emails i can’t send ━━━ kita shinsuke
To: [email protected]
subject: i miss you
it’s been over three months and i still can’t get you out of my head. i’m sure atsumu told you that i’m living with him until august. he probably wants to kick me out with how much i talk about you, but with how many one night stands he brings round i think it’s only fair.
it doesn’t help that he talks about you a lot. he misses you, maybe more than i do. you might know that, i’m not sure how much the twins are talking currently. i don’t think it’s much. atsumu’s always on the ice. sometimes skating, sometimes hockey. the second the rink is shut, he’s taking me to parties. they’re okay. there’s a couple girls who he skates with sometimes, one’s two years older and the other is your age. they seem nice enough, but they’re always at parties as well. sometimes i worry the one who’s your age may be enabling him, or that they’re enabling each other. probably the latter.
i’m getting on okay. i’m not at uni, so i just go to work then come back to the apartment. it’s usually empty. i have two jobs, but one is only two days a week. bartending, it’s okay. it’s better than the restaurant. the restaurant only has ceos and stuff so it’s stressful. at least when ceos come into the bar they’re a lot more fun.
it’s your birthday today, that’s why i’m writing. i couldn’t get you out of my head. even at the restaurant. one of our specialty dishes was called “love from home” (the chef is from hygogo too) — it was as akashiyaki with rice from the farm close to the miyas. and one of the guys who walked in with people from his internship or whatever was also a hockey player and we played against him! so, nekoma’s captain says hello. not that you’ll ever know, of course. he’ll probably think you’re a dick. sorry.
happy birthday, i hope you enjoyed your day.
— with love, y/n
To: [email protected]
re: i miss you
Hi y/n,
It’s been a while, I hope you’re well.
Atsumu had informed me you moved in together, I felt very sorry for you. It couldn’t have been an easy task. I recall, at that time, he and Sunarin were quite active in the “dating” scene. My condolences for your experiences. I hope you invested in a pair of earbuds/noise cancelling headphones.
I do recall meeting Haiba briefly at a competition, I believe she was supprting Atsumu in a hockey match. She seemed nice. I apologise on behalf of Atsumu’s talkings of me. Though I cannot control his actions, I control my own and I did not stay active enough in engaging with him as I did his brother. He was likely hurt by that and I regret not attempting to mend their bridges sooner. I regret many things from then.
What’s done is done, however, so I can only change in the future.
I hope Atsumu has changed; I believe he is more under control — he’s still an avid party-goer, but he only goes on weekends now. Baby steps. I’m proud of him.
If I recall correctly, you only stayed in Tokyo for a month before you left. I may be wrong there, it wasn’t long but it felt like a lifetime to me.
I saw Kuroo fairly recently for a practice match in Tokyo. He was very welcoming, though he doesn’t seemed to have changed much. He’s no longer captain, he actually refused the offer and passed it down to his underclassmen. Something about wanting to focus on managing the team more often. We discussed hockey after graduation. Neither of us plan to continue competitively. Maybe Osamu and I could join a club, though I do worry The Miya Side may come out and destroy the club. Especially when Atsumu comes home…
That day, the team took me out to a club. It was okay. I appreciated the effort they made, but I could hardly focus on the night. My first birthday without you was difficult.
Yours,
Kita
masterlist. profiles | next
summary. thoughts linger in your mind of what you wish you asked your ex-boyfriend before he ended your relationship. a series of emails you wrote and never planned to share sit in your drafts, where they have lived for years. but when a glitch causes all your emails to be sent out to him, it’s like the end of the world as you know it. you start fearing the worst, that he’ll think you’re still obsessed with him. but the last thing you expected was responses that answer all your questions, starting from your first email, three years ago.
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