I feel you because it’s the same with me. I forgive China (and sometimes Japan) for dynamics I would NEVER let slide from Korea, Thailand, Taiwan, or the Philippines.

This show’s core dynamic is to me, no different then say, the one between Rain and Phayu. Yet I LOATHE that couple still even after a recent rewatch, purely for their dynamic, where I found Rain annoying, and Phayu to be just awful for his boundary pushing.

Let’s talk uke first:

Why do I react better to Suo Wei’s whiny-ness than to Rain’s?

Because Sou Wei’s (and China’s tsundere ukes in general) are conscious and intentional in what they are doing within the context of the burgeoning relationship. Even the ones who aren’t as outright manipulative as Sou Wei, are always weaponizing their uke-ness. They are just that little bit more self-aware than ukes out of other countries. CBL ukes are often both a little bit (or a lot) special and especially clever.

Think about it.

Back to the beginning in 2014 with Mai Ding in Like Love or Bai Luo Yin in Addicted, China has a tradition of smart, even extraordinary, uke characters. More recently Sheng Wang in The On1y One (which had many of us in a similar chock hold as Revenged).

The Wuxias do it too.

Both the Untamed and Word of Honor featured ukes with special powers - abilities possibly beyond even the seme leads (who tend to fall into “the utra rich ultra special” masculine ideal of the time and setting).

There is an innate cleverness to Chinese uke characters. This gives them their own brand of power.

It makes them much more relatable and appealing and less whiny. It makes them a touch aspirational (we see ourselves and them, or want to) and also the archetype of bratty subs, rather than simply submissives with no backbone.

They are more active characters; stronger, with more autonomy and narrative agency. Thailand often has their ukes be too innocent and/or sunshine to the point it comes off as not just naiveté but weaponized incompetence. We find them way more annoying as a result.

Why do I like the pushing and aggression in Revenged Love, but not when Phayu does it?

Because it’s met with actual (usually pretty successful) resistance.

In their very archetypal way the semes in CBLs are better matched to their ukes. There is no railroading possible (literally, figuratively, or euphemistically).

What we watch and enjoy in CBLs is that the power play is just that, play. It’s cat and mouse, but in a Tom & Jerry way. There is a game going on between the leads in CBLs, and yes it’s a game of sexual dominance but also wit.

I first noticed this happening to me in TharnType, where I just didn’t mind the dub-con or seme/uke stuff there either, so I don’t think it’s a MAME thing.

Hum I think that’s because Type is very much someone who gets his own back - often physically. You’re probably responding to the uke’s ability to forge his own destiny… character agency.

Is it the acting? Are they making different acting choices that you can notice?

Possibly, but I am tempted to say it comes more down to the characters as initially conceived.

Is it the characters? Do Suo Wei and Type have more backbone than Rain despite all three being lawn chairs for their semes?

In a word, yep.

Because the CBL ukes have so much cleverness and agency, the seme’s claiming, yearning, and thirst is going to be much harder to appease (pun intended).

We know with most CBLs we are in for a push/pull battle. It’s going to be hard fought. The push is going to have to be harder and more agro because the uke’s defense is going to be tougher and better strategized. We enjoy watching that emotional (sometimes physical) battle play out on our screens, because both characters are such active participants in the romantic game of it all.

It’s the same reason enemies to lovers is so popular.

The seme is going to be put through the wringer and pushed to the limits of his self-control, and since they usually set him up as the masculine epitome of Alpha reserve, watching him crumble on the alter of a delightfully smart brat is just that much more fun.

On the flip side, BLs where the power play is off or too unbalanced in the seme’s favor, usually need to make the uke suffer needlessly for the seme’s desire, and that can feel unfair and annoying.

I personally always prefer my semes to suffer. It’s one of the reasons I like hyung romances where the younger character is the aggressor, from places like Japan, Thailand, and Korea. If the seme is, by default, in a weaker social position, he’s going to have to work a lot harder.

A show like Korea’s Love Mate has an extremely aggressive younger seme who edges into dubious consent and stalking but I don’t mind it because it has this CBL-ish component in play: the uke being older, smarter, and the boss, actually holds all the cards. So our seme really has to work for it.

This kind of power match up (a dominant traditionally powerful seme versus clever rebellious special uke) is, simply put, one of the most fun dynamics to watch play out on our screen. And China is, regrettably, one of the best at it.

That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.

(source)