Thinking abt immortality and how meticulously you’d have to keep track of all of your shit so some nosy historian didnt spot your old journal or coat or copy of a book and call an infuriating time-based finders keepers
“It’s two hundred years old” they say. “It’s essentially public property” they say. It’s a letter you sent to your friend and it’s in a museum now and you’re screaming
Why are vampire stories always I Want To Drink The Sexy Neck Milkshake and never two vampires texting about the passionate letter one wrote to the other in 1863 but never sent that the other just saw in the Smithsonian’s fall exhibition on Love Through the Ages and what the fuck, Claude, why didn’t you say anything
THANK YOU!!! asking the REAL questions
“And in this exhibit, we see the drawings that a child in 1512 made in his lesson book.”
“I spent 350 years becoming a master artist, and THIS is the only work that I can get in a museum? Why don’t you just torture me with my high school poetry, too?”
museum heist by a vampire desperate to get back the Really Good Umbrella she accidentally left at a coaching inn in 1788
Fire has been around a long time, you guys aren’t giving vampires enough credit for burning all the evidence.
heyyy so i'm the guy who loses all that media and just to let you know, next week i'll be losing an episode of transformers from 1995 ^_^ but don't tell the wiki or they'll send another hitman after me >_<
I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again
and the ship name, squire? what is the ship name
“… Kinglebells, m'lord.”
i’m never gonna stop laughing about this. it debuted on tumblr in 2017 and i think of it OFTEN.
