*from my newly acquired dark throne* everyone let’s have a round of applause for the ancient accursed tome *a rattling of bones as my vast army of undead clap* and how about a little noise for the amulet tht made this all possible!! *groans of celebration from the brainwashed wraiths of all those who stood in the way of me & my amulets goals fill the air*
everyone needs to start reblogging this & not simply liking it my new obsidian diadem tht came w the dark throne has told me so
I can’t remember where I first heard it, but here’s a joke that’s lived rent free in my head for years:
two friends, a Jew and a Christian, are talking about holiday customs.
the Jew says “on Rosh Hashanah, it’s traditional to blow the shofar 30 times”
the Christian looks at him awkwardly and says “wow. all we give our chauffeur on Christmas is a bottle of wine.”
shana tova everyone
really enjoying the fact that people have said “this too is Torah”, “y'all need Jesus”, and “by Allah you people are dogs” in the notes. I hit the Abrahamic tumblr trifecta
This is the single best video of a loon I’ve ever seen. Do you people realize how rare it is to see them that close? How rare it is to see them in that shallow of water? Incredible catch.
romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering
finding the strength to walk home from the library at 3am in the freezing rain by imagining yourself as a Napoleonic soldier hightailing it from Moscow in 1813
ALT
