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Mansions and Millions

IfOnly

by innerinnerlife

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Minnie
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Minnie Damn, this matches my mood! (Yearning and sadness) Favorite track: IfOnly.
magoski
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magoski Let the words sink in.
Not rushed,
not forced —
Feel them.
Feel them like you feel her breath
close to your ear,
a trace of warmth,
of wanting,
and needing,
and everything between.
All the possible lives,
All the possible ways
I could be with you —
and never once,
not in any version,
did we end
up apart.
“If only…”
a door slightly open
“If only…”
a light in the hallway.
Always conditional,
always hopeful.
Always the promise
of tomorrow.
Come in
/
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Limited to 30 copies. Includes two bonus tracks (Stay.mp3 & IfOnly live version) not available anywhere else.

    Includes unlimited streaming of IfOnly via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Download available in 24-bit/44.1kHz.
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    edition of 30 
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1.
IfOnly 03:06 video
hard to forget you and say goodbye the sounds of our music as time go by a moment a gesture a little while the sounds of our music is passing time if only love could break your heart i'd love to love so fucking hard (if only love could fix mistakes i'd love to see how long it takes)
2.
Linger On 04:12
I don’t need to draw the line And I’m happy where we’re standing Forever afloat in time And it’s not we’re undemanding and i don't mind enjoy the ride the narrow-mindedness won't keep us satisifed and i don't mind to fall behind i know we're not that scared to linger on inside i don't need to build a wall and i'm happy not withstanding and not a promise to be told cause i know you're not pretending I don’t need to draw the line i'm just happy where i'm standing Like forever afloat in time and i hope it's never ending
3.
I promise to accept defeat It is a treat, on me Consideration of self Is a bore Warmth is weakness, warmth is joy Joy is a feeling I’ve never felt before You see things I don’t want to see It hurts so much you Love this part of me Dove scented bodies align here Difficulties, don’t ever mind it If you ever want to remind me Won’t you phone me another day
4.
Destroyer 02:35
Try to be the love one can’t ignore There’s nothing in this world you leave undone You can mess around with us You can mess around with clocks and time Try to be the one that brings the joy There’s nothing sweeter than the fun you could destroy You try to be the love one can’t ignore
5.
There’s a word “love” in every song. Because even the humble ones deserve it
6.
it’s hard to forget you and say goodbye the sounds of our music a time go by a moment a gesture a little while the sounds of your music is passing time hard to forget you and say goodbye the sounds of your music is passing time if only love could break your hear

about

On first listen, 'IfOnly', the new EP from Tomasz Szpaderski’s innerinnerlife, evokes memories of the 2000s Gothenburg indie pop scene exemplified by the record labels Service and Sincerely Yours, and Lund’s The Radio Dept. But while it may lovingly gaze north, it’s inescapably a product of Poland, conceived in the kitchen of Szpaderski’s grandparents and completed at his home studio in Gdynia. It’s an effort to return to the most basic elements of his music, freely mixing the analog and digital to capture the feeling of a band’s leisurely exploration of sound.

While those touchstone records of the early millennium juggled posthistorical hedonism and revolutionary fervor, 'IfOnly' is tuned to the times in which such passionate certainties recede – moments like our own – and concerned with the task of living through these intervals with an open heart. Amidst the narcotically-paced trip hop of 'Balmy', Stockholm-based Josephine Moriko, who recently collaborated with Szpaderski on the double-sided single 'Emociones / Prior', sings “I promise to accept defeat / it is a treat…Warmth is weakness, warmth is joy” This is not the balminess of a tropical getaway, but the glacially weighty heat of a transformed climate.

Yet this is deeply romantic music – the romance of hope, subdued but indefatigable; the preservation in memory of a lost object; a devotion, above all else, to possibility itself. “If only” may be an expression conveying regret, but like 'IfOnly', it wistfully reaffirms the promise always carried in that simple conditional ‘if’ – that we may love again, that tomorrow may dawn differently.

credits

released November 7, 2025

All tracks written, produced and mixed by innerinnerlife (Tomek Szpaderski)
Lyrics by innerinnerlife

Balmy (feat. Josephine Moriko) — lyrics and additional production by Josephine Moriko
It’s Everywhere (feat. dpe0) — additional production and guitars by dpe0

Artwork by Union Farm and innerinnerlife
Mastered by Ike Zwanikken
Liner Notes by Theo Howard

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innerinnerlife Gdynia, Poland

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