Pax Hamburgana

A ruler's greatest wealth is not cows or land. It is the number of customers under his control, subjects who work, consume... others to be used as pawns in the fast-food wars. For a capitalist ruler... his people's money becomes his money. And what do rulers use to bring people together? Hamburgers... In Old Testament it is written that only one single dish was eaten in Eden. They shared dinner that united all of humanity. Mankind eventually grew aware of its power and harnessed that strength to build a tower to the heavens. The Mighty Tower of Burgers. This angered God, who splintered the food of man, and the tower was never consumed. New foods emerged and Earth was divided as men went their separate ways. A ruler's first order of business after conquering new land is to force his nourishment on its people. Napoleon tilled the land, then began planting the grain and the vegetables. Eventually, American capitalism became the new instrument. To play its game of wealth, you only have to abide by one rule... Pax Hamburgana.