youre a 911 fan......now it makes sense why all of your posts are absolute shit from a butt
Anonymous asked:
yesssssss exactly now youre getting it!!
GUY NEXT TO ME ON THE TRAIN TURNED TO ANOTHER PASSENGER AND ASKED “HAVE YOU WATCHED SUPERNATURAL”.
my problem is i want somebody to love me madly and lust for me greatly and nothing else will do. but i’m really annoying and not that hot
WE HAVE GOT TO START LOVING THE PROCESS MORE THAN THE PRODUCT AGAIN
oh god and we have 911 again this week? how is anyone supposed to live like this
For three days I've been battling this illness alone. A severe case of the flu has exhausted me; my weak body can't take it anymore. The cough won't subside, and my fever worsens day by day. I haven't slept a wink, not only because of the illness, but also because my bed is completely soaked with rainwater. I sleep on the cold floor, wet, shivering, and in pain.
I can't eat anymore. Every bite hurts; my throat is inflamed, and my stomach is empty. I went looking for medicine, something to ease this pain, but it was too expensive, so I returned empty-handed, suffering in silence.
The pain has become unbearable; I even wish for death. There's no rest at night, no medicine during the day, and I can't endure any longer. Every passing moment feels like my last. My only wish is that my voice reaches everyone who can help me by donating so I can buy medicine and repair our torn tent. Please donate and don't abandon us.
ALTThis image isn't just a fleeting news item; it's part of our daily reality in Gaza. While thousands of trucks loaded with tents, blankets, food, and medicine are held outside the Strip, prevented from entering by the Israeli occupation, we face a humanitarian catastrophe that worsens day by day. We die here every moment. We suffer constantly, and everyone ignores what we're going through.
I was injured more than 600 days ago. Shrapnel from the bombing of our house, while we were inside, is still embedded in my body. I'm still injured and unable to receive proper treatment because of the siege and the lack of medical supplies. The pain is constant, but what's worse than the pain is the feeling that we're forgotten and that everyone is ignoring what we're going through. We constantly ask for help, and everyone ignores us.
My family and I are very ill now due to the winter storm that began yesterday in Gaza. Because of this winter, we haven't been able to recover due to the lack of medicine and shelter from these recurring storms. Our tent is torn and leaking rainwater and cold air. Worse still, all our blankets and pillows are soaked. We urgently need to buy medicine and treatments, but they are very expensive because the occupation prevents the entry of medicine into Gaza. Therefore, we desperately need your help by donating so we can buy these medicines quickly. Please donate.
Worse still, I have a runny nose and severe sneezing. When I sneeze, it feels like the metal fragments (stuck in my body) are moving inside me, and I experience excruciating pain in the affected areas and my wounds. Please help me so I can buy my medication as soon as possible. Please donate.
(Saw a post about Eddie’s repression that got me thinking. Elaborating here rather than in the notes because this got long.)
Generally, I agree that there’s not much textual support in 9-1-1 for Eddie experiencing conscious internalized homophobia or active religious guilt re: homosexuality. His self-denial runs deeper than either of those things. It’s not that wanting men or sex (or sex with men) is bad—it’s that wanting, period, is bad.
That said, I don’t think we can fully separate Eddie’s repression from structural forces. Yes, his denial of his own needs is rooted in specific personal experiences and traumas (around Shannon, Christopher, and Kim). But Eddie’s interpretation of those experiences—and his conclusion that his desires make him selfish or dangerous—didn’t arise in a vacuum. His beliefs are inherited. They’re cultural. They come from his family, his Catholic upbringing, his military service, and the very specific model of masculinity he has been failing to live up to, to some degree, his entire life.
IMO, the show is reasonably explicit about this tension. Eddie has always existed in the space between the life his parents envisioned for him and the life he chose. Dating then marrying Shannon, enlisting when she got pregnant, moving to Los Angeles—all of it represented a negotiation between what Eddie actually wanted and what he believed he was supposed to do.
And this is where Eddie’s queerness becomes relevant: as one more aspect of himself he’s lost to the performance. The thing about desperately pretending to be something you’re not is that it doesn’t leave much room for self-inquiry. The mind is remarkably skilled at protecting itself from information that would be costly to process. When you’ve built your entire identity around the fulfillment of a role (or roles), questioning your desires becomes threatening to your current way of life. A blanket refusal to look inward can do a lot of work keeping that specific something unexamined.
tl;dr: I think both readings are true. Eddie’s repression is personal, but it’s shaped and reinforced by structural forces, creating a situation where he may genuinely not be able to see what he’s hiding from himself—because the entire framework he uses to understand his own life (including his traumas) was built in ways that keep certain possibilities out of view.