Posts tagged harry potter

Harry: Gotta keep moving so we don’t die.
Hermione: I can get behind that, but what’s your plan?
Ron: Just what he said; Don’t die.
Hermione: Okay, understood, but beyond that?
Harry: Don’t die.
Hermione: Don’t die isn’t a plan! It’s a general demand of living!

Regulus: All that time, I really believed we were the good guys.

Snape: Annihilating entire cities, orphaning little kids, classic hero stuff.

Ron: so, i’ve been thinking
Hermione: merlin, are you okay? that must’ve been rough

Oh, I love happy endings! I mean, I presume we’re done. Or is this “putting us in mortal danger” situation gonna be a regular thing? - Ron Weasley (after finding out Quirrell was dead)

Bellatrix: We’ve had some difficulties. Rodolphus: Apparently, marriage has challenges.

Bellatrix: There was some bloodshed.

Rodolphus: Ah, she tried to kill me, with much crucio…

Bellatrix: He f**ked my mother with much f**king. We’re trying to move forward.

Rodolphus: Close the book on the past. Bellatrix: Wake up to a new day.

Pansy: He did something to me that was so perverse! Okay, I'm just gonna say it: He tried to hold my hand.
Hermione: *sarcastically* You mean to tell me that Neville is a hand-holder? And to think he once served us food.
Pansy: You laugh, but it's part of a bigger problem. Do you know that I didn't fuck a single or a married guy the whole time Neville was out of town?
Hermione: are you gaining a conscience?! 
Pansy: I know! I'm basically dying!

Hermione: [about Draco] Yesterday I almost did it with him on a park bench in front of children.

Pansy: What stopped you?

Hermione: Common decency.

Pansy: Oh, that.

Ginny: [scoring the ‘How Well Do You Know Your Kids?’ quiz] Let’s see: you didn’t know my pet Pygmy Puffs name…

Molly: Arnold the Pygmy Puff. it’s in there now…

Ginny: You got Ron’s birthday wrong, day and year.

Arthur: I was told there’d be no math.

Ginny: And neither of you knew that Fred and George have been stealing my pocket money.

Molly: Yes, but technically that wasn’t part of the quiz.

Ginny: Fine, I won’t count it. But that still gives you 2 out of 20. And any score less than 6, I’m supposed to call a social worker.

Arthur: What exactly is a social worker?

Lily: How did this happen? How does a person who prides herself on being in total control lose it? Why am I sitting on the bathroom floor? Why is there an out of control party in the common room? The answer to all of these questions could only be: James Potter.

*The marauders are eavesdropping on Lily’s rant to herself.*
James: See! I’m doing great! Lily appreciates my efforts to make people happy!
Remus: She basically just said that you’re the bane of her existence.
Sirius: Yeah but all he heard was her saying his name without screaming at him…

Hermione: Where did Draco end up yesterday?

Pansy: oh he decided it was time to go see a therapist.

Hermione: Really? How did it go?

Pansy: his therapist is now seeing a therapist so…

Ginny: Have a drink before I have to introduce you to grandma.
Harry: OK but please don't say anything to your family about us doing the whole surrogacy thing.
Ginny: Absolutely. Look I'm afraid once we tell my mom she's gonna want to choose the surrogate for us.
Harry: Yeah, well I'm afraid once your mom finds out she's gonna wanna be the surrogate for us.

Umbridge: You! Wipe that look off your face!
Ron: This isn't a look! It's just my face!
Umbridge: Well, you should get your money back.

 [Harry tries to coach Ginny into writing her runaway-bride note]
Ginny: [starts to write letter] Dean...
Harry: Just Dean? Give it some heart, the poor guy!
Ginny: "Dear sweet Dean..."
Harry: Sweet? So what, are you still in love with this jerk?
Ginny: I'm doing this on my own.
Harry: I'm sorry, I feel bad for the guy. I'm stealing the greatest girl in the world away from him.
Ginny: You're not stealing me. I'm choosing you...[kisses him] because you are loving, you are caring, and [gives note to Harry] you are going to give him this note.
Harry: You're expecting me to go there?!
Ginny: It took me everything I had to apparate out of that church...and if I had to go back there, I'm not sure if I can do it again.
Harry: [gets note and takes a step towards the fireplace before turning back and rubbing the note in Ginny's face] It has to smell like you.

Hermione: *distraught* Basically, my essay is 3,600 pages of garbage. Even Percy couldn't understand it.
Harry: So? What does Percy know?
Ginny: In my Experience, Everything.
Hermione: That's my point! He knows everything, and it was too convoluted, even for him!
Harry: Percy does not know everything. Percy doesn't even know my middle name. You wrote an arithmancy essay that I'm sure Professor Vector will drool over. Be proud of yourself and stop stressing out.
Ron: Yeah Mione, Stop stressing out, it was only - Wait. ITS HOW MANY PAGES!? HOW DO YOUR HANDS EVEN STILL WORK?!

Harry: Hey, how many sexual partners have you had?
Draco: At the same time?
Harry: *going very red* Never mind.

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