when you try to trick your insane child into doing more productive chores so they’ll take a break from seeking ways to enhance their ninja training… (I don’t think dirks buying it, but he’ll probably clean the whole house anyway - in record time while flash-stepping just to emphasise how inferior the task is.)
what did we do to deserve portal 2. that shit was so good and for what
we got to have this! we got to have a valve game set in the half life universe, and its an enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-again sci fi comedy story about a homicidal ai created to run tests forever and the test subject she catches feelings for!! how is this game real!!!
happy birthday to the only video game ever
people still clown in the notes of this post so reminder that glados was gonna take you on a date and accuse you of cheating. shes not chells mom
So we probably should’ve been a bit more worried about that weird guy with a sword at the last DashCon 2. For those unaware, Robespierre crashed the 2025 convention in an attempt to overthrow the monarchy and slay the Ballpit Queen. The newly knighted Sir Strange of Æons valiantly vanquished the interloper, but apparently her sword (Simone’s Dad’s Claymore, a.k.a. the Muppetslayer) only works on Muppets—Robespierre is back! His band of revolutionaries have now seized the bouncy castle. The clowns really don’t like how he’s chosen to redecorate.
While Sir Strange and the Ballpit Queen have successfully escaped Robespierre’s wrath, the future of the monarchy is uncertain. Robespierre has sworn revenge and is calling for Sir Strange’s execution on two charges of DashCon-spiracy, meanwhile, Strange has charged Robespierre with treachery and also being French.
As the only convention in southern Ontario with a guillotine permit, this puts us in a difficult position. The Muppet Joker’s tragic demise had an equally tragic effect on our insurance premiums, and we simply cannot afford more senseless bloodshed. Thankfully, laws often get overlooked in times of Revolution, and we’ve discovered that we’re allowed to commit crime if it’s a public service, as agreed upon by a democratic electorate. (You!)
As such, we’ve negotiated a tentative agreement between the two parties.
ALT
The Eight Tenets of the Royal-Revolutionary “Put The Sword Down” Agreement:
The 2026 convention’s theme of “Galaxy” has been toppled, overthrown by the revolutionaries and replaced with “Revolution!” (Galaxy is permitted to be used in a later year.)
The convention shall henceforth be referred to as DashCon 2: Vive La Révolution! as its official title.
The Ball Pit Queen shall not be executed (for now), but will have no legal power, instead being used as a figurehead in case an event needs a little pizzazz.
To appease our insurance overlords, the People (attendees of the convention) will be authorized to vote on who to kill. Each person will have only one vote, so cast it wisely—or don’t. We’re not cops.
For accessibility of voting, VirtualDash attendees will also be able to vote on who to kill.
The People shall choose between executing either Sir Strange, Lord of Æons, Wielder of the Muppetslayer and Honourable First Knight of the Realm… or Robespierre himself. Interesting.
He who is chosen to die will be executed via guillotine live on stage. (Robespierre was insistent.)
The severed head of the executed will be auctioned off for charity via raffle :)
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Vive la Révolution?
This message has been approved by Robespierre and his Band of Revolutionaries.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
SirStrange……………………………….Strange Æons. YouTuber and Tumblr historian. Robespierre……………………………..Xiran Jay Zhao. YouTuber and bestselling author of Iron Widow. The Ball Pit Queen…………….….Lochlan O’Neil. Raccoon biologist and founder of the original DashCon.
Mr. Beast is such a fascinating public figure cause he’s the only one who’s willing to outright say stuff like how his success came at the cost of his joy and human passions but when you look him in the eyes it’s clear that he doesn’t consider this a bad thing
Actually I’m not sure you can detect any core beliefs or emotions or even the will to live on Mr. Beast’s face, but that’s exactly the point. He appears completely content with being a brand instead of a human being
Honestly, the fact that terry Pratchett has experience around nuclear power makes so much sense once you realize what magic is standing as a metaphor for in the discworld. Like, look at this fucking quote from going postal:
“That’s why [magic] was left to wizards, who knew how to handle it safely. Not doing any magic at all was the chief task of wizards—not "not doing magic” because they couldn’t do magic, but not doing magic when they could do and didn’t. Any ignorant fool can fail to turn someone else into a frog. You have to be clever to refrain from doing it when you knew how easy it was. There were places in the world commemorating those times when wizards hadn’t been quite as clever as that, and on many of them the grass would never grow again.“
Like… It feels incredibly obvious what he’s talking about once you know the context.
ALT
