we are simply and encorageably the matherfakers

Just don't go:

1. WOMEN IN FULL ON BUTTFLOSS THONGS SHOWING OFF. I swear to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god, its not like swimwear growing up, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ these days have absolutely no shame about full on showing asscheek in butt floss IN PUBLIC. It's just too much. IT MAKES NO SENSE THAT CHILDREN CAN SEE THESE ♥♥♥♥♥♥ IN A THONG IN PUBLIC, BUT YOU PUT MILEENA IN A THONG IN A MODERN VIDEO GAME YOURE AN INCEL AND SHOULD DIE.
2. Shirtless Low Inhib Chads. Not only do you have these skanks running around, you have Chads with 8 packs everywhere making sure you feel their genetic superiority. These hooligans often workout in public like circus performers, only instead of tips, they want sex.
3. Massively wealthmogged. On top of the massive looks and low-inhib mogging everyone in the beach is insanely rich, they all showed up to the beach in Porsches and the beaches are lined with houses that are over 10 million dollars inhabited by low-inhib boomer degenerates that have spiritual ♥♥♥♥♥♥ 30 years younger than them barbecuing shrimp in a bikini. As well as all those cocaine yacht degenerates.
4. Stupid children that run into your crotch these kids are not watched over by their parents at all. These kids are more feral than dogs and have zero attention span, they will run about in every direction unpredictably, and do completely inappropriate things all the time like moon each other or run into your crotch, and its nightmare fuel since TCAP style pedo vigilantes are everywhere.
5. Ugly people. While there are a lot of hot ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the beach, there are also extremely fat ugly people that have no business showing that much skin in public, and they are disgusting to look at.
6. Drugs and homeless-- this is everywhere but at the beach they are even more entitled mainly because the homeless at the beach tend to be entitled whites that probably deserved to lose it all for being a piece of ♥♥♥♥. These are the kind of homeless that ask for $5, not 'anything'

ITS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ RIDICULOUS HOW HUMANS ACT SO DIFFERENTLY JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE NEAR A BODY OF WATER. IT MAKES NO SENSE

I would go further to state that there is a high correlation between being 'beach-ready' and being a bonafide sex haver. When you have the ability to fit in the beach, it's a sign that you are ready enough to slap your photos on a dating app and get laid on tinder like a normie no problem. If you can't do normie things on a beach, you simply are an incel, or at best, can only date sub-5s. Here are some abilities a 'beach ready' person has:

GET READY FOR THE BEACH PILL:

1. Physical fitness + LOW-INHIB. You look good shirtless and have the confidence to walk around shirtless. You are not too pale. You have abs, you are are relaxed and smile like a surfer dude that woke up to a BJ. You are shirtless with plausible deniability. It's not like you are a tryhard running shirtless in the city. It's a natural place to be shirtless and show off your pecs.
2. You have both time AND money. It costs money to go to the beach. While most don't live near the beach, it's still costly in terms of fuel & parking, getting food or drinks near the beach comes at a premium. You have to buy accessories for beach sports, beach towels, swimsuits, surfboards, etc. You also have a lot of time, time to get to the beach and enjoy it. Time to work on your bod to be beach ready. Time to relax.
3. You probably have FRIENDS to go to the beach with. Most beach goers don't go alone, they HAVE FRIENDS, so they can play a big vollyball game, or have a public dance party and grind each other in public. Thru your friend group you have easy access to drugs like cocaine and ecstasy. As well as premium alcohol like Veuve Cliquot. You know how to use a barbeque, and you know exactly the kind of EDM music to attract a crowd of normies to turn them into sex zombies.
4. You are skilled at various beach sports, boat knoweldge, and know CPR. You are TALL ENOUGH to play volleyball and slap a ball down a midget's neck. If a ♥♥♥♥♥ drowns in the water, you have the ability to swim out there like aquaman and save her.
5. You are worldly. You dont frequent just one beach, you are a connesseiur of various beaches all over the world, you've been to beaches in Thailand, in Fiji, in Hawaii, and can talk at length about the differences of water and sand quality, as well as have sex life perspective on the beach sluts of beaches all over the world.
6. You have things to do on a summer holiday on the 4th of July, LIKE GO TO THE BEACH WITH YOUR FRIENDS TO HAVE SEX.
7. You DONT HAVE AUTISM. What you don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ see for miles at a beach are autists. Nobody brings their gaming laptop to a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ beach. Just people with extrovert 'beach personalities' that have the ability to 'read' each other's sexuality with no oral communication whatsoever. Beach people like to be around other low-inhib beach people and they all ♥♥♥♥ each other to spread STDs and cocaine and its great.
8. You are probably white, or white-adjacent. Lets face it. Minorities teach their children to swim at massively lower rates due to lack of access to pools, and ability to vacation in general, on top of having negative buoyant bodies. Having a relationship with water is an important part of WHITE CULTURE. White people experience the four seasons in it's fullness and live their life according to this principle-- which means that having summer vacations at the beach every single year and becoming water-safe swimming experts is simply a skill white people are expected to have.
9. You are spiritual. You probably believe in crystals and astrology and reiki. You care about marine willdlife more than minorities. These are important things to women.

I would bet a fist full of cash that a dating profile that simply showcases a man's beach superiority is the clearest solution to what is needed to get as many matches as possible. For example, if you were to take two Chads of equal looks, and make one more beachy, the beach Chad will win easily. THE BEACH IS NATURE'S NIGHTCLUB. It's a mog or get mogged environment. But if you mog at the beach, you will mog with flying colors at any other place in the world: you WILL ♥♥♥♥, and ♥♥♥♥ all day till your ♥♥♥♥ falls off.

To end this post: there's only one ♥♥♥♥♥ here that doesn't belong in the beach, and just like how he doesn't belong in the beach, he really doesn't belong anywhere except an EECS class or his parent's basement.