Someone did insider trading on the invasion of Venezuela.
I can’t believe none of the Geneva conventions thought to include war securities fraud as a war crime.
gameshow voice: is it gay subtext or are the writers just so catastrophically bad at writing female characters that the only relationships in the entire story that feel human are the ones between the men.
if i ever become a showrunner i will actually do the fake series finalle followed by the true ending where the popular gay ship is confirmed just so i can forever poison fandom with the idea that it can happen for real and then they will truly never let that hope go for all other subsequent shows they watch henceforth. just for the sake of making the world a worse place
deliriously ripping open the sexy fishnet tights of a beautiful woman named bag of mandarins
A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.
-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan
-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man
-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show
-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)
-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working
-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”
-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart
-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital
-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case
-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients
-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work
-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair
-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force
-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.
-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless
-“what time she was in the hospital?”
-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck
-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”
-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”
-“it would have killed her years ago”
-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”
-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office
-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”
-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”
I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read
So I follow N. D. Stevenson (comics writer and animator, most famous for Nimona and She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) and his husband Lee Ostertag (also a comics writer and animator) on Instagram. When I started following them, they were both publicly presenting as women, and then a few years ago N. D. came out as transmasc nonbinary, and then earlier this year Lee also came out as transmasc. Anyway this is all setup to say that Lee had the chance to make the funniest post of all time and he took it:
ALTI want to throw in that part of the context behind this meme was N.D. talking about how he sometimes gets hatemail for marrying a man as a former lesbian, and how many people seem to think he divorced his wife.
I have not managed to find anyone who thinks that in the wild, but it is so damn funny.
The person who reposted this here turned off reblogs, so I have to take over said post
scrub daddies should feel pain when you use them but in order to prevent a binary qualic state they should first be exposed to experiences such as regret, disappointment, joy, wonderment, etc so that the suffering is legible within a register of experiential meaning. this will make them clean dishes better.
