I did it. I actually wrote the pre-canon Spanish Jackie/Ed smut. Everybody clap and cheer for me.
Title: An Island of Their Own Making
Additional Tags: Bisexual Blackbeard | Edward Teach, cunnilingus, hand jobs, love bites, smoking, Edward Teach Fancies a Fine Fabric
Ed gets to relax for the first time in months. He decides to spend some time with Spanish Jackie.
“Let this witty, moving, sometimes-beautiful, and sometimes-bloody adventure series restore your battle-weary heart.” Thanks for awarding OFMD a Greater Goodie award, which are given to stories that illustrate the best in humanity, Greater Good Science Center!
Yet another good reminder that even other Anglosphere authors have to basically arm-wrestle US book editors to be allowed to retain any vestige of their own dialect and culture in their writing and this is why lots of people have Opinions about American...everything.
YES!! I’ve been desperate for this kind of critical writing all season!! Fantastic analysis on the tone of the show (and books) as capital-r Romantic (aka Romanticism).
I wrote a little story about Tiny Ed Teach.
It’s very sweet, T rated and 1.4k words.
(Mind the tags for trauma flashback/panic)
In the mood for a sweet little modern AU? Ed and Stede have been dating for a while, and Ed's head-over-heels. Stede, an entomologist, has just scored them tickets to an interactive insect exhibit for their three-month anniversary, and he's super excited! Only problem? Ed sitll hasn't told him he's terrified of bugs.
This fic is 4.7k words, rated T, super sweet and so full of love.
Alright, I’m peddling some rare pair smut today, specifically this Zheng/Stede/Ed PWP that I’ve written.
It’s fun and sexy silliness, let me know if you enjoy 🥰
Ed had an idea. It was a little weird, and probably not the best idea for a very well-regarded artist who was at the whim of shareholders and a board, but. If he was going out, he might as well go out with a bang.
He straightened up the stack of flyers, grabbed one of his staple guns out of his workshop drawer, and set out down the street. He started in the immediate radius of the Walmart, tacking flyers up to light posts and bulletin boards.
COME WATCH ME EAT AN ENTIRE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
3rd NOVEMBER WILL BE THE 40TH CONSECUTIVE
DAY THAT I HAVE EATEN AN ENTIRE ROTISSERIE CHICKEN
12 0’CLOCK NOON
THE CHICKEN WILL BE CONSUMED ON THAT ABANDONED PIER BY WALMART
THIS IS NOT A PARTY
In a fit of boredom (and depression, let's be real) Ed finds himself on an abandoned pier by Walmart, eating a rotisserie chicken every single day. But it turns out after awhile that eating a rotisserie chicken every day can somehow feel like purpose.
Cue this kind of adorable blonde guy challenging to eat an entire Thanksgiving turkey.
This story started out really dumb and self-indulgent, but turned into 10k of extremely heartfelt fluff, positive body image related to weight gain, and a little bit of belly stuff if you're into that sort of thing.
Read it on ao3.
“Oh, you’re very tight today, Mr Teach.”
Rated E | 4,000 Words | Complete
gentlebeard massage roleplay, modern established relationship. they are not good at the roleplay, but they're very good at the relationship, and they have a handy bottle of astroglide massage lube to help.
i am NOT thinking about the fact that stede's idea of a scary story is a man that doesn't kiss because nobody likes him
A while back @veeagainsttheday and I had a late night conversation about the Man With a Hook for a Head and Pete's story-Blackbeard figures. We were also curious about Stede telling his story and being so invested in Pete's talent of Blackbeard, but also just being very silly: "Do you think smokehead blackbeard would kiss the man with a hook for a head? Could they love?"
But then Vee *answered* those questions, in fic form:
It's very tender and sweet. The man with smoke for a head likes the man with a hook for a head very much. 🪝💨🔥🥹
PS: I made a ridiculous fan art in reaponse; it's embedded in the fic now, lmao
