academicblorbo:

What makes episode 5 so incredible in my opinion is that Shane never asks for more. He says “you feel it too, right?” and “I can no longer pretend I don’t like you”. He never says “I want more from you”, which is a very standard thing people say when they want more out of a relationship.

Later in the episode we learn that something that kills Ilya is that everyone who never appreciated him always asks for “more, more, more”. Shane hears that but doesn’t understand, of course. It doesn’t matter that Ilya said it, because Shane didn’t understand it. And yet, he never asks Ilya for more. Even when he asks Ilya to come to his cottage, it’s not “do this for me”, it’s “it is going to be nice, you will be able to be yourself, to rest” and what Ilya hears is “I just want you, close to me. As you are. As the person you have been for 10 years. I just want you” and now im crying

This is amazing

mayflowersinapril:

✨ Lovers™️ ✨

Lovers. These boys.

jenderstudy:

“Shane has no grief or trauma” right that seems like an accurate assessment of an autistic, Asian, anxiety-riddled, closeted hockey player who’s been seeing his rival in secret for 7+ years while he battles coming to terms with his own sexuality and not letting down his family, team, or fans or letting it ruin his image. Right. Surely none of these things would affect his extremely well adjusted and normal mental health & wellbeing whatsoever. Hand over his character to me please

My shane

hollandershane:

#ilya will not be winning a single argument 🥺

Shane will take him down. And I mean that in multiple ways.

kaleidoscopic-quiddity:

one of the things that rlly Gets Me abt heated rivalry is that connor storrie and hudson williams are both hot as fuck right?? but theyre, like, actual normal people hot, not dehydrated airbrushed ozempic holywood hot

i’ve seen so many people thirst over shane’s (and thus hudson williams’) stretch marks and it’s like, it’s not some performative ‘omg hes SO brave for showing that on camera’ faux body positivity thing (i mean im sure there ARE posts like that, but ive not seen them), it’s that people, myself included, genuinely very much find the stretch marks on his butt and back and thighs to be HOT

and connor storrie too! he has moles and blemishes and some acne scars I think, and all of those skin 'imperfections’ only serve to make him look MORE attractive in my opinion, because he looks like a real regular hot person and not some airbrushed digitally tuned up super model

and it also just Gets Me so much that like, they’re both allowed to have body fat, shane and ilya are professional athletes who are very good at what they do, hudson williams and connor storrie have mentioned in interviews that they work out, but again, they look like NORMAL muscular people y'know?? they have fat rolls when they sit or twist in certain positions, connor storrie has muscular arms but you can visibly see that there’s a healthy layer of fat on his biceps too, hudson williams has a VERY nice v-line imo but he’s also got that little bit of pudge on his lower stomach that drives me (and probably loads of other people) crazy, there’s SO many gifsets of ilya grabbing handfuls of shane’s ass or of shane gripping onto ilya’s pecs, and that’s because both of them have the flesh/fat there TO grab

my point here is NOT that skinnier people are unattractive btw, or that people who are MORE muscular than those two are automatically unhealthy, but just that it’s incredibly pleasing and VERY hot to my gay little heart that heated rivalry could’ve had hudson williams and connor storrie bulk up and dehydrate themselves so they’d have unrealistic six packs, they could’ve digitally edited out or used makeup to get rid of 'imperfections’ like shane’s stretch marks or ilya’s moles, they could’ve cast established actors or models who are known for being Conventionally Sexy TM, but instead we got these two regular (extremely talented) guys, AND their natural bodies, and they look SO FUCKING GOOD

themoonandmyman:

The way Ilya turns his face away from Shane when he starts crying is so important and so devastating to me. I also spent most of my teenage years/early adulthood unable to express emotions safely without recourse, and it forces you to associate any emotion with weakness.

Ilya was told from all sides growing up that emotions like sadness and concern are reserved for ‘whiny faggots’. That his mother’s suicide was ‘accidental’ and him being unable to talk to anyone about what really happened, because that was his mother’s shame- his family’s shame.

He has to be strong. He has to be fearless and pragmatic and deflect every serious emotion with dismissal or humour.

When he turns away, he’s so raw and exposed and terrified of what’s going to happen, how Shane will react, and the relief when Shane doesn’t let him turn away? When he straddles him, kisses him, holds him? It’s palpable. His emotions are finally being validated- Shane is seeing his ‘weakness’ and not turning away.

Shane isn’t just holding Ilya. He’s holding Ilya’s inner child, telling him he’s okay, and he’s safe, and Shane won’t leave him the way everyone else has.

These boys

artsylou:

Thing is, i do believe Ilya when he says that Irina didn’t suck like the rest of his family. Whether from reading the book or watching the show, i believe him.

The proof? Ilya.

He’s gentle and respectful of consent and boundaries, he never made shane feel uncomfortable for how he folds clothes before hooking up even though he did find it amusing, or how shane felt uncomfortable with so many windows even tho they were on one of the higher floors, mind you that at that point their feelings for each other weren’t nearly as intense as its been later.

But he’s also funny and made shane laugh alot even when he was uptight and nervous, ragebaity on the ice yes (he’s still a hockey player after all) but he’s a good captain and knows how to uplift his team whether its with jokes or speeches that made ME want to win their game lmao, he’s always there for other people’s important moment ie after scott came out and his speech at the awards (when he met scott at the bar, in the books).

Its so obvious how caring he is at the hospital scene too, he went to check on shane while also mentioning how marleau feels bad for what happened and wanted shane to know that. In episode six, reassuring shane when his dad found them, told shane he’d of course go with him to his family with zero hesitation, was there for shane as just a quiet support until shane really needed him while panicking and ilya immediately jumped in to reassure him.

But, he also cared for his father who was absolutely terrible to him and his mother, whom he FOUND when she committed (thats an entire trauma of its own). He spent his summers in russia taking care of his father, when he was away he was sending an absurd amount of money over, made sure they eat the best of food and wear the best of clothes in the hopes that it would be good enough but it wasn’t and yet, and YET he still took care of them. Even after his father died and his brother being an ass, he’s leaving money for his niece because none of this is her fault. It also broke me how emotional he got when shane talked about the foundations he wants to donate too and his plan like, after all this time taking care of others he got shane (and the hollanders) taking care of him and making future plans with him in mind and it got to him.

But he’s also polite and respectful, he smiled at the nurse and said thank you, apologized to the bartender for his team being idiots, in episode six he’s respectful of shane’s family and dug into the food happily and said thank you for it later and also complimented the vodka they brought out. He played with the children at the all star weekend so beautifully and made them laugh and for god’s sake! He likes to spread joy.

So yeah i do believe that she was beautiful and funny because, even though it was for only twelve years, she raised him! and he is exactly the way he describes her. Strong and beautiful and funny despite the circumstances.

He’s proof that being kind is a choice you actively make every single day, that even with a shit upbringing or circumstances you can still be a good person because you choose to be. But also even though his mom left the battle at the end, she still powered through just like he is. Except he has Shane to be there for him while he fights his fight.

You can never make me hate Ilya Rozanov.

Irina. Feels like we knew a bit of you.

hrgifs:

ilya + shane’s chest

Yep

shilyashollanov:

Just Hollanov Things 1/∞

Cannot keep their hands to themselves

elderwanderer:

These boys