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#oh shitMore you might like
Love LITERALLY every post about how bad the casting for the new Mario movie includes a sidebar about “this does not apply to Jack Black, who is amazing and we’re all thrilled he’s here”
girl what the fuck is even the theme of a midsummer night’s dream. is there even a lesson to be learned. is it just vibes or what
puck at the end of the play: god did you see that shit? insane, right? haha alright take it easy
for my fellow psychotics who struggle with thinking someone is in their house, a method I’ve found that really works are these guys:
i put them on my front door and anytime it opens they ring. that way if i think someone has broken in or i see someone who isn’t there i can think back to if the bells have rung, and if they haven’t i can assure myself it’s not real. obviously it’s not fool proof, like if you are prone to auditory hallucinations, but it has really helped me calm down in time to avoid major psychotic breaks. it’s a real lifesaver
nonpsychotics encouraged to rb
a similar thing that’s been great for me?
[ID: an adjustable door security bar. the bar is white metal with notches to adjust the length, one end is a square black plastic foot on the ground and the other is a curved black piece of plastic that rests below the doorknob. /end ID]
door security bars are pretty inexpensive (I got mine at target for like $25, but they also sell them at home depot, lowes, lots of places like that) & it has helped my paranoia so much since moving into my new place bc I can just. look at the door, & if the bar’s still there, I know no one has been in.
seconded, these are great! i have one for my bedroom, helps so much when sleeping
Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?
Genie: um
Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.
Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....
Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.
Genie, just staring at me
Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.
people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil
the only reason #cottagecore is considered a gen z thing is bc its a hashtag. it used to be called transcendentalism when offline men did it
Henry David Thoreau having all of his meals sent to him and laundry done while patting himself on the back for being such a back-to-the-land individualist: #simpleliving #aesthetic #waldenpond #cottagecore
thoreau over here like i live on my friend’s land for no rent and my mommy comes by to do my washing and bring me food and i regularly have gatherings of upwards of a dozen people in my tiny shitty cabin and many days i walk the mile to town to see my friends and the other townspeople, only some of who hate me for burning down 300 acres of woods that didn’t belong to my friend and that i feel totally chill about having burnt because who OWNS the woods, really? i mean other than my friend emerson, in whose woods i am living. anyhow i truly live the most constrained and ascetic of existences; if only all men would realise that they’re frittering their lives away in the details of the washing and the bills and the need to feed oneself or care about other people in any way
thoreau’s mother and sister and also ralph waldo emerson: really :/
also thoreau: hi my name is henry david woodsman isolationist thoreau and i have short, tree-brown hair and a bushy neckbeard and grey-blue eyes like the sky and the rivers and a lot of people tell me i think a lot like ralph waldo emerson (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). i’m not related to margaret fuller but i wish i was because she’s a major fucking genius. i’m a transcendentalist (in case you couldn’t tell) and i wear mostly practical clothing. i love old clothes and having my mother mend things for me instead of buying new. for example today i was wearing my patched jacket and trousers, and a hat and shoes. i was walking outside concord. it was storming so there was no sun, which i was very happy about, because i love brute nature. a lot of people shouted ‘woods burner’ at me. i put up my middle finger at them.
Ok def was not expecting this level of relatability
*submits this to the library of congress as a culturally, historically or aesthetically significant film*














