1. |
Bored
03:30
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Pray to the lamppost, ‘Hey, how ya doing?’
Are these the few words that will turn you on?
At least I can have a decent conversation,
Wash my back in the train station,
I’m bored.
So bored.
I think I’ll go there.
No. I will go that-a-way.
Rocking my chair in the middle of nowhere,
But all the tuned strings are torn,
Gonna get high with my asthmatic inhaler,
Picking my teeth for loose corn,
Well I’m bored.
Soooooo bored.
I think I could die.
Ok… I’ll live another day.
Lick a toad from head to toe(d)
But it wouldn’t return the favour,
Dig a moat around my house,
Out to rent an alligator,
Cardboard castles,
Cushion forts,
Candy wrappers for my drawbridge,
Yeah I’m happy so happy and yet somehow I am still… BORED.
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2. |
Handkerchief
03:38
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I’ve got a handkerchief in my nose,
I’ve got a handkerchief in my nose,
I’ve got a handkerchief in my nose,
And it’s alright,
I’ve got a handkerchief in my face,
I’ve got a handkerchief in my eyeball,
I’ve got a handkerchief in my teeth,
And it’s alright,
Walkin’ round
Feeling so flipping special I could die
WIth nothin’ on my face
Everything’s good and everything’s on my bone
And your mother walks away she doesn’t even know that everything’s on her face
And everytime she looks [nose blow]
Yeah gribaniss on your nose,
Your nose, your nose,
Your nose your nose your nose, [Atchoo!]
Your nose, your nose,
Your nose your nose your nose, [Atchoo!]
Your nose, your nose,
Your nose your nose your nose, [Atchoo!]
Your nose, your nose,
Your nose your nose your nose. [Atchoo!]
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3. |
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4. |
Alfred
04:17
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He sits in his room
And calls himself Alfred
Occasionally too,
He makes his dog play dead,
Please do not disturb
I walk in our room
And he’s lying in bed
Concentrating hard
And still calling himself Alfred
Yeah it makes me wanna cry
Makes me wanna cry
I offer him food (food!)
An egg from the hen (hen!)
But when I call him Ben
He throws it back up again,
And he’s back to his Alfred anew,
Back to his bullshit anew
What to do with a man with an attitude?
How can I clean up more of his thrown up food?
When will this bald rebel give up cos
I’m just fed up of hearing that goddamn name…!
‘Me Alfred… Me Alfred… Me Alfred…’
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5. |
Rooster
02:10
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Xmas is getting earlier and earlier
Every bloody year it’s driving me potty
The most awaited bollocks ‘Fifty percent (off), everything must go’
Half the population is queueing for the lottery
But everything’s good and everything’s fine
Cos she got me a rooster
I wake up in the morning sneezing and a wheezing from the feathers in my pillow I’ve been ripped off
My nose don’t mate well with the chickens and turkeys but my lady’s got me something that’ll make my nose a-nice and clear
But everything’s good and everything’s fine
Cos she got me a rooster
Sing it loud and sing it clear
Sing it like a rooster would
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6. |
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Once we’d wake up in the morning,
With sleep-dust in our eyes
Once our tongues would have tongue cravings,
And we’d feed’em crusty pies
We’re not ones for nostalgic feelings,
But sometimes we can’t help singing:
We wanna get heads,
We want our heads,
We’re going mad,
Without a head,
It’s hard to get ahead,
In this headless band.
I miss brushing my teeth
I miss shaving my beard
I miss blowing nose
I miss cleaning my ears
Yeah everybody sing
We wanna get heads,
We want our heads,
We’re going mad,
Without a head,
It’s hard to get ahead,
In this headless band.
The one headed man is king in the headless land yeah
And if our heads could speak and express themselves
They’d take the microphone in their hand and sing
We wanna get fed
We wanna get fed
We want it now
Please put some bread inside this head
We miss our chow
We wanna get heads,
We want our heads,
We’re going mad,
Without a head,
It’s hard to get ahead,
In this headless band.
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7. |
Cucumber's Revenge
02:25
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8. |
Acid Circus
03:00
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The drunken dwarf squirts some LSD from his fake flower,
The monkeys are playing little naughty games in the shower,
The manager screams, ‘We’re going on the air!’
(‘Flying through the air!’)
But they don’t seem to care…
The beer is hidden in the magic box,
You won’t get high from sniffing in the showgirl’s last week socks,
The elephants are stamping on the grass,
The juggler’s got the balls to make a pass,
Everybody’s laughing as the tiger’s smoke the hay,
Nothing really matters to the girls who fly away,
Oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh woohoo
Oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh woohoo
The drunken dwarf is sobering up,
The drunken dwarf is sobering down,
The drunken dwarf is sobering sideways,
The drunken dwarf is sobering no ways,
‘No ways…’
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9. |
The Unique Eunuch
05:52
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Two hundred women
Going up one by
One to the dead man
Painted in blue
Erection defection
A surgeon’s selection
An impotent dead man
Stood up anew
A mother’s dream it does not achieve a resolution
Due to the fact that in life revolves a revolution
Maybe you’ll probably see the truth of circumcision
At times an operation can be the best solution
His voice is higher than a scraper, scraper, scraper, scraper!
You’ll see his face in every paper, paper (even toilet paper!)
But that’s not all folks! No way!
They didn’t call him the Unique Eunuch for nothing you know!
You know I heard on the wireless a while ago:
‘What about his sense of grapes and being able to crunch roaches with his barefoot and also his head? Yeah.’
Some say he got it from his father, father, unknown father,
Although they say it’s from a guru, guru, up from Budapest,
But the press they shoved him away-
It all happened when they found out that Unique had lost all usage of his voice, yeah!
(Check it out)
(This is the next part of the story, yo)
Well, he went up to the doctor,
He said, ‘Hey doc, I need my balls again,
‘I want a normal sex life: a wife and a husband, and a pygmy in the den,
‘Been having them terrible nightmares… lots of pretty women are going up my grave.’
(Oh behave)
Well, the doc he told the nurse right then,
‘Let’s bring him in, I think he needs a “shave”...’
Now it’s time for you to say what happens to the Unique Eunuch
Doesn’t matter if you’re English, Irish, Danish or from Munich,
Now you should raise your hands and help us with a quick decision,
Will it be a pair of new nuts or an XL circumcision?
They took him to a room and then out came the deadly scissors,
He asked them to be gentle but, alas, they were kinda’ mental,
The doink as you can see is now the state’s own property,
It’s standing up somewhere, where the women are going:
One by one by one by a-one-a-way…
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10. |
Giraffless Penguin
04:34
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Giraffless Penguin, she’s looking around,
Giraffless Penguin, the Giraffless ground,
The Penguin’s Giraffe, had took a wrong turn,
And climbed right up a treetop,
The penguin had carried on,
Not thinking anything had gone wrong,
But now the Penguin, hasn’t a clue,
She’s asking every last animal who lives in the zoo,
The hippopotamus made little a fuss and climbed right up the oak tree,
But the Giraffe had long gone so the penguin carried on,
Giraffless Penguin, she’s looking around,
Is the Penguinless Giraffe safe and sound?
Now both voices unfurl in opposite sides of the world,
Penguin: ‘Oh where’s my Giraffe where’s my pal?’
Giraffe: ‘Oh where’s my Penguin where’s my gal?’
Together: ‘Oh where’s my best friend in the world?’
Always missing each other by…
A beat
(He’s got some loooong feet)
The penguin waddled the world twice,
She’s looking all over,
They say you can’t miss a giraffe,
How crazy it drove her,
She looked left she looked right
She looked down from the height of a kite,
When will the world understand the plight
Of a Giraffless Penguin resorting to flight,
Penguin: ‘THE PENGUIN WHO DOTH FLY,
WILL NEVER LET FRIENDSHIP DIE!!!!
…Hey…! Where the hell were you?’
Giraffe: ‘It don’t matter. I finally found ya.’
Backing chorus: ‘WOO!’
Girafffull Penguin, look who’s arrived,
The Giraffe and the Penguin, side by side,
Now everybody sings:
Side by side by side by side at long last together (4x)
Oh there’s my best friend there’s my pal!
Oh there’s my best friend there’s my gal!
Oh there’s my best friend in the world!
Never gonna leave you behind…
Again.
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11. |
Broken Record
03:35
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Listening to a broken record and I think I’m stuck,
Mmm it’s making me high, yeah,
Woke up in the afternoon this morning,
Yawning,
My head was spinning like it wasn’t a part of my body,
Yeah it was spinning like it was completely apart from my body,
I don’t know what it is,
But I keep on listening,
And I think I’m stuck,
Listening to a broken record and I think I’m a little stuck,
Mmm it’s making me high, yeah,
High high high high
Twenty five years and still flying high.
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Headless London, UK
As teenagers, long-time friends David Goo and Aner Rabinovitz got together and wrote a number of madcap songs that bridged
the gap between pop, rock, cabaret and psychedelia, before just as quickly parting ways as life took them in different directions.
Now over two decades later the pair have come back together as Headless to give those tunes a chance to shine
... more
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