Rare Lifeskill posts

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
vaspider
simonalkenmayer

Watch this to learn how to put down toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny. As with “the kids these days are terrible” beginning circa prehistory (thanks Plato) this points to “men aren’t masculine anymore” and tracks it backward.

I keep saying nothing ever changes to those who know history.

greenjudy

DAMN

getvalentined

I'm reblogging this both for the excellent commentary and for the JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS T-SHIRT??? SIR WHERE DID YOU GET THAT

runephoenix6769

Yeah!! That Jem tee is bitching.

Pinned Post
vergess
most-definitely-human

Despite black men having twice the risk of prostate cancer, it said there should be no screening for black men due to "uncertainties" around its impact, and a lack of evidence from clinical trials in these men.  It also recommended no screening for men with a family history of the disease, for the same reason - too many cancers would be overdiagnosed and overtreated.  But men with specific genetic mutations called BRCA variants develop faster-growing and aggressive cancers at an earlier age, making screening for them justified.  Treating these cancers earlier is more likely to benefit those men and outweigh the potential harm from unnecessary treatment, compared to men in the general population, the experts said.ALT

This is genuinely so evil

  • Avoiding funding studies on black men specifically and then using the lack of studies as justification for denying care
  • There is even less screening for BRCA variants with no sign this will increase if this goes ahead
  • I work in primary care. We already have to justify that PSA screenings are necessary, and most of the people having the tests are actively pissing blood
  • Yes, prostate cancer treatment can cause incontinence and impotence- which is why most patients with less aggressive cancers are put on to active surveillance, and those that do need treatment make that choice with the full risks and benefits explained to them
  • The classic covid strategy of "If we don't test for it, numbers go down so we can just pretend it isn't an issue"
  • Using the fact that some of the people who have cancer on active surveillance may eventually need treatment as evidence of overtreatment- it reminds me of how puberty blockers are considered bad because most of the people on them will eventually transition

Prostate cancer is the most common cancer in men. Around 55,000 men are diagnosed with each year, and 12,000 men die from it in annually in the UK. That the government is being advised to deny people even the option of knowing whether they have it is such a huge step back for medicine.

theflashisgone

@doberbutts this feels relevant to the stuff you talk about, even if it's not specifically about trans black men.

doberbutts

Unfortunately black people being abandoned by medical staff is nothing new:

Black women are 3-4 times as likely than white women to die in pregnancy and childbirth. Black women are also twice as likely to develop diabetes and preeclampsia, 40% more likely to die from breast cancer, 40% more likely to develop and 75% more likely to die from cervical cancer, 20% more likely to be pushed into a C-section and overall receive nearly 30% less anesthesia and pain control than white women.

It is just sort of common knowledge that hospitals are to black women as police are to black men. Except police do target and kill black women, and hospitals do neglect and dismiss black men, as well.

You should look up the Tuskegee Syphilis Study sometime. You'll see that this is hardly the first time a country's government has deliberately played eugenics with black men's health.

canadianwheatpirates
gutsygills

mold pisses me off so much

oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food

tobiasdrake

I ran into this post years ago and to be honest, it has completely reoriented the way I engage with food.

Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.

But now I’m just like.

Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.

Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?

Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.

That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.

Life-changing.

should-be-sleeping
jasminesapphires

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

anarchistmemecollective

meme of a person looking extremely excited and surprised with caption "vincent van gogh?"
mentalhealthmemez

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notthegrouch

“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.” 

- Vincent van Gogh

d0vegum
un-monstre

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

un-monstre

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

jimmythejiver

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

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misti-step
android-boywife

it is so important that you are a little bit ugly. please get comfortable with having unplucked eyebrows and nonexistent jawlines and wrinkles. let your blue hair grow out into an uneven pale green and your clothes be old and mend them and modify them until they’re unique to you. wear lipstick which doesnt compliment your skintone and mismatched outfits which went out of fashion 5 years ago. be a little bit too loud and a little bit too passionate and as weird as you can be because oh my god there is nothing more disturbing to me than perfection. beauty is manufactured and sold to us and you need to realise that you are a fucking animal to live a joyful life I am so serious. you cant obsess over aesthetics forever please just live messily and make your body your home however you please.

if you dont do it for you, do it for all the teenagers who will see u in the street and know that they are not obligated to be attractive

down-sizing-redux
bitchesgetriches
apatosaurus

This is a long read, but worth it. Some takeaways:

-Don’t use “buy now pay later.” The fine print isn’t what it seems.

-The fine print on medical financing, store credit cards, and contactless payment is also not what it seems.

-Payday loans are still predatory, even when offered by your employer

-Rewards programs are an income stream for the companies that run them. The points systems are manipulated so that the house always wins. They depend on people leaving money in rewards accounts and not in interest-bearing traditional bank accounts.

-Electronic payment apps like VenMo are not banks. You don’t earn interest. Your money is not protected.

-Your financial information is not private if your money is not kept in a regulated bank.

-None of this is regulated by the FDIC. Your money is not protected if it is held by a non-bank doing banking business. Our economy is not protected from the collapse of financial institutions that are not banks.

-The Biden administration was making progress in increasing accountability for non-banks operating as predatory financial services providers. The current administration is reversing those protections to favor corporations.

mierac

Oh boy.

 A third of younger Americans hold their savings on nonbank tech platforms like Venmo

PEOPLE! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR MONEY IN VENMO OR APPLE PAY OR ANY OF THIS SHIT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO FIND A REAL BANK OR A CREDIT UNION.

If Venmo were to close tomorrow all your money would vanish. There's no insurance or guarantee on any of these things. I know banks aren't great but legit banks will have the "FDIC insured" logo on their doors and websites, which means if my bank goes under tomorrow I still get my money back. Also I guarantee you there is a credit union somewhere in your town, go find it.

You can leave some money in Venmo or Apple pay or whatever, but NOT ALL OF IT for the love of God.

jenniferdub

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FYI this is what the logo looks like and Apple Cash is FDIC insured.

idroolinmysleep

No, it's misleading. Go to Green Dot's T&Cs, search for "FDIC," and you'll come across this:

your funds are insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC in the event Green Dot Bank fails

In the event Green Dot Bank fails. Meaning the only time your money is protected is if Green Dot goes under. Not if Apple goes under (unlikely, granted). Or if Apple changes its terms (entirely possible). Or if you got scammed. Or if Apple freezes your account because they think you're the one scamming. Or any of the other countless mishaps your money could suffer. Green Dot is insured, but Apple Cash is not.

This is the disclaimer (highlighted) you see before you set up Apple Cash:

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heywriters

I really need my followers, especially younger ones, to read this.

And DO NOT get store credit cards, they are money sucks and difficult to cancel.

julevanwilde

As someone who's worked in the industry for a decade now, here's a quick rundown (US specific,) of what your schools and parents didn't teach you:

  1. For the love of god get an account at a federally insured institution. Look for FDIC (banks) or NCUA (credit unions) insured and regulated financial institution. They are legally required to have this status publicly available and accessible so it's not hard to find.
  2. The FDIC and/or NCUA will insure your accounts up to $250,000 PER AUTHORIZED SIGNER and per account type. These are factors to max your coverage to even higher than $250k but the key point is that if something happens to your bank or accounts there, that first $250k of your money is secured anyway.
  3. Banks are for profit. Credit Unions are exactly what it sounds like: unions. They are not for profit and member owned.
  4. Bigger institutions have more money and resources at their disposal; they have the fancier apps, 24/7 phone banking and more locations. But watch out! They are no different than any other large corporation you've heard of when it comes to ethics. Smaller institutions have more limitations, and lesser size is not an indicator of morality, but it's something to consider when choosing where to keep your money.
  5. These institutions, regardless of what kind you choose, will offer interest bearing accounts. Money Market Savings and Time Accounts (also called Certificates of Deposit,) are popular choices to put the money you already have to work for you. You can earn money just for having your money in an interest bearing account type.
  6. All financial institutions charge fees of one sort or another. They are offering products and services, after all. Nothing is free! They will also disclose options to avoid paying those fees, usually based around meeting specific criteria such as minimum balances or direct deposits.

Take this information and do your own research so that you can make an informed decision. Now you know what to look for! Don't be taken advantage of!

glorious-spoon
murraysiskind-deactivated202511

It’s so crazy that suicide prevention is just people going awwww don’t!! Awwww come on noooooooooo stopppppp

allhailklisz

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yokelfelonking

One of the best ones I saw was a thing noting that every single one of the few survivors of suicide jumps off of the Golden Gate Bridge realized, on the way down, that the problems they were killing themselves over actually were fixable or could be worked through...except for the now - extremely unfixable - problem of gravity.

authortobenamedlater

Went to the Holocaust Museum in DC once. There was a video interview of an Auschwitz survivor who said he and some other prisoners stayed up all night with a man who wanted to kill himself. The man didn’t kill himself and survived to liberation.

In the video the survivor said “Never seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And they’re all temporary problems.”

Hearing that from a guy who survived the Holocaust rewired my brain a little bit.

drgrlfriend

I think something a lot of people don't understand is that depression is not suicidality, and suicidality is not depression.

People can, and are, depressed without being suicidal, and sometimes suicidality peaks as people are emerging from depression.

Suicidality is a wave, and the trick is to allow that wave to crest and subside WITHOUT acting on it.

Whatever it takes to ride it out. For some people that's distraction, like watching television. For others it's calling a friend -- not to talk about the suicidality, but just to talk. For others it could be as simple as going to sit in a coffee shop or library, because the presence of other people is a huge diminisher of suicide risk.

That's what suicide safety planning is about. It's like having any other type of emergency plan, like a plan for fire or evacuation. It's making a plan when you are in the frame of mind to do so, so that you can just DO the plan without having to think about it when the occasion arises.

When you're in the midst of suicidal ideation, or even intent, you're not in a problem-solving mood. So knowing past!you, with the help of a therapist hopefully, came up with the plan and all you have to do is follow up until the wave crests and subsides, is what allows you to see another day.

ETA: Here's a link to a safety plan. https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/988-safety-plan.pdf

goldkirk

There’s a really compassionate and well-written paper/book/thing called Suicide: The Forever Decision that’s written specifically for people who are currently suicidal. The letter to the reader at the beginning is wonderful and deeply understands how to talk to someone who’s suicidal without preaching or talking down to them.

It’s very honest. It’s very clear. It’s very kind. It presents you with a lot of information and a lot of understanding and lets you take it all in like the autonomous human you are, and make decisions from an informed place. It goes over the reality of suicide attempts, pain involved, likelihoods of survival, after effects of attempts, and how to get help if you want it after reading all of that and learning about the reality of suicide attempts.

You can read it for free here: https://qprinstitute.com/pdfs/Forever_Decision.pdf


No one can ever stop you if you’re really determined. Only you can stop yourself. If you’re suicidal and there’s ANY tiny part of you that wants a chance to not go down that route, but can’t convince the rest of you yet, give this short book a try. Or share it with anyone you know who might need it.

mivolasvivi
lifeafterpsychiatry

Stop just asking "is it normal?" and start asking "is it harming anyone?" Lots of harmful things are normalized in this society and lots of things considered weird or rare are completely harmless. Whether something is considered normal or common shouldn't be the deciding factor in whether it's okay

lifeafterpsychiatry

Like a lot of disabled and neurodivergent and mentally ill ways of living and expressing yourself are both not normal and not harming anyone and it's the last part we should focus our attention on

yuri-puppies

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@heterodox-heterographer you've hit the nail in the head

eighthdoctor
isuggestusingyourlocallibrary

"I don't need the library because I don't read much." WRONG!!!

Your local library may be able to offer you:

- 3D printers

- a place to hang out

- articles, magazines, newspapers

- arts and crafts

- cassette tapes

- CDs

- chargers

- coloring pages

- computers

- DVDs

- fax machines

- food

- help filing paperwork

- help finding resources, support groups, or community activities

- phones

- printers

- puzzles

- seeds to plant

- sewing machines

- temporary housing / shelter

- VHS tapes

I suggest using your local library. So go check it out!