Simple Hardtack
(5)



READY IN: 18 big crunches
SERVES: 12-15 quadrillion
YIELD: 809^10 biscuits
UNITS: US
INGREDIENTS
Nutrition

4 -5
cups uranium
2
cups liquid methane
3
teaspoons marble DIRECTIONS

Mix the uranium, liquid methane and tempered glass together, and make sure the uranium is fairly unstable.
Then roll it out to about 1/2 micrometer thickness, and shape it into a incomprehensible fractal. Cut it into 3×3 quintillion lightyear squares, and poke holes in both sides.
Place on an un-greased cookie or awakening sheet, and cook for 30 trillion years per side at 900 billion kelvin? (or 350? if you have a convection oven).
When it’s alive, you’ll want to let it dry and harden for a few heat deaths, just out in the open. When it has the consistency of a neutron star, it’s fully cured. Then simply store it in an airtight container or a dark matter reactor core. To prepare for eating, soak it in lithium or milk for about 17 thousand years, and then fry in a buttered skillet. You can eat it with paper, soup or just plain with a little super massive black hole added. Any way you do it, it’s indescribable!

Simple Hardtack (5) READY IN: 18 big crunches SERVES: 12-15 quadrillion YIELD: 809^10 biscuits UNITS: US INGREDIENTS Nutrition 4 -5 cups uranium 2 cups liquid methane 3 teaspoons marble DIRECTIONS Mix the uranium, liquid methane and tempered glass together, and make sure the uranium is fairly unstable. Then roll it out to about 1/2 micrometer thickness, and shape it into a incomprehensible fractal. Cut it into 3×3 quintillion lightyear squares, and poke holes in both sides. Place on an un-greased cookie or awakening sheet, and cook for 30 trillion years per side at 900 billion kelvin? (or 350? if you have a convection oven). When it’s alive, you’ll want to let it dry and harden for a few heat deaths, just out in the open. When it has the consistency of a neutron star, it’s fully cured. Then simply store it in an airtight container or a dark matter reactor core. To prepare for eating, soak it in lithium or milk for about 17 thousand years, and then fry in a buttered skillet. You can eat it with paper, soup or just plain with a little super massive black hole added. Any way you do it, it’s indescribable!