I need a fic where Lancelot gets hit by a curse that makes him extremely honest/completely removes his thought to speech filter.
Like, he doesn’t blurt secrets but he’s got no sense of fear for saying things he probably shouldn’t and just starts saying all the quiet parts out loud.
Merlin’s immediately worried about him. I kinda imagine it like:
Merlin: Do you think you’ll say anything about..?
Lance: your secret? No. Definitely not. It’s your secret to tell. Arthur should know how much you do for him even without it though. You should remind him you’re not obligated to do so much if he keeps taking advantage of your kindness.
Merlin: That…
Lance: I clearly mean it. It’s your choice of course. You know I love you too much to betray your trust.
(I’m a sucker for Mercelot but take that however you want)
Then when they all get back to Camelot and one of the towns people is struggling to fix a cart with a broken wheel.
Lance *goes over to help and starts berating the knights*: we’re knights. We’re supposed to help people. If you just want to beat people up, we’ve run into plenty of bandits that would probably take you.
And we all know he doesn’t like the structure of statuses and how power is distributed in Camelot so while he’s still respectful to Arthur as a king, the rest of the lords not so much. He avoids them as much as possible to avoid causing unnecessary problems but when Arthur asks if he’ll be at a council meeting, he’s gotta say no:
Lance: I don’t think that’d be a good idea.
Arthur: why not? I could use someone honest on the council.
Lance: I am honest with you. Mostly. You definitely shouldn’t ask what I think about magic until I can be tactful about my answer. But If I get a chance to be honest in the same room as Lord NoName I’m going to ask him if he doesn’t want to pay taxes because too much of his coin already goes to his mistresses and his wife will find out if he’s forced to document it.
Arthur: …
Lance: …
Arthur: … I don’t know which part to focus on first. If Lord NoName isn’t there will you attend?
Lance: he’s not the only one. Personally, I think they should hear it, but I don’t want to be callous about it. Their wives deserve better and forcing them to find out through gossip and rumours just seems unnecessarily cruel.
Arthur: I’ll call a round table meeting later.
Lance: Probably for the best. You should give Merlin a seat, he’s braver and has done more for you than anyone. I’ll see you later, sire.
I can imagine the magic thing would keep coming up too, just little comments about how he’s frustrated that he’ll be used as an example for why magic should be banned when it’s not all bad and can actually be quite amazing.
Everyone’s confused but he just asks Leon if he likes being alive because he wouldn’t be without the Druids and the cup of life.
Heaven forbid anyone says anything bad about Merlin. He never out’s Merlin’s secret as promised, but he absolutely makes sure everyone is aware how much Merlin does for people out of the goodness of his heart.
I also want him to shit on Uther at some point. About his parenting style or how he ruled Camelot, I don’t mind which.
I imagine someone mentioning how well Lance is handling the curse and “taking it like a man” and getting immediately shot down.
Noble: he’s handling it well, taking it like a man.
Lancelot: Hypocritical coming from you, Lord He-Payed-Less-Than-I-Did-Even-Though-It-was-Proportional-To-Everything-Else. (I don’t pretend to understand how a fictional court set in about 5 different historical eras is run) Actually, not complaining about a situation that sucks isn’t a manly trait at all. All of the problems we’re dealing with are because something happened and someone “took it like a man.” Tax evasion, wars, uneven distribution of wealth, *putting reports on the table for each one* The last time someone “took it like a man” we ended up with an entire people being murdered because a king fucked up, lost his wife, and didn’t want to admit fault and grieve like a sane person.
Everyone’s just silent for a moment.
Lance: … *thinks about what he said for a second*
Lance: No, I stand by that. I’ll apologise for my lack of tact, but not the content.
Meanwhile, watching in horror and barely contained glee:
Arthur: Should have let him sit this one out.
Merlin: Absolutely not. This might become the most productive council meeting we’ve had in years.
Anyway, I just want Lance being able to lean more into the unhinged side of his character sometimes.
He’s still got to fundamentally be a good person, he’s just less filtered in watching the casual stupidity of the nobles, or more honest about people not thanking servants enough (especially to the knights who seemed to forget that they were once common born too) and isn’t afraid to call people on their bullshit when necessary.
Everyone learns to appreciate it too so when the spell wears off, he’s less anxious about giving his opinions on things.
Just let Lancelot be the unfiltered chaotic good that he is.
