1dietcokeinacan:

tiktoksgay:

You will not be prepared for this man’s voice. But you will be delighted

dementedgnomicwizard:

dementedgnomicwizard:

dementedgnomicwizard:

today at work this kid (ill call him Kid 1) was having snack w his friend (Kid 2) and kid2 had a kitkat bar. kid1 asked if he could have half and kid2 said no to which kid1 responded verbatim “Kid1 Has Banned Kid2 From Entering Heaven” and it startled me so badly i nearly started crying laughing

kids are the funniest people in the world when i worked at an elementary school during lunch one day the class unprompted started talking abt what they wanted to be when they grew up and this kid beckoned me over and was like

kid: when i grow up i want to be a cristopoper

me: a what?

kid: a cristopoper

me: i don’t think i know what that is!

kid: it’s a person who comes up with the names for different careers

me: oh, that—

kid: yeah, i just started my career. just now

me: oh my god

like he fucking got me. thats genius. thats a well constructed bit. he was 8

a few weeks ago a little girl told me she was going to her friend’s house and i asked what they were going to do and she said she didn’t know yet and i said they’d probably figure it out and have fun no matter what and she said “yeah. (pause) life is really a big mystery.” and i was like that is so true

98khj:

98khj:

Fun family story: when my aunt was marrying her wife everyone was really excited but also dreading it because my aunt is known for her insanely long speeches so everyone knew her vows would be like 9 hours long so when it came time for her to say her vows she had a shit ton of cue cards in her hands and even her wife started groaning and my aunt took a deep inhale and then unravelled all the cue cards which were taped together and they all just read ‘HOT DAMN’ in giant letters and those were my aunts vows.

And now since I officially have permission to use this photo

GET FUCKED

https-castiel:

wesblue:

tiredclemont:

catasters:

roseyrex:

r4cs0:

buggyeyes:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

Oh my god

joli–coeur:

for those who are struggling with having and finding purpose: maybe, for now, your purpose is waking up in the morning and taking on the day ahead. maybe your purpose is continuing to live despite it all.

everythingfox:

Perfect fit

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