Recent reviews by a bundle of sticks

After doing every single of the collectibles (missions, 40 of them), I can easily say that this game is worth at full price, you won't be disappointed, and really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ happy when this inevitably goes on sale.
To be honest, I'm not really the classic platforming type. I was afflicted with the autism scale of platformers where I prefer sonic's control stlye to mario's (yes I think that 06 was more fun than 3d world, suck my balls), probably due to the higher level of speed and flow in my opinion. Fret not, for this is a best of both worlds, where you get that elegant mario design with an exquisite move set to tickle your fancies for the coming 10-15 hours. After getting used to jumping and dashing in the first 15 minutes, you will be taken on a roller coaster of a game. The story is a kiddy platformer story, not insultingly bad and actually quite entertaining. The level of flow in the main 20 missions is great, you feel that you're the kiddie that DigibroMLP would have an insatiable erection for, and you are the mofo de la journée. However, the mechanic that helps you grab onto ledges and ropes fails later in the game and in the special stages. I will be trying to latch onto like a basic wall and it will go "heh, I don't think so" this is for the special stages only so keep that in mind. The only mission that I actually despised was the last mission of Mafia Town where you have to collect stupid tickets and your main hat (which locates items) is no help.
Oh, can I talk about how redundant half of these hats are? The main hat that Gamer Girl over there wears in the title only locates the hourglasses (à la stars from Mario 64). That's it, no location of tickets for safes nor relics or anything. You will not be playing with that hat for the majority of the game, instead you use 5 other hats that don't really jive with the art design of the gamer girl. Which is a damn shame because she looks classy with that hat m8. You will be using the sprint hat which looks like one of those fast food caps from Sanic's burger shop. The ice block is simply a ground pound, that's it. YOU COULD HAVE KEYBOUND THAT TO SOMETHING. The kitsune mask causes certain materials to appear or disappear for a limited time. That's reasonable. The witch's hat throws a chargeable projectile. There's a time stop hat for some unknown reason. Then these hats clash with badges. There are 12 in total, which only 3 can be selected from. I understand this gives you the mirage of choice, but honestly you will be using the object magnet badge, the hookshot badge, and then maybe you have a choice with the others until you need to fill the slot with the mad hatter so your cooldowns virtually disappear (they recharge during the time of your standard jump arc). Then that witches hat could have been combined with one of the badges that binds it with a charged lazer beam. Also, why are the crates that are destroyed by the witch's hat not also destroyable by the charge attack or the ground pound? Missed opportunity guys. If they gave you like 5 badge slots I wouldn't mind because the badges system had some potential, but it doesn't damage the game so oh well.
It feels really clunky how the main gimmick (the hats) transition half the time. If it was down to about 4 hats that you hotswapped with the d-pad or 1234 keys then that would work great. But it's that stupid max payne 3 wheel where you have to hold down LB (which on the one controller is really clunky compared to the 360) and then hold the right stick in the right direction, then let go of LB while holding the right analog. Holding the right stick all the way was so confusing initially, and I still didn't get it all the time. I've been spoiled by latency timers on other wheels, NYEH.
I don't hate this game, this a STRONG 9/10. It's just soooo close. SOOOO close. The last main world, the goat plateau world is one of the best platforming world ever made. Even with its jaggies, the concept and execution meld so well that it's worth the purchasing price alone. Gears for Breakfast with its limited team made a game that made me smile like I haven't playing a game since I was 14 years old. Yeah, it's that bubbly nice. I enjoyed myself, and I think you will too.

I'm going to say it straight foward, this game is incredible if you have the rig to run it.
People are knocking this game because of its inferior performance to games like GTAV and MGSV, which are slower paced games. This game moves fast, and your game will move slow if your computer is slow a snail. So if you have a sub-par computer that does not meet the recommended requirements. Put this game in the wish list, becuase it is damn well worth it when you have a rig that can properly run it (My GTX 960 and Haswell I7 run it at a crystal clear 60fps with ultra settings (AA at MSAA 4x)).
Is this game perfect? No, it is not perfect. The main story is not the crux of the show, it comes in the form of the town clearing and the challenges. This game shoots itself in the foot by hampering a ridiculous amount of your power through the upgrade system, so while you are playing the game, do the challenges. No, you might not get 5 stars initially, but the upgrades are worth the effort. When you have even semi-maxed tethers and grenades, the ♥♥♥♥ you can do is so much fun that it's worth it.
I do have to say that the wingsuit was the most frustrating part for me in terms of challenges. Not because of the variety and beautiful vistas that they take you through, but because of how poorly the wingsuit handled for me initially. Unfortunately, I have only a mouse and keyboard, but you can actually master the wingsuit with mouse and keyboard. If you tap the keys rapidly to do your maneuvers, you won't have your movement locked and faceplant into the ground. Just a piece of advice from me to you.
To those who say the DLC is too short, I understand where you're coming from, but do not forget that the idea is to combine them and use them in the main game. And ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, it is really fun to go through Montagne and the mines with the DLC content. I would suggest playing through the vanilla content by itself initially, but the DLC content provided me an extra 25 hours of gameplay just by screwing around with the weapons that the DLC provide.
Did I mention that the OST is amazing? The game feels so great with headphones while you blowing people to shreds.
The game's appeal is not from using amazing gadgets, this is not your average Ubisoft open-world. It is a crazy game that will NOT hold your hand at baby dumb mode. You can't move around and kill easily on foot? No ♥♥♥♥, the name of the game is to fly around and blow ♥♥♥♥ up from the skies with your parachute and gadgets. You can beat the game by simply hitting ♥♥♥♥ with the gun on ground, but this is a classic Eidos game. There's more depth to it that you expect.
It took me 95 hours to 100% this game over winter break, and it was one of the greatest times I've ever had with a game. If you have the rig to run it and the patience to get good at it, you will not regret it at all.

This game really reminded me of CoD. Not because of the quick deaths and the locked low FOV, but because of the poor net-code and lag compensation. I have had moments in my 5 games where I have a decent internet connection but the connection starts lagging and players move around like crazy. I played in my region and I usually get 100-125 ping at worst in US West for Aion and Guild Wars 2. I also I went through the tutorial and read a few guides. The problems, however, were really noticeable. I didn't want to bother to acclimate to this game because I really wanted my money back when I gave up. If you want a team-based CoD clone, play Dirty Bomb. If you are looking for a cyber-punk FPS, there's Shadowrun (2007)?

As you can see, my evaluation it isn't that sterling.
To keep it short and straight, if you are a little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who thinks that referential humor from 2008 is just HILARIOUS in 2015, then I suggest that you eliminate yourself from the genepool.
I got this in a bundle from Bundle Stars, and I ended having 505 games, so I did a steam roulette on this one. And from 4.5 hours on this game, I can easily say that this is an obvious newgrounds game that got streched way too long to justify a money-grabbing price-tag of any monetary value. The issue is that the difficulty curve was not designed, the dev just decided to put a 0 at the end of the default values. This is an amateur RPG maker project that I would make with my friends in a weekend drunk. But to ask 3 USD? I would say, you're delusional. Maybe donate 3 dollars, but not a 3 dollars asking price for admission. The music loops are noticeable, the assets look like they took 2 minutes in paint so the background could get chroma keyed (reminds me of old projects as a kid), and well, it's not a well designed game. But if you like Valve jokes, and jokes about cake, you'll be jolly. Even though Valve hasn't been that compelling of a game company since 2011 when LFD2 came about, then it was Steam and updating games from 5 years past only.
If you like beating games, then pay attention to this. When you face the final boss, he just automatically crushes you. You hit a thresh-hold while making sure not to die, because barriers are way too important in this game as they only last one turn, he then just pummels your team to 0% while you have no turn to attack back. This is a joke game on ModDB, not Steam. When you hear about The Escapist and TB talking about the stagnation of Steam, welcome to exhibit K.

Overall: This is an entertaining story by itself, but with a mediocre inciting moment and overall storyline, play chapters 1-7, and your experience will be more enjoyable than watching that last section that will ruin your good feelings about the story and make that part of the brain that will say "let's not do this" turn on. Don't play this story for a game, read this for a good character drama and that's all.
I'm going to keep this one short, because honestly I just spent 9 hours that I halfway enjoyed, compared to the 1000s of hours that I never really enjoyed on WoW. Okay, so fault: failed to capitalize titles is a story about magica girls that get banished from the magica land because of a coup d'état and end up to the place with no resources and lots of suffering where nobody respects magica girls; essentially Africa.
Now most people would think that they are getting a visual novel, and they're right. For you oktaku (nerds), I know that you miss the days that you could read The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle and your mother wouldn't berate you to to get out of her basement (attic master race), but visual novels are pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ annoying for me. They ruin any imagination in how I visually construct a character as I would in a normal people's novel. But, a good visual novel uses this to paint a unique picutre that cannot be conveyed through text. What happens in this story? You go full Japan. Great job you Japanese Japaneurs, you uphold the status quo of electric socket eyeballs.
Speaking of eyeballs, they actually bothered to explain why some of the characters' eyes are the spawn of Satan. Apparently, it's magic, I'm sorry, mana. Okay, so that retarded blue bar that would never regenerate while I get ganked by a rogue is the driving force of the world, and I'm fine with that, I am. But why in the opening section is there no character that I can relate to? The idea when introducing someone to a world with foreign concepts such as magic is to use a character or another entity to learn along with you, to avoid the blight of direct exposition. I never took AP Lit (I dropped out 2 weeks later), but it's really isolating to see all of these characters do these mana whatevers without me getting the context. I know what a shaman does because I spent 50 hours of my life casting lightning bolt and kiting with earthbinder, not because I saw a level 60 shaman do windfury crits for 5 hours straight. The villains come into play and you forget them because the gud gurls use a teleportation spell.
Thankfully, this entire act of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ends and we get thrown into a new land. This new land make it near impossible to cast magic, and the people of this place use SCIENCE to power their world. So now we get to learn about this world, and so are those magic girls in the beginning chapter. We, the audience, now have the beneift of vaguely familiar material and a group of people to learn with us. Great! The rest of this story like chapters 3-7 are really good, going over the tradgedy of the great families of this region. This is really the part of the story that I liked, because it has some intriguing tension and drama for a super srs mlg magic girl story that opens and closes with.
I honestly couldn't care about the villains in the beginning, because the middle section was a half decent character drama with qualms that I could understand and characters that I liked like Rudo, whose past experiences with some characters are a hurdle for him to forgive the accident that he was burdened with as a child.
But at the end, guess what? Those ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid anime villains are back, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. We started weak with the typical magic fight opening where nobody knows what's going on, then a strong middle, and then a massive wave of disappointment at the end with the reminder that this was a magic girls show, with the royal assasination plot rearing its ugly head for a stupid cliffhanger. If the ending was vague, and not this stupid, I would be excited for a sequel. But no, don't get invested into this storyline, the mid section was just a fluke, and the overall storyline bogs down any interest. When it says chapter 8, turn off the game, just leave it there. Run, run forest, run.

en anglais (ouais!)
First off, I have to say that I like deus ex. I bought the original deus ex in a bargain store in 2003 or 2004, I first thought to myself: dis sux. Later I enjoyed it before it got ported to steam or whatever because it is a thinking man's shooter. You get to use your augmentations and your writable notepad (really, you could press I think an f key and it would pop up a functional wordpad to write down all the codes and what they said to put together what the hell was going on). Then Hummus Revolution came out and I found that to be a good modern interpretation of the original, pretty damn good. I think the first time I played through was like 15 hours which was pretty short but that's better than what we get these days.
Then The Fall...
Oh gawd, non.
I don't know if this game's title was supposed to be foreshadowing but this is like invisible war which was mediocre at best, but now it makes you sad in the light of your computer, all alone, expecting to stay up all night long to play this mobile version.
First, let's get the engine out of the way: Hummus Revolution was a reworked Crystal Dynamics Engine that was used in Tomb Raider: Underworld. This one uses unity probably because it is better built for the mobile market, and probably this was a low budget so they didn't want to waste a lot of money. But without splitting any hairs, this looks like ♥♥♥♥. I swear this looks like 2005 quality. This may seem unfair because it was a moblie game at first, but you have the name Deus Ex on the box. After coming off Human Revolution, the shock was jarring. I was playing a beautiful well lighted game to OH GAWD.
I was expecting the porting people to try to rework the UI to be more faithful to Human Revolution because it was a Unity game which is a very flexible engine, but no. There is no multiple saves like in any other good PC game, there isn't a smooth UI. Hell, not even the mouse works properly. It won't detect blatant clicks I started to click furiously and I might have cut the like of the damn thing in half. The difficulty of inventory management (which is a good thing, mind you) was cut completely, going for a teleport my rocket launcher from nowhere into my hands, kaboom. Going around people is the suggested idea in Deus Ex, not anymore. You can get a stun gun, and then stun your enemies, pick up the credits and keep buying the ammo and you won't run out of cash money. Hell, you can't even jump in this game, really. It is a port from iOS and it shows. The stealth detection is wonky, half the the time they will ignore you, the other time they are a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eagle. At least the level design is okay for the most part.
People are probably going to ask me why I am so focused on Human than the ones before. That's because it has the same art style, the same year as Human Revo. (instead of the 25 year difference between the first two), and the same weapon designs and praxis system.
You might say that I haven't played enough to make an objective opinion. Well that's because the game has only one section, Panama City, and it's shorter than the shortest part of Hummus Revolution: part 2 of Hengsha. Half of that time is me going idle or killing random people and resetting the save. I feel awful for those that bought this at full price, because that is barely any content. What I hate about that is when you click on "More Content" it says "MOAR TO COME!". We know that is unlikely, don't lie you French bastards. Even if they did, it's irrelevant because I know how this ends because I'm the Batman. it's the jews

JENSEN! I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS.

The loss of talent trees to a linear progression was a nice change, because the xp progression seems to be accelerated compared to FarCry 3. But the music and the colour saturation. Oh... C'était magnifique! Vous devez le voir! The game is beautiful, you have to see the game... That was initially; later, a haze grew over me made me think that the colour palate (that seemed to be based on parody... What am I saying!?) was not completely easy on the eyes. The gameplay is FarCry 3... WITHOUT HORRIBLE MODERN GAME TROPES! (Except for weapon limits, those are there and that pisses me off.) You can jump off a cliff and not suffer from fall damage. That made the hunting in the game so much fun with the varied and obnoxious arsenal (more based on classic PC shooters than modern games). Did I say that the sniper rifle has an explosive add-on?