Subcutaneous fluids were only included in his treatment plan to torture him because I am so cruel. He knows this to be true.
Imagine you are making what you are sure is the scariest noise anyone in the entire world has ever heard and then the people on tumblr dot com make fun of you for it
reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore
FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.
Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot
Don’t you dare malign my girl again
Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently
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We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level
christmas is kind of like if for 1/6 of the year everyone got really into ska and started wearing the fedoras and checkered clothing and they only played ska music in stores that the employees clearly weren’t enjoying and everything was just ska themed for a while and one day someone eagerly asks you what ska you’re listening to and when you tell them you’re not doing the whole ska thing for the tenth time in a row its like a 50/50 chance that their face suddenly falls deathly serious and they say “are you one of those people who thinks all orphans should be drowned in boiling shit?” or they chuckle and squint at you and say “oh yeah you must be one of those people that listens to pop punk! Its kinda like a weird, different ska I guess! I am going to a ska concert later today if you wanna come along and see how awesome ska is, as enforced by the ephemeral force of enjoying ska instilled in all moral beings!” and this has been going on for so long that all the ska music is just people saying “pick it up” over and over again and plastering everything in checker patterns and theres a whole wave of people who think everyone has forgotten how to really enjoy ska but they actually just want an older version of the artificially enforced ska mania everyone is having and they made a book and several movies called “the man who did not like ska” about a disgusting evil spinach creature that hated everything and ate broken glass every day who learns basic empathy after hearing an upstrummed guitar for the first time.
knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.
and now all these other knights are coming around like “please let me serve you” and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade
Last night my wife had an edible after a long day at work and I went ‘did you hear about trump blowing bill clinton’ and she looked at me like this bc no, she did Not hear about trump blowing clinton
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