I Am Completely Serious

Abbreviation Components Depositing behavior and natural function Proposed synthetic function Feline facial pheromones F1 Oleic acid, caproic acid, trimethylamine 5-aminovaleric acid, n-butyric acid, α-methylbutyric acid Unknown None F2 Oleic acid, palmitic acid, propionic acid, p-hydroxyphenylacetic acid ✜ Male mate display, sexual facial marking ✜ T om cats rub their face on objects near a sexually active female, depositing the F2 pheromone ✜ Potentially improves the effectiveness of a male’s sexual display None F3 Oleic acid, azelaic acid, pimelic acid, palmitic acid ✜ Object rubbing ✜ May be used by cats to orient themselves spatially ✜ Cats mark known objects and commonly used areas in their space ✜ Reduce negative scent-marking behaviors including urine spraying and scratching ✜ Reduce stereotypic behaviors such as excessive grooming ✜ Reduce anxiety ✜ Improve feeding, activity and play behavior F4 5β-cholestan acid 3β-ol, oleic acid, pimelic acid, n-butyric acid ✜ Allorubbing; deposited in social situations where cats rub conspecifics, humans or other species ✜ Cats commonly engage in this marking behavior in the presence of familiar individuals ✜ May promote affiliative behavior that signals the decreased likelihood of aggression from the individual None (previously proposed for a synthetic analogue but nothing commercially available) F5 Palmitic acid, isobutyric acid, 5-aminovaleric acid, n-butyric acid, α-methylbutyric acid, trimethylamine, azelaic acid, p-hydroxyphenylacetic acid Unknown None Feline appeasing pheromone FAP Lauric acid, myristic acid, stearic acid, linoleic acid, oleic acid, valeric acid, azelaic acid, pimelic acid, palmitic acid ✜ Produced by the queen during lactation ✜ Reassures kittens and promotes bonding to mother ✜ Reduce social tension and conflict between cats living in the same home ✜ Alleviate stress behavior during introductions to new cats or changes in environment Feline interdigital semiochemical FIS Two fractions: 1 (Most common) Linoleic acid, valeric acid, lactic acid 2 Propionic acid, cyclohexylacetic acid, cyclopentylpropionic acid ✜ Scratching behavior ✜ Deposited from the plantar pad glands onto the object ✜ Scent may accumulate on scratched area as scratching events occur more frequently ✜ May help form an olfactory reference point for the individual ✜ Address inappropriate scratching in the home by redirecting scratching to a desired location T able 1 Recognised feline pheromones and semiochemicals4,16–19

Vitale, Kristyn R. “Tools for Managing Feline Problem Behaviors: Pheromone therapy.” Journal of feline medicine and surgery vol. 20,11 (2018): 1024-1032. doi:10.1177/1098612X18806759

Two against one… has the red string no sense of honor…?

picture of my confused orange cat Dupe which thegeekgene texted to a friend

Left: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Left: Sam. Left: His precious face! Right: Yes Left: I love him. He's perfect. Right: Sarah says "that's true" Left: Look at that sweet face. Does he have thoughts? Brain? Left: Who cares.

Reviewed by @thegeekgene and colleague

The cross-eyed orange longhair is the saddest animal ever to exist. No other creature can hope to match him at looking betrayed and wounded. I turn on the light outside the back door; he is standing there looking at me; I understand that I have never committed a graver sin than this. I made it too bright for his glitchy little eyes and it’s not fair.

“Your cat trying to steal my fuckign car”

- text to my parents

When your confused orange cat has a runny nose, he will become more confused than usual; and, thus, more like himself; and, thus, more orange.

The 3rd-worst thing that you can do to a cat is sit and read out on the porch, where he can see you from the window, but can reach you only with his voice (forlorn).

The 2nd-worst thing that you can do to a cat is also the porch thing, but with headphones on.

Bu Cat is sitting silently on my legs, refusing to be petted; Dupe Cat jumps onto my stomach; Bu immediately starts purring; after a few seconds, Dupe does the same.

“I’m in charge here”

@thegeekgene lies down in Bu’s spot; Bu responds to this; I respond to Bu.

You're back...

おかえり...

Do you know what time it is...?

何時間なの? 知ってるの...?

This is not allowed because that shelf is disintegrating, but I can't get him down without heightening the risk of it collapsing on us.

Their eyes meet over the mess they made on the carpet.

This is not allowed because that shelf is disintegrating, but I can’t get him down without heightening the risk of it collapsing on us.

He is SO GOOD at looking confused. A genius.

I don’t know what the cats did with the kale seedlings. They’re just completely gone.

I think the reason Bu purrs “for” Dupe when I’m petting Dupe might be… to remind Dupe to purr. Sometimes Dupe will be doing the happy eyes-closed face and kneading me as I rub his nose, but making no sound… until he hears Bu start purring on the other side of the couch. Then he starts purring himself.

Conclusion: Bu is trying to teach his orange child social skills.

#cats

“Your cat trying to steal my fuckign car”