Sometimes I write stuff

nonidol!SF9 AU
Taeyang x famous!reader
[she/her pronouns used for reader]
sometimes you fall for someone you know you’ll never meet
but what would happen if you did meet them?
[fluff, conflict, slight angst]
word count: 2668

a/n: This is the last chapter! I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it! There might be little drabbles later on, but for now I’m done with this au. Thanks to everyone who’s read this fic all the way through, I really appreciate it!

[chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [chapter 4] [chapter 5] [chapter 6] [chapter 7]

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, Taeyang had decided, was not true. For him, distance just made his heart grow sadder. He was sprawled on the couch, much like he had many months before when he had yet to meet Y/N. But now instead of looking at pictures of her, he was scrolling through past conversations with her, thinking back on all the happy moments the two had shared.

More recent conversations, however, did not give him the same feeling of happiness. While he still enjoyed every time he talked to her, their talks were often cut short due to Y/N’s busy schedule and exhaustion because of her busy schedule. Taeyang missed the days when he would wake up early just to have more time to talk to her, now even if he did wake up early, she was usually busy during that time.

He let out a long sigh, trying to release the sadness pent up in his body, but it didn’t help. He missed her, and nothing seemed to help take his mind off of it. Missing Y/N had begun to weigh him down, the months since he had last seen her becoming more and more difficult.

While he hoped that she missed him just as much, Taeyang wondered if she was too busy to really miss him. And maybe that wasn’t fair of him to think, but that didn’t stop him from thinking it. And, he also wondered, what her missing him would do. Would it make him feel better, knowing that she was suffering the way he was? Or would it make him feel worse, knowing that she was hurting and there was nothing he could do about it?

He couldn’t bring himself to ask her, worrying that the conversation would hurt more than it would help. All he knew was that she told him that she missed him. And so he simply believed that she did, and tried to keep his sighing to a minimum.

During their time apart, while Y/N was still busy touring, the couple’s six-month anniversary came around. They had talked about the day in advance, and she had promised to take the day off from working to spend time with Taeyang.

Waiting impatiently for her call he sat on his bed. Since most of his roommates were out at the moment, this made for a decently private spot to talk with Y/N. As time passed Taeyang began to worry, the time she was supposed to call him had already come and gone. He kept glancing at the time on his phone and checking for messages, not paying attention to anything else around him.

After what felt like hours, although according to his phone it hadn’t been nearly that long, he sent her a message asking if she was okay. No response. Not even a quick, “talk to you later,” or “sorry, busy.” He got nothing. Several hours later, after he had given up and started to busy himself with chores around the apartment, she called him. Never before had Taeyang answered a call as quickly as he did in that moment.

“Y/N?” He asked into the phone.

She hadn’t enabled video call, so he couldn’t see her face, but her voice was laced with tiredness. “Yeah, Taeyang, sorry for taking so long.”

“No,” he was quick to say, “you’re fine.” But as much as he wouldn’t admit it, he didn’t think it was fine at all.

“I really am sorry though,” Y/N said with a heavy sigh, “I know I said I wouldn’t do anything today, but there was an issue with the preparations for the next concert and my management decided to drag me into it. But I can talk now.”

Trying to look on the positive side of things Taeyang sounded as happy as he could, “Well, what matters is that you’re here now. Happy anniversary, Y/N!”

“Happy anniversary, Taeyang. I know these past months have been hard, but I’m really happy to have you in my life.” While she still sounded tired, there was sincerity in her voice, and it helped him feel better than he thought words could have.

“I feel the same way Y/N, you really are special to me. And,” he hesitated to add more, but before he could overthink his words he said, “I miss you so much.”

A sigh could be heard from the phone before Y/N spoke again. “I miss you too.”

“Do you know when you’ll be able to come visit again?” Taeyang asked, his voice cautious but hopeful, wishing that she would say soon.

Another sigh from Y/N. Taeyang was becoming worried about how tired she was, it wasn’t often he heard her sigh this much. “Honestly, it’s still going to be another two months until I’m able to take time to come to Korea. There’s still a lot I need to do here, and I can’t cut anything short. I wish I could, really I do, but it’s not that easy, especially with all the work that goes into a tour.”

He tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but he wasn’t successful. “Oh.”

“I know, Taeyang. I wish it wasn’t like this, but this is an important part of my career. And as much as I care about you, I also have a duty to all my fans that support me and already bought their tickets. I have a small break in touring, but it’s for interviews, and then the tour keeps going.” While Y/N did truly sound like she wasn’t happy with the way things were, it was hard to for him to not feel a little frustrated about the whole thing.

“I see,” he said, bitterness starting to creep into his tone. “I guess I just won’t see you for a while then. I’ll just be here in Korea, while you’re off being busy with your career.”

“I warned you, didn’t I?” Y/N’s voice through the phone sounded sad and distant, “that being in a relationship like this would be hard. You know how much my singing means to me, and how busy my life can get. But you were so sure. Are you still sure now?” The sadness in her voice nearly broke his heart.

Taeyang wished so desperately he could reach out and hold her, but there was an ocean between the two of them, separating them, and causing so much pain. And even if he was close enough to hold her, he wasn’t sure if she would let him with the frustrations between them right now.

But he had to try his best to salvage the situation. “Yes, I am!” His words tumbled out quickly, “I miss you, a lot, but I know that your career is important to you, I just wish I could see you more. It hurts not seeing you, not being able to be near you.”

“It hurts me too, it really does. But right now, I feel like you’re trying to make me choose between you and my career, and that’s not helping anything.” Her next words were cautious, as if she wasn’t sure how he would respond to them. “You know, you could come visit me.”

“What?” Taeyang asked, once again not sure what to say. Visit her?

Her voice was defensive as she responded, “Yeah, why not? I’ve visited Korea a lot, why not come visit me? You could see what it’s like when I’m on tour and we could have some time together in person. It could be nice.”

“I guess,” he said slowly, “that just seems like a lot. I mean, I might get in the way. And we haven’t talked yet about making our relationship public. We’d have a lot less privacy then we do when we’re in Korea.”

“Are you saying that you don’t want to see me?” Her tone had gone from defensive to almost accusatory as she continued, her tiredness making her more on edge than she might have been otherwise. “I thought you missed me. And I don’t care if our relationship gets found out at this point. I care so much about you Taeyang, and I miss you so much. At least think about it, please.”

Now it was Taeyang’s turn to sigh, “I do miss you. But this just seems like a lot. I’ll think about it, but I just don’t know.”

When Y/N spoke, her voice was soft, but there was an edge to it that he hadn’t heard since she’d found out that he was a fan of hers. “Thanks for at least thinking about it. I should go now, this conversation is unlikely to go anywhere pleasant at this point and I have things to do. I really do care about you Taeyang.”

As soon as she had finished speaking Y/N hung up, not even giving him a chance to say goodbye. Taeyang simply sat there on his bed, a million different thoughts whirling around in his mind, and a pain in his heart that wasn’t going away anytime soon.

After a lot of thinking, and debating, and wondering, Taeyang came to a decision. It might not have been the perfect one, but it seemed like the best one for now. With his thoughts in order he scheduled a time that worked for both himself and Y/N, so they could talk things through, this time on a video call.

As he connected, Taeyang was greeted by the sight of her face, just as beautiful as he always thought it was. He smiled brightly. Despite the seriousness of the call, he was happy to see her. “Hi, Y/N!” He said.

Brushing her hair behind her ear she smiled back, although it was a soft and quiet smile, not nearly as sunny as his. She looked a little tired, but still happy to see him. “Hi, Taeyang. It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too! Are you doing okay? I hope you’ve been able to rest!” He said quickly, concern in his eyes.

She shrugged, “I’m fine, I’ve been getting some rest. Not as much as I’d like, but enough to keep me going.” Letting out a sigh, she kept talking, “Let’s get to the reason for this call, what are your thoughts on coming to visit me while I’m on tour?”

Taeyang took a deep breath. “Y/N, I love you. I really do. And I care about you more than anyone else in the world. But despite that, I don’t feel ready for something as big as visiting you in the US. There would be a lot more people around than when we’re together in Korea. And I want us to be a couple a little longer before we make our relationship public.”

Y/N looked like she wanted to say something, but she waited until he was finished speaking. “That’ll be a really big step, and it could easily change everything, so I want to make sure I’m really ready for that, and I want you to make sure you’re really ready for that as well.”

“And, honestly, as hard as it is to admit it,” he said, taking a moment to pause before he continued, “the idea of people knowing about our relationship scares me. You might be used to being in the public eye, but I’m not, and having the public know about us could lead to some trouble. I want to make sure we’re both ready, so when we do go public it doesn’t affect our relationship. I care about you far too much to do intentionally anything that might put us as a couple in danger.”

Having finished what he wanted to say, Taeyang fell quiet, waiting to see what her response would be. It took a few minutes for Y/N to respond, and he could tell that she had really thought about what he had said.

After what felt like forever, she spoke. “I understand Taeyang. I might not agree completely, but I understand. And I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable about our relationship or worry, so I’ll respect your wishes and not push you about visiting me.”

“But,” she added, “I do want you to come visit me when you’re ready. I want to show you my favorite places, the things I like, the places I know. And I want you to meet my friends and family. All of them that know about us really do want to meet you. I love you too, Taeyang. Thank you for being honest with me.”

It took time for things to be truly mended between Y/N and Taeyang, even after their honest conversation, but through discussing issues when they came up, and as many video calls as her busy schedule could allow, they came to a better place in their relationship. They even talked more about him visiting her, discussing it as a future plan that would happen when they were both ready.

Things weren’t always easy, but together they found ways to make things work. As time went on, they became a loving couple that could work through anything that came their way.

Taeyang gripped the flower bouquet in one hand, holding it tightly while also trying to make sure he didn’t hurt the flowers. It didn’t matter that he’d been dating Y/N for a while now, sometimes he still felt just as nervous as he had on their first date. And today was special, so he had a reason to be nervous. Today, the couple was celebrating their one-year anniversary.

While sometimes their relationship was hard to maintain, he was so glad to be with her. And getting a chance to celebrate their relationship filled him with excitement. This mix of nervous and excited energy made him a little jumpy.

They were meeting at the park, a place with many wonderful memories for them. A lot of things had happened at this particular park, so it had a special place in the hearts of both Taeyang and Y/N. As he stood there waiting, a voice called out, “Taeyang!” and he turned to see Y/N coming towards him.

Every time he saw her, Taeyang was blown away by how beautiful she was, and this was no exception. She had dressed up, wearing clothes still in her usual style, but a bit fancier than he was used to seeing. Their eyes met, and Y/N’s face lit up with a smile that made his heart melt.

Before he lost all his speaking ability, he held the bouquet out to her, his eyes looking at the ground. As he spoke, his cheeks reddened, “These are for you, happy anniversary, Y/N.”

Beaming with delight, she took the flowers, holding them close to her face as she inspected them. “They’re so pretty, thank you so much, Taeyang!” Leaning in close, she reached up and kissed his cheek, giggling as he looked at her, now very flustered. “You even included my favorite flower.”

“Oh, um, you’re welcome.” He managed to say, wincing at how awkward his words sounded, his cheeks still red. He breathed deeply, trying to regain his composure. “How could I give you a bouquet that didn’t have your favorite?” He asked, smiling softly at her.

Now it was her turn to be flustered, the love in Taeyang’s eyes as he smiled at her was almost overwhelming. For Y/N, there was something truly special about his eyes, she thought they were so pretty, and so to have him looking at her like that, with his smile so soft and warm, was a lot to take in.

Once both of them had recovered, they started walking around the park, enjoying each other’s company as they had many times before. Part way through their walk Taeyang reached out for Y/N’s hand, and she let him take it. As he walked with her hand in hand, he knew that nowhere made him feel as at home as he did when Y/N was at his side.

The End