this is all sorts of things blog now, mainly star trek, ace attorney and whatever I find funny or interesting in that moment. i am unhinged in my enjoyment of things :)
here is my gift-buying advice,. it NEVER steers me wrong. i got it from an episode of News Radio where andy dick buys Bill Gates a ball of twine. if you have someone to buy a ift for who doesnt need anything and hasnt ASKED for anything:
dont buy them what they want. people want garbage. you want garbage,. and then when you get it you dont like it. dont ask them what they want either, they dont know. you want to get them something they will not buy for themselves
think about what they would actually use. this can be a replacement for something they used to use that broke, but not an ‘upgrade’ unless they have specifically expressed wanting a new one. do not buy anything that could be construed as you criticising their way of doing something. if tthey are currently doing something the wrong way and are aware there is a right way but dont do it, there’s a reason
think about what they have room in their space to store. when you give someone a gift it becomes an obligation to them regardless of how much they like the gift. they have to store it, look at it, and interact with it, they have to thank you for it too. keep this in mind. small or flat and non-fragile items are best. for example if someone expresses a desire for a houseplant, i will often give them a clone of one of my impossible to kill grandmother plants and then tell them go ahead and kill it, there’s plenty more where that one came from and the mother plant doesnt care. never give someone an obligation or strings attached to a gift unless you hate them. do not ask them if they like it or if they’re using it afterwards, either. they’ll tell you if they do. if not it’s better to let it slide
think about situations where they coudl easily and pleasantly use this gift but which they have not thought of themselves. for example your straight male roommate probably doesnt have a fucking bathrobe
think about things they already choose to spend time on and enjoy. for example, my mom said she was starting to think about her novel but didnt know where to start. i bought her a pack of really nice index cards and told her about Nabokov’s method of writing sentences and then freely arranging them. index cards are good for everything, not just novel writing. theyre cheap, flat, dont expire, and are visually neutral, and cheap. plus she likes stationery a lot anyway. GREAT gift.
keep it cheap (again this is for someone who doesnt want/need anything). expensive gifts are too much of an obligation for everyone involved and usually more stressful than helpful unless someone needs something specific (like a computer or phone)
do not buy them anything decorative. decorations are way too personal. the expectation is that they have to display it in their house forever or you might get your feelings hurt. bad gift
“i really liked this item/product/tool so i got one for you too because you have the same use case that i do” is a really good gift if you know this is the situation. for example maybe you and your sister have the same skin tone and you found a blush that looks great on your skin. maybe you and your friend both like fountain pens and you found an ink you really like. maybe you and your mom both get migraines and you found an icepack you really like. etc.
SUMMARY: buy them something they havent thought of themselves, wont buy for themselves, but have a pre-existing use case for. you will look like a genius and get lots and lots of thank yous. keep it small and inexpensive and easy to throw away/store/hide in case they politely do not like it. that’s my method and it has never failed me since ive started doing it
to be so honest neither are looking great but sometimes u gotta make tough decisions. nobody tell my crew about this btw
65 notes
⬜ crewmate-238-deactivated12109
the sirens are dangerous to YOU. i understand them though. we are holding hands and singing and they’re not even eating me
🧜♀️ siren.girl.40 Follow
no we’re not
⚔️ 0restes
OP being deactivated really adds something here
🎵 demodocus.sings.a.lotFollow
the sirens killed him
🐅 circe.without.mercy
62,234 notes
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
just fucked up so bad i met queen helen from sparta and called her “helen of troy” in front of her husband who literally spent ten years fighting a war to get her back FROM TROY. about to throw myself into the sea
💅 face.that.launched.1000.shipsFollow
omg no worries babygirl come back anytime :))) happens to everyone
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
was no one going to tell me helen of troy had a tumblr
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
FUCK i did it again
56,329 notes
⬜ crewmate-24-deactivated9823
for real though has anyone seen elpenor
#i could have sworn he was with us when we were at circes??
4 notes
⬜ crewmate-438-deactivated5764
dreaming of burger made of helios’ cattle rn. mmm
⛰️ oracle-at-delphiFollow
it is actually insane that people are reblogging this. do you know how disrespectful this is to helios and to all of the gods?? those are literally sacred cattle, i shouldn’t be seeing odysseus’ crew blogging about how they want to make them into burgers. it’s not funny and it’s not a joke.
#it was gonna be such a perfect day for a bbq but its stormy all the sudden #:( #oh well i guess we will just eat our burgers inside
20,572 notes
🐗 antinous420
how long could it possibly take to weave a fucking shroud
📷 ithaca-fact-checkerFollow
fun fact! it can actually take 1,543 years to weave a burial shroud for one’s father in law, depending on the materials, style, and craftsman!
🤴 telemakhos.of.ithaka
ayyy ithaca fact checker i missed you
🐗 antinous420
who the hell is running this account
#that has to be a joke right #otherwise that would mean that like only an immortal could weave these #ik athena is goddess of weaving but she cant be the only one doing it #right???
322 notes
🏐 what.up.its.nausica
not the random naked man i found on my shore who i almost got betrothed to beingodysseus king of ithaca are you KIDDING me
actually disgusting that people are still following @/calyps0 when she literally kept odysseus captive on her island for seven years. yes odysseus is incredibly problematic and he should be held accountable for actions. yes i dont support what he did to polyphemus and i will block anyone who said that was deserved. but he literally has a wife and son he needs to get back to and it’s disgusting that she tried to impede him like this
🏖️ calyps0Follow
hey what was going on when he stayed at your place for a year
🏖️ calyps0 Follow
lmfao she blocked me
#girl this situation is messyyyy
16,422 notes
🦉 goddess-of-wisdom
why is everyone so mad at odysseus. he’s just a silly little guy. my silly little mortal. he does tricks. free him
🔱 earthshakerFollow
he blinded my son
🦉 goddess-of-wisdom
ok??? have you considered that maybe your son was being a little bitch
45,890 notes
🚣♂️ captain.odysseus
lmfaoooo ive been sending anon hate to polyphemus and he still doesn’t know it was me, odysseus, son of laertes sacker of cities king of ithaca who lives at ithaca palace and is currently sailing home on the aegean sea. click the read more to track my voyage home
Read more
#what are you gonna do about it big guy #nobody cares
5,738 notes
👁️pol.y.phe.musFollow
when i find whoever it is that is sending me these you are going to be so sorry
3 notes
👑 queen-penelope-official
like this post if you want to be included in the archery contest tomorrow!
#may the best shot win!
108 likes
🍽️ suitor-37
anyone noticed the quality of penelope’s wines at ithaca palace has kind of sucked lately
🕶️ ordinary.beggar.dont.worryFollow
i have a strong feeling that you won’t have to worry about this for much longer :)
an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is “the angel’s lament”, my new cocktail
Her name was Judy-Lynn del Rey. And she became the most powerful editor in science fiction history.
Born in 1943 with achondroplastic dwarfism, Judy-Lynn grew up devouring science fiction in New York City’s public libraries. At a time when the genre was dismissed as pulp fiction for teenage boys, she saw something else entirely: the future of storytelling.
She started at the bottom—an office assistant at Galaxy, the most prestigious science fiction magazine of the 1960s. Within four years, she was managing editor.
Then Ballantine Books came calling.
When she arrived at Ballantine in 1973, science fiction and fantasy were afterthoughts in publishing. Fantasy in particular was considered unsellable—unless you were Tolkien. Judy-Lynn thought that was nonsense.
Her first major move was audacious: she cut ties with one of Ballantine’s bestselling authors, John Norman, whose “Gor” novels were popular but notoriously misogynistic. It was a risk. She didn’t care.
Then came the gamble that changed everything.
In 1976, someone brought her an opportunity: the novelization rights to an upcoming space movie by a young director named George Lucas. Hollywood thought the film would bomb. Studio executives were skeptical. Most publishers passed.
Judy-Lynn said yes.
The Star Wars novelization sold 4.5 million copies before the movie even premiered.
She would later call herself the “Mama of Star Wars.”
In 1977, she launched Del Rey Books—her own imprint, with her husband Lester editing fantasy while she oversaw everything else. Their first original novel was Terry Brooks’s The Sword of Shannara. It became a phenomenon.
She didn’t stop there.
Remember The Princess Bride? The original 1973 novel had flopped. It was headed for obscurity. Judy-Lynn rescued it, reissuing it in 1977 with a striking gate-fold cover and an aggressive marketing campaign. Without her intervention, there might never have been a movie.
She published the Star Trek Log series. She championed Stephen R. Donaldson’s Thomas Covenant trilogy—convincing Ballantine to release all three books on the same day from a completely unknown author. Unprecedented.
She published Anne McCaffrey’s The White Dragon—the first science fiction novel ever to hit #1 on the New York Times bestseller list.
And she did all of this while competitors called her imprint “Death-Rey Books"—because she was utterly dominant.
Between 1977 and 1990, Del Rey Books had 65 titles reach bestseller lists. That was more than every other science fiction and fantasy publisher combined.
Arthur C. Clarke called her "the most brilliant editor I ever encountered.”
Philip K. Dick went further: “The greatest editor since Maxwell Perkins"—the legendary editor of Hemingway and Fitzgerald.
But here’s what burns: the science fiction community never nominated her for a Hugo Award while she was alive. Not once. The men who ran the industry praised her in private and overlooked her in public.
In October 1985, Judy-Lynn suffered a brain hemorrhage. She died four months later, at 42.
Only then did the Hugo committee vote to give her the Best Professional Editor award.
Her husband Lester refused to accept it.
He said Judy-Lynn would have objected—that it was given only because she had just died. That it came too late.
He was right.
Judy-Lynn del Rey transformed science fiction from a niche hobby into a cultural force. She made fantasy into a mainstream publishing category. She bet on Star Wars when no one else would. She saved The Princess Bride from oblivion. She published the first #1 New York Times science fiction bestseller.
She did all of this standing 4'1” tall in an industry run by men who underestimated her at every turn.
The next time you pick up a fantasy novel, or watch a Star Wars movie, or quote The Princess Bride—
the problem with being kind of unashamedly a weird guy is that its still kind of hurtful when people treat you like you’re weird. like yeah man I know you perceive me as very eccentric and an iconoclast but if you’re constantly reacting to me like I’ve grown two heads and said something totally insane every time I open my mouth. I uh. I am not gonna feel especially welcomed in your life. you know.
[Image ID: Tumblr reply from swampGirl13 reading: I don’t feel shame over my weirdness but for some reason other people decide to feel it for me /End ID]
