damn then it’s a good thing none of this ever happens in monogamous relationships. as we all know, jealousy, breakups, and pregnancy were all abolished for two-person couples in 1993 with the passing of the “stable happy marriages 4eva and eva” act.
have i ever posted about my favorite thing in Any d&d adventure book i’ve looked at because let me show you this thing in curse of strahd
first things first you open the door to the room and Hundreds And Hundreds Of Skulls Fall Out
like, so many fucking skulls
it takes 5 minutes to clear out all of the skulls and then there’s a separate room that now has skulls fucking Everywhere on the floor which if that isn’t incredible
there’s a chest Glued To The Ceiling 30 feet up so naturally people are like oh Fuck there’s GOTTA be some good shit in there
you guys need to understand the glue holding this chest to the ceiling is a Legendary level magic time that can only be removed by another legendary level magic item (or a rare one) or a fucking wish spell
again it’s 30 feet up there on the ceiling so if someone wants to even attempt to open it they either gotta fly up, spiderwalk, or do some kinda other shenanigans
once they reach the chest it ain’t fucking moving from the ceiling so you gotta attempt to open it while you’re 30 feet in the air
it’s got a DC25 strength check so better hope you’ve got a barbarian around
your party has done it after probably a lot of whacky misadventures you finally manage to pry this chest open
the barbarian throws the chest lid open, ready to catch anything that might spill out of it
they suddenly heard screams of surprise from the rest of the party, and look down to see the floor has opened up underneath them and they’re now laying in a pile on the ground
look back into the chest
it’s fucking empty
mind you. this is in an ancient temple made to house the vestiges of formless eldritch horrors who tempt the players with extraordinary powers at the risk of them getting corrupted whose guardians long since went insane and killed each other and whose skulls now roam the halls eternally protecting the place amongst OTHER scary things that lurk in the place and all of a sudden there’s a whacky puzzle featuring an absurdly difficult to open chest That Is Completely And Utterly Empty
You see Brendon it’s like, there are decades where nothing happens, and weeks where decades happen. Ever heard that before? Know who said that? Lenin. You know Lenin, Brendon? From oh I don’t know, the BEATLES?
ALT
