Guys should I get an ame chan/nso figure..? If so what websites do you recommend (also I live in Europe so the shipping better not be crazy)

Things about myself that surprise me:

˙⋆✮Im like a year clean, I want to go back to cutting so fucking bad but im scared

˙⋆✮I’ve never attempted suicide. I am suicidal but the thought of failing an attempt and becoming paralysed or something terrifies me

˙⋆✮ive never inflicted violence on anyone. So many people have hurt me but I dont even have the guts to fight back lmfao

˙⋆✮im almost 17 and no one has ever seemed me romantically. That’s probably because my parents keep me locked up in this fuckass house and im lowkey scared of going outside + idk how to talk to people😂✌️

˙⋆✮ive never touched a vape, alcohol or any substances. Not flexing at all its just that a good few of my friends drink and shit