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Live, but not without care.
5 months ago
General
For years, I've worked myself to exhaustion to keep myself afloat and perhaps afford a few luxuries,
but most of the time ended up wasting most of the extra income in impulsive or stress eating instead of even paying off debts, as originally planned.For years, I've had a pretty decent healthcare plan that covered pretty much all of my basic needs,
yet kept neglecting myself because no signs of anything were ever perceived.For years, I have joked to myself and to coworkers on how I was yet to make proper use of said plan to even undergo exams and preventive care.
We feel quite invincible when we're young, it might feel refreshing and empowering to manage to keep plowing through all the bullshit of life,
but sooner or later, the built up neglect catches up to us.
And it's in that perceived power that lies the silent fragility of self neglect.
Trust me, it will NOT be gentle when it comes to bite you in the ass.A few months ago, I was hospitalized quite urgently for a period of ten days, during which I was told multiple times that I was lucky to even have come back.
Pneumonia led to multiple consecutive seizures, which I had went for virtually my entire life without, save for head trauma when I was too young to even have any memories.
A brief ICU stay later led to the discovery of a few more conditions: at least a temporary evolution of an existing pre-diabetic state to full on diabetes, skyrocketing hypertension which I never had in my life (quite the opposite, in fact), and a sneaky urinary tract infection.
I remember hallucinating, being bound to a hospital bed, begging for water, sometimes more often in English than in Portuguese, so weirdly high off of medications I was.
I will never forget the first time I could feel my heart racing under stress under these last few weeks... Man, anxiety can be scary. To think I was 'unable to feel' something that was potentially affecting my blood pressure so much is quite terrifying. A perspective shift and being showed how close I could have been to an actual heart attack is... Well, it's VERY scary.
Still recovering to this day, immune system quite weak and getting sick more easily, but still here. Still powering through, and I will not go down easily.Please, do not repeat my mistakes. Don't hesitate to keep your health in check, as much as you can.
It's always more expensive to remedy than to prevent. And for the love of everything that is holy, EXERCISE YOUR BODY AND MIND.
BlitztheDragon
~blitzthedragon
Good grief man. I know you hinted at a rough time on and off for the past long while, but I didn't know just how bad things got with your health. You're indeed lucky to be alive. Wishing you all the best in your road to recovery.
