The chewerrrrrrs

Sound ON

Sam Winchester is caught and arrested for illegally burying his brother in a cops of trees next to a road. The poor bastard looks like he’s been shredded - his insides are slop. Though they never find the knife, Sam is charged with Dean’s murder. Given the extensive FBI file on the Winchesters, no one questions it was him.

Sam cracks and starts raving about demons and hell hounds and resurrection and Lilith. The police think he’s angling for an insanity plea. An MRI proves he has extensive brain damage from multiple contusions across multiple years, maybe his whole life. His lawyer presents it as evidence that he genuinely wasn’t in control of his actions.

Sam is locked up in a facility for the criminally insane - in control of his actions or not, he can’t be trusted out in the public. There, he tells anyone he can his story - about monsters and demon blood and the family business. A security guard named Cas is rude and judgmental but seems captivated by tales of Dean Winchester. A brunet nurse who looks nothing like his ex, Ruby, yet shares her name becomes the focus of his obsession for a while; Sam is convinced she’s the key to him getting out of there so he can get revenge for his brother’s death. His uncle, Bobby, visits him some times for the first few years until Sam tries to kill him. Sam loses visitation privileges after that and is convinced Bobby died trying to save the world.

Everyone knows Sam Winchester as the big guy who butchered his brother and talks to hallucinations of Lucifer. But staff and other criminals in the facility fear him. Even when he’s trying to be nice and gentle he looms, threatening. Dangerous.

it’s fine—I turned it off and started trying to fish out the bay leaf bits with a fork

okay actually though. How bad is it really to have bay leaf in there?? looking it up

Okay so it’s Not Ideal but I’m just gonna blend it more and Deal With It

fuck.

I’m giving the swiffer a 4/10 rating for its ability to clean ceilings btw

DO NOT

Wait. An understanding that you turned the blender back on with the fork still inside?

i have adhd, your honor

I’ll respect inattentive adhd’ing over intentional dumbassery any day.

At least you didn’t look your coworkers dead in the eye, say “It’s fine, I’ll be careful”, then stick your bare hand in the blender while it’s still plugged in to try to fish out what was jamming the blade.

My brother nearly lost his thumb that way because, surprise!, dislodging the jam let the blade start spinning again. Insert gasp meme here ->

And now I fear blenders in the same manor as logging trucks.

Woobified Obi-Wan Kenobi

Interesting how the transfeminine version got marked mature literally *as* I posted it, very clearly hitting some sort of automated filter, while the cis version was untouched by the filter even though it was otherwise identical

Everyone say bless you to dunmertitty’s cat right fucking now!!!!!!!

“rime-grit latitudes” that whole sentence is poetry