Spent

by Andrew Smith

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1.
If you stop trying to make me out, to be Jesus Christ You might see something different, maybe something you don’t like And if you stop trying to kick around at the dirt under your boot You might learn to follow, save yourself a new pair of shoes, But some days you must lose I haven’t been here in a couple of years, and boy did I miss this The feeling now of running scared on central nervousness There’s a vein that runs from my elbow, to the broad side of my wrist It's more pronounced when I am mad, it softens when we kiss It softens when we kiss The last time that I seen you, I was waving from the bus The headphones covering up my ears, were turned the whole way up I couldn’t hear you from the racket, no I couldn’t hear a sound Eight wheels turning fast, and a Greyhound homeward We’ll follow it down Now its summertime And soft drinks are a dollar again So we’ll go and get a mixture Mix it with some liquor And drink with all my very best friends It’s been a long night And I think I kinda miss you again So i’ll put on one of those classic old shows Listen to one liners while my eyes close And try to make amends, But I really hate friends (the tv show) It's easy now to picture how it all might have been like It’s easy to remember, easier to ignite If you stopped trying to make me out to be a figure of christ You might see something different, maybe something you don’t like Something you won't ever like
2.
Luna 03:03
If you win your fantasy baseball league Will it make you a better guy? Now your boss is giving you away You’re afraid to say, what you wanna say I won my fantasy baseball league Didn’t know what to do with the cash Wish I could go to a younger version of myself When I was earning money mowing the grass We could go halves on a flask We’d go party with that Now the smoke clouds blow over my house Sort of looking like a plane went down I’m sorry for disappointing you You know what I’ve been through But that doesn’t make it an excuse ‘Cause it makes it no easier on you Now the tops blowing off the trapeze And they’re just looking for all the little pieces I wasn’t helping - wasn’t even helping em She said her name was Luna, She’d been living in the clouds It's a long way down from there It’s a short stones throw from here That's a rock skip, jump from there It’s a short stones throw from there That's a rock skip, jump from here Almost easier, to go anywhere
3.
I got a stubborn way of gettin’ by Its that I can’t stop it as hard as I try Just keep the good times coming And I haven’t been well for most of the week I haven’t taken care of things that’ll take care of me You used to call me after the show If I called you now Would you pick up the phone? All the kisses on cheeks of the long forgotten streets, Wanna keep you close, But not close enough that they can entertain you All the absent dads they hardly get sad They just sit out back with something on the am They can sing along to Chorus: You used to call me after the show If I called you tonight Would you pick up the phone? It was early in the morning when I touched down Went to an all night casino and i spun my luck around On black, red, or green And I know you like to write about things You haven’t seen But I can’t help but write what makes sense to me Don't leave the front porch light on I was always one to miss all of my free throws I had a free choice I could go there, Or i could go it alone You used to call me after the show If I called you now Would you pick up the phone? You used to call me after the show If i called you tonight Would you pick up the phone?
4.
You must be great I think I like it ok And I think I liked you better when I didn’t know them I think I liked it better then You must be fine, If you’ve got em on time And I think I liked you better when I didn’t know the difference I think I liked you better then When you were younger, you were keen to change Now you are static and everything stays the same You still got those rock n roll records, you still comb your hair that way They tell you to be grateful but you don’t know for what these days It was just as well, If you gave it for free Cause your friends don’t wanna pay for the things you say Your friends are getting tired of that You must be great, I think I like it ok I think I liked you better when the mystery was still there You were sitting in class with your sleeves rolled up Trying to make what muscles you had look just like a gun The track behind your house runs all the while You could never make it feel like when you were young n wild You must be great, I think I like it that way And I think I liked you better when I didn’t know the difference I think I liked you better then
5.
Crime 04:26
It's a hard and dark road up through 5th district county Especially entrusting the light of the moon I can’t say they’ve seen us I’m sure we weren’t talkin I can’t say the windows were Letting much through The ‘chester was resting at the foot of the dog bed Where we stood and laughed and sung old english tunes The showtime was set and they’re steady falling As fresh as the sod grass laid down for a few Attempting a finding came ‘round our lunch break Line one - there’s a caller comin’ fast, comin’ through They moved through the dog state Can you hear them barking? I can’t say that I can, I can’t say I do Found himself a dress An old fashion getup Some perfume and lipstick, a wheel or two Had no clue she cared cause she weren’t much for gossip But you can’t stop a heart set on following through Had it all straightened out with a shotgun of bushmills Had it all straightened out with a beverage or two Had no clue he cared cause he weren’t much for talking But you can’t stop a heart when it's coming through Its a dusty dry road up through Lauderdale county Especially entrusting the light of the moon I can't say they’ve seen us I’m sure we weren’t talking I can’t say the windows were Letting much through I can’t say the same goes for me and you
6.
Dead Hornets 05:23
A dead hornet on the window sill Its as sticky as a toffee bar Got working AC in my car Thats why Ive been driving for hours I was a little bit younger than All my t-shirts were cool But i was driving listenin’ to August and Everything After like i was somebodies fool I wasnt anyones fool I guess I wasn't rushing the stage Now I aint really got nothing to fall on When I'm cornered and I’m acting afraid Everytime you come around I just can't get it out Cause you know I’ve been holding Part of me dont understand Why we had different plans But couldn’t see em fall through Baby, we couldn't see them fall through You’re as lucky as a change of wind I’m drifting further from the sand In an old narrow ship Needing of a life raft And I know we said forever babe Why would I think about that now? I don't think about it when I’m up Can’t help myself when I'm feeling down Everytime you come around I just can't get it out Cause you know I’ve been holding Part of me dont understand Why we had different plans But couldnt see em fall through Baby we couldnt see em fall through I like my ice cream on a sunny day I like my soup in the winter I like my love when it stays, don’t like when my love is hindered You said your falling deeper in debt I said I’m falling deeper for you ‘Cause there's never been a problem so big I couldn't find an answer too I’m not saying any my answers are right I wouldn't get 100% percent I don't think about my answers all night ‘Cause i cant make ‘em make any sense Everytime you come around I just can't get it out Cause you know I’ve been holding Part of me dont understand Why we had different plans But couldnt see em fall through Baby we couldnt see em fall through Imma thinking ‘bout that hornet now Where he comes from Where he goes I’m thinkin bout today, tonight I’m definitely not thinking about a long time ago
7.
Anytime Soon 02:00
You sit in the kitchen Bare feet rubbing off the ground You think you have taken it away It is lost, it can be found You think you’ve got a freeway But it is only a pigs path And the company you keep are dragging you down But it is hard to lose their grasp And on the topic of that Gets me wandering for love Gets me wondering what kind of drug I’m under But you’ve still got the memory of him Won’t be leaving anytime soon Won’t be leaving anytime soon
8.
I’m a little over zealous, From the cradle I’m afraid Some nights I come home wasted And act half my age I’m quick to take a monster that I’ve made But the good takes the bad these days You’re a strong stone I can tell it from your heart You got eyes that shine Like headlights in the dark Getting to me is like moving a parked car You keep on Pressing on the gas You - it’s always been you Wherever I’ve been Whatever I’m going through From my birthday candles a shooting star touching the moon I’m not over it The night that you met me Still blooms like a flower There’s a moon half full while We stumbled up Gower, An old punk band plays The late late hours To a room busy Filling up balloons My mind tells me things My heart don’t wanna believe I race like codeine And a fever dream A train’s only good Til the coals no more I know we’re burning For sure You - it’s always been you Wherever I’ve been Whatever I’m going through From a passing smile or a How do you do I’m not over it You - it’s always been you Picking me up when I’m feeling blue From a birthday candle Shooting start touching the moon I’m not over it The more we say the less it means So I think that I’ll just not say anything I dreamt all day and I raced all night Now my body is sore from keeping up with my mind I’m keeping up with my mind You - it’s always been you Picking me up when I’m feeling blue From a birthday candle Shooting start touching the moon I’m not over it You - it’s always been you Wherever I’ve been Whatever I’m going through From a passing smile or a How do you do I’m not over it I’m not over it
9.
On My Own 03:12
I get up, roll out of bed Heavy pockets, empty head Fully dragging on my psyche I might recover There's no use in fallin’ in You’ve never felt that close to him It’ll probably peak your interest It’ll make you wonder Holidays cast a different spell A chance for extra time in hell Like a play from a local writer But probably different She thinks she's made a grave mistake Could be timely, probably late A camaro and dude from LA Wouldn’t make it any better I know we shouldn’t bother Let's leave it alone But it's a different kind of fallback A first rodeo And I promised that I’d like it But what if I don’t? And it should probably feel alright But I know it won’t And your buddies on the corner He’s searching for drugs I see you on the sofa You’re searching for love Well I see him walking towards you And what do I do? Turn my back and let my glasses Blur out the room The plants are all dead now We didn’t give them love And the light ain’t coming through You’ve got garbage bag windows And I know I broke my promise I was never really good At sticking to it You know I never really could
10.
Suffice to say, I’m happy to stay And it’s not all that often I’m feeling this way When the sun breaks the clouds through your window pane, I was once ready for leaving Something hit me from low, or above In the 12th round Joe Lewis goes down with a punch And I had to let go a dream I once loved Of being crowned a champion The spines were bent but they couldn’t break Had a feeling for once, that I couldn’t fake Through the haze and the phase of industrial strength I was left holding my ransom And as handsome and hopeful as you could’ve been The earth stood still while we started to spin Up the hill from downtown where that August we’d swim Without diving for sea coins But later that fall we nearly drowned Lightning struck my bike, sent a shock through the ground We sat in the house when the power went down The rain fell on top us The rope tied, on the back line We’d found our bodies come decline You heard wind chimes of a divine On the back porch listening to Hard Times I was mad broke, telling bad jokes ‘Through an old jacket pocket to find a spare smoke I was coming through on a late one You were only in town for a weekend It was May 24th, we were out on the lawn We were laughing and drinking and listening to Ron The tires caught fire, the fire our friend We were telling old stories but not how they end

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released June 20, 2025

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Andrew Smith St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

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