out her stuff away at the end of the night or I chuck it out and also sometimes she wakes up and yells "HEY ELEVES I LEFT YOU SOME STUFF!" And it is hilarious

kaity--did

Penny: THE ELVES HAVE ONIONTIZED

My mom on FaceTime: ???

Me: I had to explain to Penny how the borrowers are part of the elf union and so they go to North Pole the last 3 weeks of the year so no one ever has to work too much over time and that's why they haven't taken mommy's wrapping paper or scissors or anything else I've left out... shes trying to explain the elf union to you.

Penny: THEY GET PAID EXTRA CAUSE OF THE ONION

adverbian

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kaity--did

I'm in tears 🤣🤣🤣