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1. |
Moonflower
02:10
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moonflower wakes, the evening muse
ensnare the heart, a most beautiful bloom
stand-in for ruins it has consumed
thrive on decay, cycles begin anew
always wanted to follow you down the spiral
efflorescent and elegant, become a gutter angel
pulverize, capsulize and swallow, capsize at the end
harbor grace until it breaches both the eyes
moonflower makes sense of all
smothered in poison, still crawls
laid down roots with room for two
never again be without you
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2. |
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secrets
divulged
post-mortem tales
a life untold
no one
would have ever known
about the flesh that never felt like home
in death there is no shame
nothing to hide from
no one to escape
in death there can be no shame
finally, you are freed
but it doesn't mean anything
make peace with yourself
while you are still here
the things you so desperately held within
will all disappear
and you will pass from this plane
having lived only
as an empty shell
you will be remembered by people who never really knew you
and burned or buried under a name that never really fit quite right
make peace with yourself
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3. |
Eden Grew Without You
01:20
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cut back
it cannot be halted, it cannot be stopped
threatening to overtake, it pierces
winding flesh grows round and becomes you
intertwining and enclosing your wounds
bursting free once more, oh god it hurts
but it's free
oh god isn't it lovely?
twist your knuckles under your eyes
cry cry cry cry
why are you still alive?
why not be nutrient
through which the vine can further thrive
you have to decide - your life or the vine
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4. |
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found the words
found the wherewithal
to sing them to you
but you've become ash
there is no you to sing them to
would a hollow shell feel any better?
would pretending you were still there inside
feel any better than this?
while fully knowing
everything that made you you has died too?
heart sick
stomach burns
with jealousy
when anyone
speaks your name
their grief could never feel like this
they don't know what it is to
have the life wrung out of them
so thoroughly
just want to start over
shut down, shut out everything else
repaint with intention
admire neglected sparks
make certain you know how loved you were
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5. |
Phytolilith
03:17
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believe in the mountains of broken glass
and not in the basement current of crushed up nothing
growth in the strangest of places
roots that feed nothing at all
couldn't remember the drive back home
it could have happened then
but you survived somehow
you sat right in this house and swallowed them all
been feeling ever so tired
the weight of all these sins
burden enough for two in the hands of one
should know enough ghosts by now
to not feel this alone
two bags of dust are all that's left here
both immutable companions
permanently bound to one, hand-in-hand
the other always just out of reach
return to the miles of glimmer in each direction
before memory began to blur
a recursion of sharp refractions
where it's unclear if, or how long, you've been away
before the distance between reflections grew and grew
while you were forging tungsten into nightmare
deep-seated tendrils mirrored a pestilence within
half-hearted attempts to get out of this goddamned place
the stumbles, the falters, the ever-fading grace
no one's to blame, it's not like you ever wanted to stay
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6. |
Ophanim I
02:00
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there you lie
closed off for the last time
on the roadside
wrapped up in plastic
it happens once:
a car sits adjacent to the road
crumpled, smashed to bits
windshield run through by branches
the trees fight back when they're threatened
stoic, standing their ground
your punctured lung still yet breathes
modern medicine forgives
but the capitalist scum never did
they took your livelihood while you were away
but oh, it happens once more:
a car sits beside the road
overturned this time
there is nothing left inside
a body bag sits to the right
or maybe it's stage right
everything feels wrong
and stage fright takes center
as you maintain radio silence
the despair of half-made things washes over
everything you will never finish, or start only to stop short
remnants of your essence left trapped in layers of silicon
are the only assurance that you did once live
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7. |
Ophanim II
01:53
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a dead doe sit and rots
for weeks on the shoulder
staring vacantly
up at the coward
who couldn't bear to look for months
dancing mockingly
for the aberrant
who now desperately collects
photos from the scene
arranged in rituals
meant to deny you rest
look away, shut out the laughter
eyes fully rotted away days ago
but still pierced by her gaze
she knows what you are
make it stop
fight back
throw up the leaves, cough up the vine
ingest razor blades and fire, burn out the sickness inside
breathe deep the smoke, swallow the ash, plant life anew
let Eden roam free in the embrace of Saint Ends
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8. |
Wormwood
01:36
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within these clutches, all disintegrates
even the silica, buried unto itself
sand upon sand upon...
self filled with self, but never tempered
temper your expectations
you always said "reality is unrealistic"
subsist through the eyes of something long dead
bless and renew the circadian
eroded memories
dream something better
spirited odyssey
freakish oddity
hold fast and press on
lined your path with golden thread
distinguished and dazzling is the lead
though it twists and winds round all the bends
all will be able to see
there is a way out
place faith in the incandescent glow
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9. |
At 9 A.M.
05:27
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this is the cruelest fucking place
it's so hard to imagine things will ever change
there is a fog that never leaves
uncaring industry fills your bloodstream with plastics
and a creeping dread slithers, surrounding all conversation
but there is hope in every sound you make, every utterance
this does not have to be the way things stay
the end could look just like the start
flourishes of life and color
hearts bound within each other
remember how it once felt to love another
it didn't have to be like this
by the morning this will seem rash,
so incredibly senseless
stilted words are used to build up, to tear apart
to conjure, to perpetuate these hardships
there is no permanence
no feeling cannot be erased
if only you could have stayed a little longer
when the sun bathes the world in its radiance
at 9 A.M. you're gone, there's nothing left
this was all temporary
just a fleeting feeling
how much are you supposed to take?
when you're too anxious to sleep for days
to eat, to get out of bed
so you just lay and rot
it's hard to ask anyone to stay
ousted by austere eyes
which see nothing in the darkness
lie all alone
until someone else comes
so come angel, come back
some things never change
this struggle is and shall ever be eternal
but one day you'll figure out
how not to feel scared of everything
how not to be afraid
it's too late at 9 A.M.
someone's lost everything
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