starting a collection

alright I’ve got a One Free Kinkshame pass that expires this week so I’m gonna go ahead and use it in response to some fairly surreal undertale porn i just saw: who the FUCK is whippin their dripper to skeletons with butt plugs crammed into their tail bones. i mean i know this is The Internet and all but i am at a loss. they’re bones, my dudes. you wanna stick your dick in some bones? you gonna stick your dick in some gotdamn bones? bones can’t feel, pal buddy. I’m sorry. they Can’t. butt plugs don’t work on bones. thats like plugging your HDMI cable into your electric toothbrush. its feasible but nothing is gonna happen, i promise. all i can imagine is what that would sound like. you shove some vibrating bullshit up into some bones and its just gonna be CLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAKCLAK. gonna sound like all your grandma’s hanging lawn ornaments in a hurricane. you wanna fuck your grandma’s lawn ornaments? you wanna shove a butt plug in your grandma’s butterfly windsock and play your fiddle to it you piece of shit? Unbelievable

to my student who emailed me today asking if she should title her essay “what does grendel eat for breakfast? danish” or “no arm, no foul,” thank you. you don’t know that i was in the middle of hashing out how i’m handling your classmate’s intentional plagiarism, but receiving that email reminded me that some of you take your teenage rebellions in the right direction, and i love u for that.

My mom and I went to an antique mall and we were both devastated that this was $650

ⓘ Tip
If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.

anyone know if rubik is like, problematic? do we still fw his cube?

boss makes a dollar i make him slime

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

hmm i will maybe touch you but i am not committed