mphp
PSYCH. I'M NOT ACTUALLY SORRY, SUCKERS
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I'm 20+ btw 👍
icon by @ciricearts

cali:

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this is your captain baby crazy monkey speaking, we will be making a crash landing on your uglyass house

tarantula-hawk-wasp:

Shout out to the phrase “I’m going to become the joker” for capturing a very specific and real emotion

bowsersex:

Shaggy Rogers is a young adult human man that eats dog treats and his friends don’t even care. They act like it’s normal. Not only do they know he loves eating dog treats, but they know he’ll do scary dangerous shit just to eat dog treats, and they use that to their advantage. “Oh you don’t wanna get asbestos poisoning in the scary abandoned building? What if we fed you a dog treat?” And he says yes and he does it and eats it and they act like that’s a normal thing for a human guy to do. But then again, he also eats 10 feet tall sandwiches in one bite, so maybe he’s not even human. Still fucked up that they manipulate him like that though. But whatever. Forget I said anything.

myosotis-secunda:

bananonbinary:

katy-l-wood:

The Texas State Aquarium has taught their crow to play connect four and I am DELIGHTED.

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why does the texas state aquarium have a crow

it works there

imgdist0000:

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drawing people i see in the city (47/?)

lil dude also had the best conversation opener:

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perfectlyvalid49:

mariacallous:

One of the vaccines being DROPPED from the CDC schedule is for meningitis   MENINGITIS   One of THE most horrific, deadly infections you wouid ever have the misfortune to see   It can -and does - kill kids within hours   Dropped   To satisfy anti vaccine fantasies.  Sick. https://t.co/1jvJ0sksxk  — Neil Stone (@DrNeilStone) January 5, 2026ALT

I want to be very clear on this. You can be out drinking with your friends on Friday night and dead on Sunday because of meningitis. Does that sound a little specific? Guess why I have such a specific scenario in mind.

And getting vaccinated is an easy way to prevent that. There is no medical reason to stop recommending that vaccine. There’s no new study that shows that it’s unsafe, there’s no replacement that’s better. This is literally the government making its citizenry less safe for no reason.

sermna:

When you’re unsuccessfully looking for something and start gradually increasing your It Could Be There range. Like yeah sure maybe the rice cooker pot is in the freezer, idk

nefhertari:

papayajuan2019:

there used to be a website called weheartit

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pastel-remedy:

iamoutofideas:

new soundcloud rappers

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thevoidfromwhichnosoundescapes:

oblyvian:

So lately I’ve noticed all the different kinds of girls on tumblr. The ones that have the pictures with all the notes? These five types of girls are basically all the types of girls I see on my dash. Minus the nekked girls, but I didn’t really want to draw that so :T 

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wrenchinator-central:

alexaloraetheris:

tiktoks-for-dead-pope:

See, a scientist makes a little moisture sensor sensor for his plant to remember to water it.

But a mad scientist chooses that kind of audio.

Put this guy in castle Heterodyne, and they’d be best friends.

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shower-thoughts-last-responder:

yetanothergreyjedi:

boybeetles:

boybeetles:

You know technology literacy is dying because I saw this meme with 76k likes

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F11 the full screen button? You’re scared of the full screen button? F10?? It opens the menu bar???

Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖

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If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I’m glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don’t ever feel bad for not knowing something, but ☝️ don’t ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you

stargirl720:

mr-downer:

commanderchrist:

haven-of-grunkles:

somethingwickedthiswaylives:

howrutodayblog:

pokemon-chick-1personalblog:

strampunch:

mobians-and-emeralds:

coffeeandcursewords:

rootbeersweetheart:

usedtobehmc:

jamesbleach:

onceuponakhaleesi:

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

luckydreaming:

Are fedoras really that bad?

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YES YES THEY ARE

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

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I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

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Right..?

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The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

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I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

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Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

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WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

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oh boy…….

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Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

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Observe…

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IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

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And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

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I must test it.

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Nothing happening so far…

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HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

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What in the world?

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Oh why not? This should be interesting.

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Here we go!

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Were all mad here in Underland!

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What the hell! Never Again!

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… Actually …

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One more time.

the-masters-shadow hahahahahahahhaahhahahahaa pffffdf

This is such a beautiful thing

Jesus christ

Ah, man. What a great post. *ties ballsack tightly with a hemp rope* TAKE IT FROM HERE DELORES! *Delores the amazon dressed in tight leather puts on a pair of spiked high heels. She starts stomping the sack* Oh! Ow! Oh god! Fuck yeah in the sack! Thats my sack! Oof! Oh! The sack baby, OHH!

yo what the fuck happened to this post

I’m. I’m not the only one seeing this right. Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this.