"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"
i don't mind being the villain in your story because you're a clown in mine.
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Any day now
people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody
my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.
Your monkeys ?
those aren’t mine.
My panties? Untwisted
“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection
“If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it, I should not mind a bit. but if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly. If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me, I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted so that I might share in what I was entitled to share. If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him, I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.”
Oscar Wilde
Tony Hawk’s Twitter is a gold mine honestly
We Stan this San Diego Man
this
C o m e d yy
Some recent gems:
And of course there’s
i’m wheezgJmf stoP
my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom
mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.
i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms
my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”
why do people think gender neutral bathrooms would have less privacy. i’d like to have ungendered restrooms with ceiling-to-floor walls and stall doors you can’t see over, under or between the cracks. i don’t want to and don’t need to know the gender of the person in the stall next to mine
i have a folder dedicated to "bad math memes" i made on mspaint in 2022. a friend of mine said tumblr would eat them up? but you know... i'll post one just to test the waters
ALTa lot of people have started begging and offering their lives to me to post the rest but im not convinced y—
ALToh oh ok hang on i gotta i need to go get my laptop gimme a hot second
not that i am against the concept of international trade nor do i think tariffs are based or whatever but what is interesting is seeing how much of the american reaction comes down to “but *i* dont want to work in a factory for pennies and *i* dont want my currency to be worthless and to have to pay one billion dollars for iphone” without even acknowledging your comfort depends on a global population who is forced to live under those exact conditions. right. like it or not, for the world to exist as it does, someone’s got to do it. someone’s got to mine the precious metals, someone’s got to forge the machine parts. someone’s got to ruin their body for slave wages, somewhere. the fact that you and i don’t is a result of winning a total genetic lottery and it is the exception not the norm and do what you want with that information but at least dont be callous