you only live laugh once (Posts tagged germany)

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
echotunes
ceeturnalia

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

elveny

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Don’t tell me delayed orgasms aren’t a thing

ceeturnalia

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learning new things about the german rail system today

some-stars

ok but the way i've made this exact joke in a fic--

Because it turns out that what Logan really, really loves is getting railed. And not in the criminally underfunded Via Rail way, where you get trapped behind a freight train going forty for twelve hours and have to wait in line for the poorly ventilated bathroom. What Logan likes is the full on Japanese bullet train experience.

trains germany fanfic nsfw
echotunes

Anonymous asked:

hey! What is Tatort Saarbrücken and is there English subtitles for it? (Also where can I watch it?)

echotunes answered:

hi anon! so. bear with me here,

First you must understand that Tatort (“Crime Scene”) (Wikipedia) is the German cop show. A lot of German television is cop shows, but this is the one - it’s been running every Sunday since 1970 (making it the longest-running German TV drama), in the prime time slot at 8:15pm on public-service broadcast organisation ARD’s TV channel Das Erste, right after the evening news program Tagesschau. Murder-of-the-week style, every episode deals with a homicide case that the characters then investigate and eventually solve (and it’s all very dramatic, as crime shows tend to be). So you understand Tatort is very mainstream. The mainstream. Your parents watch Tatort. Your grandparents watch Tatort. It’s a Thing. (it’s also obviously all copaganda we’re aware of this)

(This makes the fact that it trends on Tumblr every year very funny to everyone involved. Because it’s, y'know. Tatort. Half the reason people (including me) get into it is because they go “why is Tatort of all things trending on Tumblr what is all this about”)

There’s different versions of Tatort, set in different cities and all produced by the public-service broadcast services of that region - each focusing on different characters (but all of whom are cops because that’s what the show is about). Each location only gets one to three episodes a year, so it switches through every week. There’s Cologne, Münster, Berlin, whatever; and then there’s Saarbrücken. Saarbrücken is the capital of Saarland, the smallest German state after Bremen, Hamburg and Berlin (all of which are city-states). It’s… unremarkable. You never usually hear anything about Saarbrücken. Or Saarland in general really (sorry Saarland). So you wouldn’t expect its Tatort to be remarkable either.

Except! This particular set-in-Saarbrücken Tatort has been running since 2020, and people on Tumblr got interested in it because the two main guys have a Dynamic™ going on. After episode 3 they also officially added the two women to the main team because they forgot about them the first time around or something (thank you mainstream tv). but anyway our four characters are Leo Hölzer (the buff guy in the holster, kind of the glue of the team), Adam Schürk (dishevelled blond man who is really bad at his job and Angsty™), Pia Heinrich (workaholic in the sports jacket), and Esther Baumann (big football fan, seemingly the only person on this team who actually takes her job seriously).

Tatort Saarbrücken is also affectionately known as “Spatort” (Spaten (spade) + Tatort), because a lot of Leo and Adam’s Dynamic is about the fact that they knew each other as kids when Adam was being physically abused by his dad, and Leo eventually hit the dad over the head with a shovel, putting him in a coma (which, spoilers, he wakes up from at the end of the first episode). And then Adam went missing (left the city) for like 15 years but now he’s returned to Saarbrücken for mysterious reasons (it was Leo. Leo was the reason). and now he and Leo are work colleagues and they have queer-flavoured tension going on and this backstory is still very much relevant in between the usual crime-solving. they are honestly not very good at their jobs but well that’s part of the appeal. and people enjoy gay shipping them because of course they do. (is this queerbaiting? maybe! but again the fact that this is all in Tatort is very ???-inducing to many)

Pia and Esther were only officially added to the “main team” in episode 3 because I guess the writers forgot about women for the first two. which is unfortunately not surprising but well they’re here too now! until last episode they felt like they might have had some sort of queer thing going on too but then in the 2025 episode Pia had a suspiciously-het-romance-teasing scene with Adam (they do not have romantic chemistry this was a weird choice we all agree on this) and Esther was flirting with a previously-unseen French colleague (who was a woman though so win for queer Esther enjoyers) so who knows. but we like them too! even though there’s less dramatic backstory for them both, there’s still things hinted at (like Pia’s sister having gone missing years ago. knowing this show this will be relevant at some point)

Also as you may have already gathered there is only one episode of Tatort Saarbrücken released every year. So basically every January we all come together and tune in to watch our annual 90 minutes of cop show episode, liveblog together, make gifsets about it, trend on Tumblr, and then go back into hibernation until the next year. It’s a beautiful event for the German tumblr community

As for watching it: It’s public television, so it’s available for free online in the ARD Mediathek. The six episodes there have been so far are, in order:

As for English subtitles - there’s no official ones, but you can check out this post for info on fanmade ones!

tatort saarbrücken germany tv shows
absinthe-and-alabaster
thenyanguardparty

imo it's kinda silly to feel so strongly negative about East German Totalitarianism when you consider Oh Yeah They Had To Worry About Literal Original Nazis

read-marx-and-lenin

I remember when I first read about the separation of Germany from the East's perspective. How the Soviets were the only ones to propose a neutral united Germany, and how the Americans rejected it because proper denazification would basically only leave communists in power. And then in West Germany, how Adenauer said "lol we don't need denazification anyway" and the Americans just sat back and let him end it all and watched the former Nazis trickle back into positions of power to the point where Kiesinger gets elected chancellor despite his Nazi background. And finally, when DDR intelligence discovered Operation Deco II, a plan by NATO to invade East Germany and depose the Communist government by force. The Berlin Wall's official name was the Antifascist Protective Wall for a reason.

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germany berlin wall history
somethingtardisblue
nordfjording

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^what he said

nordfjording

(automated translation) There is no need to start by making this unnecessarily complicated. Anyone on a political stage giving a political speech in front of a partly right-wing extremist audience who raises their right arm in a swinging manner and at an angle several times is doing the Hitler salute. There is no need for “supposed” or “similar” or “controversial”. The gesture speaks for itself, it is documented in the video. Anyone who then wants to reinterpret it, whoever doesn't want to see the Hitler salute, does so at their own expense.ALT
schwazombie

"One doesn't need to make things unnecessarily complicated at the outset. He who raises his right arm at a slant forcefully and repeatedly while standing on a political stage at a political speech in front of a partially extreme right public is performing the Hitler salute. There is no need for 'allegedly' or 'similar' or 'debated'. The gesture speak for itself, it is documented on video. Whoever then wants to reinterpret it, whoever doesn't want to see (i.e., refuses to recognize) the Hitler salute, does so on their own behalf."

(sorry I am really bad at translating but this is roughly what it says, for my non-German speaking mutuals)

germany elon musk united states history current events
echotunes
etchif

We just need to shut off one more nuclear power plant dude trust me then the climate crisis will be fixed I swear bro we just need to shut off one more just one more power plant getting shut off will fix it bro I swear

etchif

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Multiple square kilometers of land in Germany look like this but at least we don't produce nuclear anymore because that's bad for the environment

germany nuclear energy current events