I'm Not Meisterious, I'm Kef

Originally posted by miss-conseption

Would you take a look at that. Pretty pathetic, huh.

Well you’ll never believe this but that llama you’re looking at was once a human being. And not just any human being: that guy was on Tumblr.

That’s right. He stole his shoelaces from the president.

This is his story. Well actually my story. That’s right. I’m that llama.

The name is Kef-Meister.
Welcome to my realm of jests and japes.
There will also be no survivors.

======================

On March 19th 2025 at a bit past 3 PM I was banned from tumblr for the crime of having uncensored anime boobies on a side-blog I hadn’t used since 2018. On March 25th 2025 at 8 PM I got my tumblr account back, but the entire side-blog has been deleted. A sad day for hentai apologists everywhere.

That said, I stopped being a llama. I am still here and I’m going to continue making that everyone’s problem.

Introduction? Yeah. I am:

• Kef-Meister. Always have been (call me Kef);
• old. “late last century” old;
• active on Bluesky;
• an internet and Tumblr veteran;
• a Mod for a delightful VTuber called Clara Dogford.

[Please follow her on Bluesky and Twitch etc. thanks]

Also, I: have a self-proclaimed PhD in Comedy; love the TMNT; love Nintendo’s Metroid series more than anyone else I know; am multilingual enough for it to be impressive. :)

My current views are my own, my old posts are made by Kef-from-many-years-ago and are not valid receipts. Do you even remember the stuff you’ve done many years ago? No.
okay maybe you do when you try and get some sleep but that’s a skill issue tbfh /lh

Okay be nice now I love you bye.

hazeldomain:

10thingsihateabout-all-yall:

elidyce:

byjoveimbeinghumble:

fairypage01:

goobra:

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

Girl……

This is it! This is what social media/smart tech have done! They’ve rotted away any distinction between private and public.

Yes, we do have the right to make demands on public behavior. Of course we do. Have you never heard of laws and etiquette? I’m not allowed to grocery shop naked. You can’t rummage through my purse. I can’t have a work meeting in the middle of a movie theatre.

I remember when it was taboo simply to answer your cell phone in public. The person answering would apologize and try to go to a more private area. Then public calls were normalized. Then putting people on speaker. Then listening to music without headphones. Do you know how many times I have hiked up a mountain or driven to the beach, only to be met with someone blaring shitty top 40 music from their portable speaker, because Heaven forbid you go one hour without noise?

Old woman yells at cloud and all that, but I can’t believe someone is not only admitting this behavior, but saying it’s a good thing! No one likes you! You’re a menace!

BEING INCONSIDERATE OF OTHERS IS STILL BAD.

It was obnoxious when it was youtube.

It was obnoxious when it was music.

It was obnoxious when it was the radio. 

It was obnoxious when it was dudes wanting to talk to you instead of letting you just read your freaking book.

Do you want to be this guy? Because being obnoxious in shared spaces is how you become this guy. 

Wear your damn headphones like an adult participant in the social contract.

Best art history lesson ever, thank you

(via melonpalooza)

subspace-highway:

whenever I get overstimulated I should be able to shake it off like this

(via notreblogs)

prokopetz:

Pre-writing cryptic clues in my own blood on my front walk before going up on the roof to clean my rain gutters so that if I slip and fall, whoever finds my corpse will have a fun mystery to solve.

chloelum:

FROGS FROGS FROGS 💚

(via kingsprejudice)

lighthouseshepard:

lighthouseshepard:

lighthouseshepard:

fries. envelopes. ive been awake for 18 hours can i go to bed now.

you know i think the fact that friends and enemies autocorrected to this and i didn’t notice is reason enough i should sleep

(via kug-the-carrot)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist:

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

I’m assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground

if a business cooerces its customers to download an app, i should legally be allowed to set both the business and its board of directors on fire

(via kug-the-carrot)

duskroll:

Failing at facial recognition with mama

fiendish-illos:

hey
dont cry
Autism Creature speculative biology

(via gallusrostromegalus)

lonelyroommp3:

exiting a uquiz halfway through when it becomes clear the creator’s narrow and immature world view and cultural knowledge leaves them totally unequipped to tell me which peanuts character i am with any degree of accuracy or insight

(via kug-the-carrot)

kragehund-est:

“the best revenge is living well” ok can i have the second best revenge then? preferably one where he gets hit by a meteor and goes bankrupt?

(via scenitroute)

sinensis26:

You all need to hear this:

1. You probably dont suck at your craft as much as you think you do, I bet a lot of people are amazed at what you can make, and

2. If you actually are the Literal Worst In The Whole Wide World at your craft… who the fuck cares? What are they gonna do, call the police on you? Keep making your shitty little things, youre the boss of you, fuck the haters.

(via gallusrostromegalus)

brakken:

No Place Like Home
—
For Samus, the days in Federation Space often blend together.

Arriving or departing, waiting on her next mission, or just letting her mind drift off to a faraway planet - to home.

Maybe this planet is home, too.

Maybe.

spoonie-living:

lascapigliata:

huhnerkopf:

autistic-pyro:

So I can’t brush my teeth. Like, it’s the worst kind of hell. I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and I told the hygienist this, and she was wonderfully helpful.

There are some incredibly soft toothbrushes available- namely, post-surgical brushes. Running them under hot water makes them even softer.

She told me that you don’t really need to use toothpaste- it’s mostly marketing. The foam gets to me, so that is really reassuring.

She gave me two particularly soft brushes and some xylitol gum. Trident is a market brand of xylitol gum, which helps with your teeth and can make your breath smell better.

The whole purpose of brushing is to disrupt plaque buildup. You don’t need to brush twice a day, every day with toothpaste if you brush correctly- little circles, focusing on near the gums (where most plaque builds up). So if you’re having a bad sensory day and can’t brush at all, it’s not the end of the world.

Hell, you don’t even need a toothbrush if even the post-surgical ones are too harsh. Going over your teeth with the same motions using a washcloth is enough.

She wants to find a fluoride rinse that has a taste I can stand (peppermint is the only mint I can stand) but she’s not particularly worried about it.

I go to Dr. Barr in Chicago. If you can get to the State St. Macy’s, his office is nearby. He’s very kind and patient and really understanding of my needs as an autistic person. The hygienist, I don’t know her name, announced everything she was going to do before she did it, and stopped frequently to see how I was doing.

This is really the only positive dentist I’ve ever had- past dentists have been too rough and not bothered to help find ways I can actually brush.

Basically this is a glowing recommendation for Dr. Barr’s office if you’re autistic, afraid of dentists, or have sensory needs. This is a recommendation even if you don’t have any of those things.

Im actually crying i feel like this post was reblogged for me oh my god oh my god oh my lord thank you

You can also dilute your mouthwash and use it to swish around if it burns. My dentist does this so consider it dentally approved

If you were feeling guilty about your brushing habits, either due to sensory issues, pain, allergies, executive dysfunction, or just plain fatigue, here’s what you need to know about what is and isn’t necessary if your dental care!

(via dannyvantass)

professionalchaoticdumbass:

it all reblogs to nothing…. it all comes [tumblr]ing down [tumblr]ing down [tumblr]ing down……

(via foone)

derinthescarletpescatarian:

catboybiologist:

catboybiologist:

marinella-ela:

Cromch

strongly agree with this sentiment, the sound is lovely here

God that sounds so goddamned refreshing I wish I was eating a cactus

(via pettyartist)