“ron isn’t good for hermione, he can’t offer her intellectual stimulation or adequate emotional and financial support” or in this lighthearted defence of ron weasley, let’s take a peek at the brightest wizards who can match the ‘brightest witch of her age’, as true to canon. (ps: that literally means of her age, not of the epoch, thanks!)
draco malfoy? pretty classist and racist, doesn’t find her attractive, phew. lower down the class ladder than her, and evidence suggests he’s got 3 owls while ron’s got 7. she’s used to holidaying in france and the alps. is she angling for a rich man to spoil her and a morosexual to boot? feminism’s dead. he’s too busy egging harry and ron on, paying them yearly visits on the train and hurling insults at them, instead of snapping at profs and decimating the haters bullying her. she’s too busy tuning him out or wrangling her boys. none of his antics make her laugh or smile, smh, how will their romance survive? oh, he may end up losing a good chunk of malfoy fortune to war reparations, and the manor where she was branded a mudblood may trigger her ptsd…
tom riddle? she doesn’t dare call him voldemort until dh, has a minor fit any time harry or ron’s ready to draw blood, and she’s afraid of blood too. if harry’s anger and meanness intimidate her, we fear what tom’s fury, general air of malevolence, and murderous inclinations would wrought. she’s a law-abiding person who deeply respects authority and dumbledore, shuns illegal and unsanctioned knowledge, and has no great power to her name or lineage or magic, er, tom’s deathly allergic to all that. he’s been pushing the boundaries of his magic as a wee child and hungers for creativity, experimentation, and the unknown. he wants to bend and remake the limits, she’s averse to challenging the written word, limits, or thinking outside the box. she may have a ruthless streak, but he’s far surpassed her criminal aspirations and thirst for knowledge at fifteen. tom goes from being a poor shop boy to a wanderer to a parasite, then a non-paying guest in his minions’ houses. he’s also an awkward romancer who basically relied on his looks, not words or charm, to seduce hepzibah smith. to rub salt in the wound, he lost his pretty face, nose, and hair somewhere along the way (no amount of hyaluronic acid can ever rejuvenate his skin). no reliable moneymaker, silver-tongued romeo, or genuine humour in this one, sorry. he just as likely has no interest in a muggleborn straitlaced bluestocking; no creative spark or spectacular feats, yaawn. tom would hotfoot it to albania ahead of schedule instead if she doesn’t flee first.
sirius black? she’s not enthused about him outside his role as harry’s godfather. she tries (and fails) to psychoanalyse him in ootp, and he can’t stand nagging bc his ears are already ringing from walburga, molly, and kreacher’s dulcet tones. he’s a hoity toity pureblood who’s mistreating his house elf, an examplary prime offender in spew’s book of code. he’s a risk taker and doesn’t care much for rules (or the law), which is totally against her principles. his cavalier, intellectual arrogance grates on her by-the-book sensibilities, and he doesn’t need books to inform him what he knows or shouldn’t do. most importantly, he famously doesn’t give a toss for anyone whose last name isn’t potter, often coming off as a cold, condescending prick, sorry.
perhaps… albus dumbledore? a smart and distinguished scholar who’s rather doting on her, very well-respected, and inspires hatred and fear in voldemort. not only is he sympathetic to her causes, he also enjoys a bit of cunning in a partner. uhm, the caveat is he’s old enough to be her grandfather, but see, young dumbledore (tall, lean, and redhead) had grand plans for muggle subjugation so zilch chances there. a wiser, older albus is much preferred here. or could he take a de-aging potion to return to his dashing auburn-haired glory to match her freak? but, does he classify as a morosexual? perhaps his murky past is a deal breaker? or will he, like tom, tire of her rigid ways of practising magic? no art of whimsy and creativity to fan the flames of academic raptures, he may yet perish from tedium. and his sartorial choices certainly do him no favour, but love conquers all, and he’s the only intellectual who canonically values her cleverness and indulges her…
(ron canonically resembles bill, so he’s tall, handsome, funny, smart, and protective—he’s only lacking funds, but she’s rich enough for them. let her be a sugar mama. he’s also been raised to help his mum around the house so chore-averse he is not. dream guy, tbh. hermione deserves a devoted malewife. but we all deserve a ron.)
for all intents and purposes, this is for shit and giggles and gentle ron wealsey appreciation.
sent by Anonymous
