Insteading

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

BLM Grassroots released a statement on ICE’s murder of Keith Porter and Renee Good. Read it in full– it’s really good– but I want to highlight a couple of their observations.

  • News coverage of ICE’s victims– especially their victims who are people of color– focus on whatever the ICE agent claims, not on the reasons a reader would have wanted to know the person whom ICE took from us.
  • “What was made starkly clear is that ICE does not only terrorize migrants, it is a death sentence for African Americans, a warning that Black Lives Matter Grassroots issued back in June, at the start of the Los Angeles ICE raids.”
  • ICE agent Jonathan Ross picked off Renee Good in part because she was engaged in visible solidarity. “The message that ICE tried to send was for white people to stay home and stay out of it, Renee would want all of us to double down and continue the work that is important to her, showing up in solidarity.”
  • ICE has victims who don’t make even the most local news– people who die in detention, people who are hurt either directly by ICE or by local police who are abetting them.
Pinned Post us politics abolish ice acab antiblackness keith porter renee nicole good there's a litany that school of the americas watch did outside school of the americas for all the victims of soa calling the names of those killed because of soa's work anyway: feeling the need for an ice-specific version of that litany keith porter: presente! nicole renee good: presente! blm grassroots
wroughtironandivory
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Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.

Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!

Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.

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FTR it was 17 minutes from "arriving at the bag claim" to claiming my bag, so right on time.

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Someone tagged this post "#it’s all fun n games until baggage check takes over an hour" which is 100% legit; a common sentiment in notes is that sometimes you don't want to know how long something has taken. But that is one of the reasons I started doing the stopwatch thing in the first place!

On the one hand, timing something is about reminding myself "No, it's only been five minutes," but it is ALSO about knowing when something is taking way longer than it should.

If I'm put into an exam room in a doctor's office, I start a timer. Because I have been forgotten about in a doctor's office before, I get nervous that I'll just be sat in there forever, and the timer tells me "No, they haven't forgotten you, it's only been 10 minutes." But it also tells me if I have been there longer than appropriate (generally more than 40 minutes) so that I know when it's justifiable to flag down a nurse to find out what's going on.

At bag claim, because I know it usually takes about 20 minutes to get my bag, I don't get concerned until the timer passes the 20 minute mark without any bags appearing. At that point I know I need to take off my headphones and start paying attention -- looking at signage, maybe asking someone if I'm at the right carousel. Maybe don't worry yet, but start double-checking. Perhaps the delay is unavoidable and it'll just be an hour, but at least, having asked, I KNOW it'll be an hour, and the timer will tell me when the hour is past and I should maybe check in again.

Now, if the bags do start showing up before 20 minutes but my bag hasn't shown up by the 40 minute mark, I know that again it's time to put my head on a swivel, and at the 50 minute mark it's time to go speak to someone in the baggage claim office. This has more than once helped me locate my bag when it's accidentally been sent to the wrong part of the airport. There is no point at which, without the timer, I would go "man this is taking a long time" and then actually go ask, because I wouldn't actually know how long it had been.

The timer both prevents me from worrying before I need to and tells me when to start worrying -- essentially, because I'm both perpetually impatient and also infinitely patient, I've outsourced my patience to a stopwatch. And because I time a lot of things, I now know the average time a lot of things take, which helps me calibrate my concerns appropriately. Ten minutes is a long time to wait for a burger from McDonalds, but it's actually on the short end of the time it takes to get a burger from Shake Shack. It's not a long time to be on hold with the HR office of my old employer, but it's longer than I'd usually be on hold with my pharmacy. Et cetera.

I know I say this all the time but I still find it hilarious that I didn't know I had ADHD until I was forty years old.

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dreamtofswallowingcoins

just want to add that I've started timing myself doing everyday chores and tasks and having a more realistic, personalized idea of how long things take has helped a lot with my time blindness.

I only just started, and it's not yet habitual, so there's only a small bit of info, but it's already made it easier to avoid rushing or getting stuck in waiting mode because it takes out a lot of the guesswork.

And it lets me have grace for myself when something is really taking it out of me. I'm right, this *is* taking forever and it isn't usually this hard, so what's going on? Do I need to rest? Eat? Did I forget my meds? Am I overwhelmed? Etc.


I feel like a scientist gathering and applying data.

Showers on typical days only take "about ten minutes" (me, 2025), therefore, I CAN shower before my appointment that's two hours away.

Contrary to popular belief, doing a quick tidy takes "less than half an hour" (me, 2026) and will not take the better part of a day. I don't need to dread or put it off because I can start a 20min episode and I'll be done before the credits roll.

The proposed estimate of "10-30 miserable minutes in the cold when the warm blankets are right there" (time blindness and depression, 2024), is erroneous, and based on pre-medicated data. As tempting as it is to go straight back to bed after peeing, my research shows that brushing teeth, including "prep and cleanup," rarely takes more than four minutes and may even improve morale and momentum when getting up for the day.

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This is awesome and hey guess what: you ARE a scientist gathering and applying data!

I'm super proud of you and everyone who is working to keep their lives together in the face of disability and the general horrors of the world right now. Keep up the great work! And if things slip a little that's ok too. None of us are perfect. Just keep taking notes...for SCIENCE!

insteading

I don’t use my timer on a daily basis anymore, but the first couple years after ankle surgery, I tracked the time I spent weight-bearing, and kept a record of how my time standing and walking correlated with my pain or stiffness the next day, and how that impacted my mood and cognitive bandwidth. Which is how I learned that there was such a thing as too little weight-bearing for me, as well as too much. It’s also how I was able to see my acceptable range expand over time. Taking notes, for science!

doing science on one's own self
positivelyqueer
self care resources reminder reblogging so i can find this
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insteading

Our wife is heading off to the wars again! Time to download some fics and wish her safe travels.

ao3 archive of our own downtime