she/her || 25+ yo || 🇧🇷 || AuDHD || I'm @Purplely on AO3 || header and pfp by the amazing @blueberry-ink-93

I love all of my mutuals, but I have a special place in my heart for those I have absolutely NO common interest with. I don’t even remember how we became mutuals in the first place. But we’re just here, vibing together. I’m happy for them, they’re happy for me. This is how all human coexistence should be.

ash-rigby:

mutuals even if I don’t talk to you much/at all, when I see you on my dash I’m doing this

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maximumqueer:

The selfish aspect to Penelope’s refusal to remarry is so important to me.

Because yes, there is also the aspect of her wanting to prevent her son from coming to harm at the hands of the suitors, both early on during the Odyssey, as well as what we can infer before those events. Telemachus had not yet come into his own - either as a man per the time period, or as the fully realized version of his character. Penelope had no guarantee that, were she to marry and leave the house, that the other suitors would leave as well. They, seeking another prize, having being denied her, could very well have continued with their plot to kill Telemachus and divide up the house. Or, if she remained and the man were to take over as head of the house, she similarly had no guarantee that said man would treat her, her son, or any of the maids with respect. Part of her reasoning is to keep Telemachus safe, to ensure he is neither harmed nor killed, his processions divided up and shared among the suitors.

However, as the narrative as the Odyssey continues, and as Telemachus comes into his own, proves himself as a character no longer needing - or dependent on - parental protection, this reasoning for her postponing - for stalling - her marriage becomes more tenuous, if not just completely unnecessary. But what I love about Penelope is that this is not her only reason. Sure, she cares for her son, but beyond that, she just simply refuses marriage on the notion that she, beautifully, selfishly, wants no one in bed with her other than Odysseus. At some point, the pain of the suitors wasting away the substance of the house becomes secondary to the pain she feels, the grief she feels, due to the absence of Odysseus. She wants him and refuses to fully buy into the notion that he is dead, even if all roads of thought point to that. She will cling - perhaps delusionally, perhaps selfishly - to the idea that he is still out there, still alive, still capable of making his way back to her.

And I love that, I love that she is a character defined by selfish wants in this way. Yes, she wants Odysseus back for many reasons, but the centerpiece, the one closest to her heart, is her own personal longing. It does not matter that her refusal at the end of the Odyssey is more so harming her son, his inheritance wasted by greedy, overweening men, because to remarry would be a declaration of Odysseus’ death, and force her to act against her own wishes. She had weighed the pain of both in her heart, and deemed that the pain of loosing even the potential of being reunited with Odysseus greater than the pain of the suitors wasting their wealth, so she stays still, stalls, as her world that she tried so desperately to hold together with tricks and guile slowly but surely falls apart around her. Until she has no choice but to declare the challenge, hoping beyond hope that her hunch is correct, and the beggar is her husband, her selfish desire personified, returned finally, putting an end to her suffering.

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okay but imagine a hector thats like patroclus.

theyre both very similar really. theyre kind to slaves and everyone mourns them. theyre both two of the most important people in the trojan war who die. theyre both animal lovers in some way. theyre both godlike.

but in appearance. what if they had similar curly hair, similar build, similar crooked noses, a stubble on their chin?

hector already feels like he killed himself when patroclus’ body hits the ground, not just in fate, in mind too. achilles feels as though he killed patroclus when he kills hector.