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armand voice louis my love would you like to redecorate our bedroom. i’ve found some vertical lattice screens that would be lovely set up in a kind of obvious cage motif, and you don’t have to worry: they’re not at all symbolic
sure does suck how so many identical syllables in mandarin have entirely separate meanings. if only there were some system of symbols, each associated with an individual meaning, that would allow me to differentiate between them
gentlemen, i have made a most remarkable discovery. surely everything shall be easy from here
chen kaige directed farewell my concubine (1993). wong kar-wai directed happy together (1997). ang lee directed the wedding banquet (1993). what new queer cinema did zhang yimou do, huh?? loser ass
although now that i think about it the emperor’s relationship with broken sword in hero (2002) is pretty sus. no one else has seen your heart and understood you as fully as he did? is that what the kids are calling it these days??
when i say “this is so embarrassing but i’ve never seen pan’s labyrinth (2006)” i am not looking for the response “you’re right, that IS embarrassing”
you know what it WAS embarrassing that it took me so long
eastern european farmer: what are you doing with that pointy piece of wood
eastern european farmer’s son, holding the world’s worst homemade dildo, about to revolutionize vampire killing: oh, haven’t you heard?
chinese builder: why the fuck is the threshold like this
chinese builder’s apprentice, realizing he nailed the board in the wrong way, about to revolutionize vampire locomotion: oh, haven’t you heard?
hot tip!! if you commit a murder and have a distinctive custom engraved lighter, make sure you have it with you when you leave the scene of the crime
ok but it’s really funny in this film (blood simple (1984)), a character leaves his custom engraved lighter behind at the scene of the crime and then every single time a character goes to the scene of the crime the camera focuses on that shiny shiny lighter on the table and No One Ever Notices It
love rewriting movie/shows as reddit posts. like
r/AITA
when my coworker (36m) and i (41m) explored a distant planet for work, he fell in love with a girl (19f) there. AITA for leaving him with her instead of making him come back through the wormhole with me before it permanently closed?
r/confession
yes, i killed him. i killed him for money, and a woman. and i didn’t get the money, and i didn’t get the woman. pretty, isn’t it?
r/relationships
my younger brother (38m) seems very happy with his boyfriend (he used to be my brother’s age but honestly might be outside the concept of time now), but whenever they’re together they commit crimes. how do i support my brother while also stopping him breaking the law?
r/AITA
AITA for cooking meth to pay for my lung cancer treatments?





